Fullerene Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 Her Majesty the Queen, Elizabeth II has no hair below her waistline. This is due to a rare condition which affects all members of the Royal Family. You realise, of course, that some poor civil servant will now have to make discrete enquiries to see if there is any truth to this - and if so - has national security been breached - i.e. what else do you know. "Excuse me, Mam, a small delicate matter I need to discuss with you concerning national security ..." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 This is true as prince Charles nickname was baldyballs at school. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black and White Tragic Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 The phrase "keep your pecker up" originated in whore houses in the mid west of America in the late 1800s. It would be said to the client as they wanted to maximise revenue and productivity. If you hear your missus saying it to your kids, gently scold her and remind her of where the phrase comes from. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Stenhousemuir is a lovely place. Oh dear, sarcasm. Still smarting over that cup defeat in 1995? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Dundee is just wrong in general, as is the majority of the east of Scotland. I had the pleasure of the company of a rather good looking barmaid when I was sort of living where I am now. She was fortunate to have very big tits and I had a lovely evening doing what young fellas do. Being a young fella, however, I sort of let myself down by cumming in her mouth and therefore becoming immediately bored with her and not going to the party she had invited me to. I must also add that she was a wee half caste darling and to this day is the closest I have come to fucking a black lass. You never know though.. This post belongs in this thread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Although the portaloo was patented in Stenhousemuir it's origins can be traced back to the ancient Greeks (as can homosexuality). Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Per head of population, Scotland consumes more vodka than Russia. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Tennents lager is illegal in Russia. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 So is arson 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 Sociology Professor Diane Pingle of Aberdeen University will later this year reveal the 20-year results of her annual survey of students on whether it's shite being Scottish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 November is the only month that women are allowed to display corned beef legs in St Petersburg, anyone caught displaying them outwith November it's on the spot fine of 50ruble. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 Tomorrow is ladies day in Penrith when women over the age of 18 are allowed to drive cars and wear flat shoes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 Penrith Syndrome is a rare medical condition that affects Chris Eubank when he signs too many autographs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Every German tank in WW2 was fitted with a ukulele. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie95 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Meanwhile every British tank was fitted with a triangle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Battle of The Bugle is spelled wrong and kept secret as the public would find in unacceptable that thousands died over a mythical musical instrument. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 15 to 1 game show was originally called Bukkake Super Funtime Television Show. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a1974h Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Chris Eubanks lisp formed when he bit his on tongue aged 6 after a brief encounter with a Chelsea whopper 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a1974h Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Jordan was her regional 15-1 champion 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 (edited) Germans use an extra 1700 litres of ink each year as a result of the dash through their numbers 7s. Edited April 27, 2016 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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