Grim O'Grady Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I had a pint with Ray Stephens last saturday,and he never spilt a drop. In a similar vein, (no pun intended) I was in a bar toilets with Shaky sniffing "shake & vac" from around the pan lid & he never spilt a spot. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 The Forth Road Bridge is shut due to industrial action by redundant painters of the other bridge. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Derren Brown cannot actually read due the fact he is as blind as a wanking jap. He overcomes his shortfall by utilising his keen sense of smell and sheer guesswork. His act is 99.99% formed around these, so called, skills. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 We have a world champion amongst our ranks. Popular poster, Grim Oo'Gravy, is the current tummysticks WC. Grimbo won this due his fellow finalist, the Romanian Yuri Putinmeov, being disqualified for being unable to get a root on. There was a protest from the Romanians regarding Grimbos "unorthodox" fluffing techniques which were fucked right off by the TWATS (The World Association for TummySticks) as his pinger producers were within the weight and size regulations. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Glasgow Celtic were the poorest supported club in Glasgow up until the late 60s when there was the reintroduction of Irish Bars and a rise in Irish Nationalism which resulted in the 'resurrection' of the Irish Repubagain Army. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 We have a world champion amongst our ranks. Popular poster, Grim Oo'Gravy, is the current tummysticks WC. Grimbo won this due his fellow finalist, the Romanian Yuri Putinmeov, being disqualified for being unable to get a root on. There was a protest from the Romanians regarding Grimbos "unorthodox" fluffing techniques which were fucked right off by the TWATS (The World Association for TummySticks) as his pinger producers were within the weight and size regulations. Obviously as shy & retiring as I am. That is not my only entry in the GBoR's. I am also WC polo (most attached to my body), that record was achieved in 1988 . I have plenty more as well. Please read below for evidence. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Edmund Crosse, of Crosse and Blackwell fame, claimed that he was given the recipe for Branston Pickle by a genie he had let out of a magic lamp he found in a dustbin in Margate. He was at the time unsatisfied with his cheese sandwiches, and so requested a recipe for a tangy, slightly sweet chutney to liven them up. Thus Branston Pickle was born. His other two requests were for a 12 inch penis and for everlasting unrest in the Middle East. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Syd Little (of Little and Large fame) invented the Wheelie Bin. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 The popular dish of spaghetti with mince in tomato sauce was invented by Alberto Stepto of Bognor. His Spaghetti Bognorese was ordered one day by a rep from Dolmios who was on holiday in Bognor. As a result Dolmios ripped off the recipe and renamed the dish Spaghetti Bolognese as this sounded better in marketing terms. Similarly the Hawaiian pizza actually originates from Newcastle where it was known as the Howay Man Pizza. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qos_75 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Former Dundee striker, Nicky Banger appeared in a 2012, Injury Lawyers For You T.V advertisement. For the record he slipped on a Shepherd's Pie spillage on the floor of a nondescript staff canteen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Nicky Banger is named in Hugh McIlvanney's book "Footballers with inappropriate names" after he repeatedly failed to score in Dundee nightclubs. Other footballers mentioned are David Goodwillie, Danny Invincible and Dean Brill. Ally Dick sued the author when he was left out the book. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 It's been scientifically proved that all the floods in the Borders & Northern England are directly attributed to all the public houses being closed down over the last 10 years, averaging of 2 a week. That's approx 1000 ale houses gone. That's a lot of unsupped ale. The solution is to start drinking more ale otherwise all the unprocessed alcohol eg water will have to go somewhere. It's in our hands. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 The big lanky guy that gives the witty asides on Pointless has written two books about the oryx. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 The Marathon chocolate bar was originally called Trainers, hence the American name Snickers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) Most folk know that Apocalypse Now was based on Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" which was set in Africa. What they don't realise is that Conrad's book was based itself on another work , a Scottish Novella of the same name by Mary McCousin in 1862. This was a work about a monk, Brother Stillhard, and his journey up the River Leven to the depths of Fife, in his journey to find the Sisters Cuntz who had set up their own religion after going native somewhere near Lochgelly. It did not sell well at the time as nobody believed the tales of painted naked savages and their heathenish ungodly practices. Duh. Edited December 13, 2015 by Njord 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Most folk know that Apocalypse Now was based on Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" which was set in Africa. What they don't realise is that Conrad's book was based itself on another work , a Scottish Novella of the same name by Mary McCousin in 1862. This was a work about a monk, Brother Stillhard, and his journey up the River Leven to the depths of Fife, in his journey to find the Sisters Cuntz who had set up their own religion after going native somewhere near Lochgelly. It did not sell well at the time as nobody believed the tales of painted naked savages and their heathenish ungodly practices. Duh. Sounds a bit like Tarzan of the Apes too, are all classic works of fiction stolen from 17th Century Fife? Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) Sounds a bit like Tarzan of the Apes too, are all classic works of fiction stolen from 17th Century Fife? Grimbo Yes. The Beverly Hillbillies was based on a story about the Beverley family from Hill o' Beath who moved up in Fife society after discovering coal in their back garden. Edited December 13, 2015 by dee_62 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 In the early 70's Val Doonican's management persuaded him that he needed a more contemporary, edgier image. In a bold but somewhat misjudged venture, Doonican tried to tap in to the then fashionable habit of the rock fraternity of sleeping with underage girls. The resulting album 'Come Sit By My Rocking Chair.' was not a success, bearing only a minor hit in Germany, 'Ankle Socks And Lollipops', which reached no 47 there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) Christmas was re-invented by the wrapping paper conglomerates (including the Gift Wrap Company) in 1966 after England won the World Cup. Before that, no-one wrapped Christmas presents and very few people even gave presents beyond the usual clementine, apple, and chocolate penny. This tradition (of not wrapping) has been continued on a very limited basis. (Refer to the Does Santa wrap presents thread on P&B ) Edited December 28, 2015 by dee_62 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Christmas was originally called Jesus Christmas. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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