ScottR96 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Sent a #zeropointer a text gloating about my new #twopointer status. He didn't take it well. Sent from my GT-S5830i using Pie & Bovril mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 *Makes a Sideshow Bob grumbling sound* I had a terrible feeling you'd win, VT. But a worthy winner you are. Well done indeed. But don't think this is over, my friend. Oh no. This isn't over at all. In time your reign of terror will stutter and fail worse than a Morton promotion challenge. *Spins round on Bad Guy Chair, plots revenge* A brave face placed on events, but it appears you forgot a rather important detail when predicting a swift demise for the most Box-Office Poster in P&B History: A total of 46 posters voted in these awards, with 79 people receiving one or more votes. Exactly 50 posters received 3 or more points, which makes my life very easy when it comes to the results. 10 or more points were needed to make it into the top 20. 16 or more points were needed to make it into the top 10. 27 or more points were needed to make it into the top 5. The overall winner had 87 points, giving them a winning margin of 24 points. Ooft. You could park the metaphorical bus between Number 1 and Number 2 on the site. 24 points. Just let that sink in. In fact scrap the metaphor: prepare to be greeted when you boldly venture down the Clyde Riviera for your team's pumping, by an open-top bus, Route Number 1, with 'The Box Office welcomes slightly inferior but still #dece contributors' emblazoned on the side. No slumming it on public transport for the Top 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Sent a #zeropointer a text gloating about my new #twopointer status. He didn't take it well. Sent from my GT-S5830i using Pie & Bovril mobile app Your view of how the conversation went seems to be a significantly embellished truth. #VL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 A brave face placed on events, but it appears you forgot a rather important detail when predicting a swift demise for the most Box-Office Poster in P&B History: Ooft. You could park the metaphorical bus between Number 1 and Number 2 on the site. 24 points. Just let that sink in. Oh it's sunk in already, VT. Don't you worry about that. I had a look at this thread on my phone as I watched the tennis in Mennie's on the Perth Road last night. When I saw that I'd come in second it hit me: VT is the most influential poster in P&B history. f**k. I stared at the TV screen for a long time, man. Eons seemed to pass. Stars were born, did a bit of the old twinkling then went supernova before I finally snapped out my trance and realised, by f**k do I need another pint. To my horror, when I turned to seek the barman's attention he had... THE FACE. I rubbed the eyes that surely betrayed me, and turned to seek solace in the old man who'd suggested Sir Alex Ferguson "claps a wee bit funny, doesn't he?" when he appeared on screen as a spectator during the course of the tennis. The old man's face was... Muttering that I'd finally lost my shit completely I turned to my left to the middle aged couple who'd went mental and got Scampi Fries AND Bacon Fries with their drinks. These half-daft snacking revolutionaries had the face of... No. This can't be happening. Breathing hard and sweating profusely I made a dash for the toilet and lined up at the urinal. A piss would make me feel better. A piss would make it all go away. I laughed hysterically to myself as the urine flowed and turned to engage in some awkward got-yer-cock-out-eh? chatter with the boy next to me. He had... THE FACE The man's penis, which I only took a passing glance at by accident because...hey f**k you, just because... You guessed it. THE FACE. Everywhere. Every-fucking-where. There was no escape. I went home, hid in a cupboard, cried, masturbated whilst thinking about Andy Murray's mum, cried some more and then went and did a bit of hoovering because shit is getting dusty out there, ken? A good tidy up then bed. I woke up feeling like some kind of champion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 masturbated whilst thinking about Andy Murray's mum Aye, but she had the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I woke up feeling like some kind of champion. ... until you realised you came second Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Aye, but she had the face. Pornography is totally ruined for me now. Black guys doing fat wives in front of their husbands - the face. Lassies sooking off horses - the face. Japanese lassies being felt up on busy trains - the face. I'd be as well wanking over Masterchef. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Your view of how the conversation went seems to be a significantly embellished truth. #VL Still hurting I see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Still hurting I see. I guess I'll just have to dry my eyes and come to terms with the fact that someone so damn influential as a #twopointer even talks to a meagre #zeropointer like myself. After your sobering experience seeing Bon Jovi last night, this new-found status will have raised your spirits slightly I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I'd be as well wanking over Masterchef. It's not as unpleasant as it sounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Was the above basically the scene during your "f**k it, I came second, that's good enough for a victory lap", Barry? Fucking terrifying...but sexy at the same time. Confusing man is Greggy, smug too, effortlessly smug! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I'd be as well wanking over Masterchef. If you don't mind a bit of Michel Roux Jr., then this video should get the old juices flowing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I guess I'll just have to dry my eyes and come to terms with the fact that someone so damn influential as a #twopointer even talks to a meagre #zeropointer like myself. After your sobering experience seeing Bon Jovi last night, this new-found status will have raised your spirits slightly I suppose. Ooft . Chin up, pal. You and your dad are still more than welcome to sit in the same area as me at Broadwood next season despite my new found status as a two pointer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Ooft . Chin up, pal. You and your dad are still more than welcome to sit in the same area as me at Broadwood next season despite my new found status as a two pointer. I think you mean that you want to keep sitting in MY area. I was there first, I popularised it. It's a coveted area so I have to police members very tightly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 It's a coveted area so I have to police members very tightly. You can be arrested for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Not to mention starting every EPL match thread 6 days early Until you posted that I had no idea who this poster was. I wouldn't say VikingTon has had much of an influence on the site for me but I think I will love him forever because of that classic thread where he destroyed LOL @ Celtic. For that thread alone he is a worthy winner as far as I'm concerned. LOL @ Celtic was a complete c**t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StewartyMac Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Zero points is officially the new box office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy85 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Would it be possible for Div to implement a tool for putting all 'zero pointers' on ignore? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Would it be possible for Div to implement a tool for putting all 'zero pointers' on ignore? Are you volunteering? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy85 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Are you volunteering? These are exactly the sort of posts I'm looking to avoid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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