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Reasons to be Cheerful


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Where's she off to?

*sniffs baws and armpits, combs down eyebrows with spit*

 

She's gone shellsuit shopping, then off to Elizabeth Duke to get five or six of her sovvy rings re-sized.

 

Your grooming routine may be unnecessary. 

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BFTD's probably.

 

The wife's just gone to bed; give it ten minutes and I'll leave the back door unlocked.

 

You owe me big for this. Two, perhaps three Moray Cups.

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She's out of your league, Peter.

 

He's a Killie: empty tubes of KY jelly are out of his league.

 

How the f**k do you know my name?

 

You have the bodies of several prostitutes in the back of your truck. It must have been an educated guess.

 

I'm Monsters teenager.

 

Clean your fucking room  you spotty little thundercunt.

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