Jump to content

Facts you made up


Mak

Recommended Posts

Mr Kipling not only made very good cakes but also starred in over 40 adult movies. According to a review of one of his movies, Ice My Buns, Kipling was "hung like a pit pony" and could "go like a sewing machine".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mr Kipling not only made very good cakes but also starred in over 40 adult movies. According to a review of one of his movies, Ice My Buns, Kipling was "hung like a pit pony" and could "go like a sewing machine".

The "Bakewell Tart" is actually named after Joan Bakewell, who was his first on-screen partner.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Possession is actually 5/6th of the law and not 9/10ths.

In Barcelona possession was recently changed to 39/40 of the law, because Xavi and Iniesta's possession stats were so high that they were technically criminals.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mr Kipling not only made very good cakes but also starred in over 40 adult movies. According to a review of one of his movies, Ice My Buns, Kipling was "hung like a pit pony" and could "go like a sewing machine".

This is why most of my ex partners called me needle dick.

Edited by SlipperyP
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nicola Sturgeon used to be a big name on the underground graffiti scene and went by the tag name 'Nicstur'.She has several pieces which can be seen on leaving Glasgow Central high level.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

More owls suffer from clinical depression than humans.

Owls suffer humans?

The term 'grammar Nazi' was coined by Cliff Thorburn in a 1970s snooker contract dispute.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Per Mertesacker refuses to play unless the match balls have been soaked in children's tears, Arsenal send Danny Welbeck out to bully children to collect them to fill a tank at the Emirates.

At away games this is what the team water bottles are filled with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is why most of my ex partners called me needle dick.

Wee willy fast arse.

Back on topic, who here remembers finding ripped up porn mags and white dog toffee in the park, when you were young? It was no coincidence they disappeared from view at the same time.

The culprit, well culprits, were a strange creature going by the name of Chazena, chingus wankerous. They had the body and build of a hyena and they all, females included, had the head, and face, with a similarity to Charlie Sheens. There were rare, but unconfirmed sitings, of a species with John Aldridge heads. They were strictly nocturnal and lived off a diet of bongo mags and industrial strength amphetamines.

No one, really knows, how they died out and there are a shed load of theories out there. My favourite, and most feasible, is the birth of the Internet starved them of half there dietary needs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's not generally known that Steven Gerrard was an Arbroath fan when young. He used to enjoy reading about Jimmy Fotheringham and Alan McKenna while delivering the Courier to an exiled Dundonian on his paper round. His prize possession is an Arbroath strip signed by Derek Steel that he bought off e-bay for a then record price of £3.25

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...