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Have I got Local News For You


Tryfield

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The latest from my work: Pensioner stabbed in back by elderly wife after row over plant pot.

 

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/pensioner-stabbed-back-elderly-wife-7760934

 

Perhaps the highlight of this brutal violence is when the woman "tried to telephone an ambulance but dialled the wrong number".

 

Presume you covered this one too?

 

Woman batters partner with griddle pan

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In today's D & G Standard:  A woman is looking for help to track down a missing Adidas trainer which disappeared from the back of her van. "It could have fallen out of the back of my van or been taken"  She added "I don't have many pairs of â€‹nice shoes so I fell robbed." 

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Yes we did. Stop linking to our rivals :P

 

A tremendous one in this week (not court). Will post the link when it's online.

 

I see someone's already found it.

 

In today's D & G Standard:  A woman is looking for help to track down a missing Adidas trainer which disappeared from the back of her van. "It could have fallen out of the back of my van or been taken"  She added "I don't have many pairs of â€‹nice shoes so I fell robbed." 

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In today's D & G Standard:  A woman is looking for help to track down a missing Adidas trainer which disappeared from the back of her van. "It could have fallen out of the back of my van or been taken"  She added "I don't have many pairs of â€‹nice shoes so I fell robbed." 

 

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/shoedunnit-dumfries-woman-hopping-mad-7810226

 

Meanwhile, a man who doesn't like the EU has put up a swastika outside his house. Obviously.

 

http://m.dailyecho.co.uk/news/14445878.Huge_swastika_poster_hung_on_house/

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The free advertising for her dog grooming/walking business is of course pure coincidence.

 

ETA: Has she lost a trainer though or are the pictures reversed? I'm sure in one picture (in D & G Standard) it looks to me like she is holding a right trainer and in another (above link) it looks like she is holding a left trainer.   Hmmm strange.

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The free advertising for her dog grooming/walking business is of course pure coincidence.

 

ETA: Has she lost a trainer though or are the pictures reversed? I'm sure in one picture (in D & G Standard) it looks to me like she is holding a right trainer and in another (above link) it looks like she is holding a left trainer.   Hmmm strange.

 

Yeah that's exactly what this smacks off. And "Shoedunnit", Stu have a word with 'Magdalene' please!

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Enough said.

 

You got that far? Taxi driver was enough for me.

 

The free advertising for her dog grooming/walking business is of course pure coincidence.

 

ETA: Has she lost a trainer though or are the pictures reversed? I'm sure in one picture (in D & G Standard) it looks to me like she is holding a right trainer and in another (above link) it looks like she is holding a left trainer.   Hmmm strange.

 

Good spot! Checked the system, two different pictures. How odd. By coincidence there was a shoe lying in the car park outside work at the start of the week but when I went out today to see if it was a trainer it had gone.

 

Yeah that's exactly what this smacks off. And "Shoedunnit", Stu have a word with 'Magdalene' please!

 

Hope you're not implying that's some sort of pseudonym I use! I had a word with her and she had two for you, the second of which was "off". She did laugh when I told her about the thread though and we're wondering if some papers deliberately print stories like this just so they'll get the hits from folk saying "Have you seen this pish?" and the like. Not that we do that  :shutup

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Never thought I would read an alien abduction story in Torquay's Herald Express tbh.

 

http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/Valerie-recalls-night-abducted-aliens/story-29137988-detail/story.html#ixzz46jFOPyuk

 

I'm willing to bet that the aliens passed on probing her.

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Shamelessly stolen from Have I Got News for You*.  Well in the West Highland Free Press:

 

post-44711-0-85627700-1461533360_thumb.j

 

*Introduced this week by Victoria Coren.  I dare you to watch and not think, "Tit w**k":

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b078dmkx/have-i-got-news-for-you-series-51-episode-3

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Never thought I would read an alien abduction story in Torquay's Herald Express tbh.

http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/Valerie-recalls-night-abducted-aliens/story-29137988-detail/story.html#ixzz46jFOPyuk

Nothing will top Winchester's "alien in a tutu" spotted strolling around the town centre with a "penguin-like gait" by a local councillor.

http://metro.co.uk/2009/10/04/winchester-alien-spotted-wearing-ballet-shoes-and-a-ufo-tutu-says-councillor-adrian-hicks-455656/

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