Father and Son Relationships

[bullywee]

It's funny because the dude was smothered to death but he wasn't a mother at all. He was a father.

[Boostin' Kev]

He's not bad I suppose but don't have many fond memories of him as a kid and certainly none at all after my mother died and he remarried while I was still living at home. I think he's trying to make amends now he's feeling mortality creeping in but it's a too late tbh and you can't rewrite history. Still, he's having some health issues just now so will probably have to let go of any indifferent feelings, don't want to be regretting anything after he's gone.

[The Grass Is Greener.]

Surely the dude that killed his dad is at the wind up?

Fucking hell

[banana]

Some crackin empathy kickin around here for an 11 year old in a horrific situation he would have barely understood, and the boy, teenager and adult that's had to carry that for the remainder of his life. Fuckin hell.

[jagfox]

I can see in certain circumstances why you wouldn't want a loved one to go on suffering but I can't think of any situation that the responsibility should be passed to an 11 year old child to apply the final blow, as it where?

[frankmccallum]

Surely there would have been other avenues to go down, rather than have an 11 year old boy do it?

On opening the thread I was expecting a few grim stories/relationships, but that one caught me off guard.

[Shandon Par]

In the pre, or at least early internet days, I relied on my old man posting me cuttings about the Pars from The Courier or Dunfermline Press. We'd been a bit grouchy with each other when I'd got into boozing/staying out all weeekend etc (whilst still at school) but after moving away to become a student we had a much better, more equal relationship.

My flatmate answered the phone one day and had to pass on the message that my old man had died. He'd been hit by a random/strange illness a couple of years earlier (Guillame Barre Syndrome) and that had probably weakened his heart a bit. He played golf one Saturday morning, had a wee nap and just never woke up (heart attack got him).

[Sweet Pete]

You know what they say, lads; if there's grass on the wicket, you're old enough to euthanise a loved one.

[Mr Bairn]

I can't believe someone has openly admitted to murdering their dad on here, I thought it was a joke or something but apparently not. Fucking hell.

Have a great relationship with my dad. Me and some mates were talking about this a while ago and all seemed to share the view that you're shit scared of your dad when you're young and misbehaving but once you get to maybe 12/13 you become best mates.

Agreed except for me it was when I was 18 and moved out

[Sergeant Wilson]

My father had a loveless childhood and that was evident when dealing with my fragile moments as a shy teenager as he had no compassion what so ever and came across as very cruel and insensitive.

I remember being shy about shaving as is probably normal for lads going through puberty and rather than take the time out to teach me to shave he would openly mock me when i had cuts on my face and drop crass comments about where the fur above my upper lip had gone. For what ever reason i was very embarrassed by this as growing facial hair for the first time is quite a sensitive time for any young man and you take things like this personally, well at least i did. I suppose its down to hormones.

When it was evident i had started masturbating things got a lot worse, he saw that sketch on chewing the fat when the mother tells family friends that her oldest has just started masturbating and used it to humiliate me time after time when he had a drink in him (which was very often) and or we had friends around. My mother would rightly butcher him for it afterwards but I'm pretty sure she found it funny.

Come to think of it, my dad was a c**t.

Before he left, did he name you Sue?

[Jimmy85]

I can't imagine how miserable your social life must be to class your dad as your best friend.

[Honest_Man#1]

Some crackin empathy kickin around here for an 11 year old in a horrific situation he would have barely understood, and the boy, teenager and adult that's had to carry that for the remainder of his life. Fuckin hell.

While there's absolutely no doubt that it's a horrific thing to go through and I genuinely do feel sorry for him, he said that "we couldn't take it anymore" suggesting that without any indication from his dad (I know it sounds like he couldn't give any) he decided to end his life due to the stress it was placing on him and his mum rather than on his actual dad. Obviously very hard to tell the actual situation from the single post though.

More importantly though, as others have said, how it was left to an 11 year old to do it once the decision has been made is a complete mystery. Cowardly by the adults involved tbh.

[Jimmy85]

In fairness, he's probably made the whole episode up tbh.

[Honest_Man#1]

In fairness, he's probably made the whole episode up tbh.

I seriously hope so (although it'd be extremely bizarre).

[Sergeant Wilson]

I can't imagine how miserable your social life must be to class your dad as your best friend.

Especially if he's dead.

[SlipperyP]

I believe I have to clarify a few things here.

My father was my no.1, we had travelled all over the world with his job, sometimes only a few months in one place, I never had a settled schooling, therefore never made close friend. We would do everything together. Mother was diagnosed with cancer and we returned to Scotland at the beginning of 1984.

July '84 my mother died age 36 of cancer and the following January my father had the brain hemorrhage he was 37. There was only my two sister (older) & myself. Some family were involved but that soon faded away,as they had to travel from Glasgow. I was taken into care but refused stay and would always return to stay with my father at his hospital bedside. Wild horses wouldn't have dragged me away. Social services then decided that I could stay at the hospital as long as I attended school during the day. This went on for the full time duration of his coma.

He did finally awake but was a vegetable & would scream the place down with shouting "NO" all day & all night, this went on for 2 months, until he had another lapse. It was a few days later....the rest you can imagine. I was put into a children home for a few years, but ended up going and staying with my eldest sister once she got married.

I'll live with this for the rest of my life, it horrifies me just typing this. I have good days & bad.

I have a family now and a son that I'm completely devoted to, I hope I can be as great as my father.

[SweeperDee]

I believe I have to clarify a few things here.

My father was my no.1, we had travelled all over the world with his job, sometimes only a few months in one place, I never had a settled schooling, therefore never made close friend. We would do everything together. Mother was diagnosed with cancer and we returned to Scotland at the beginning of 1984.

July '84 my mother died age 36 of cancer and the following January my father had the brain hemorrhage he was 37. There was only my two sister (older) & myself. Some family were involved but that soon faded away,as they had to travel from Glasgow. I was taken into care but refused stay and would always return to stay with my father at his hospital bedside. Wild horses wouldn't have dragged me away. Social services then decided that I could stay at the hospital as long as I attended school during the day. This went on for the full time duration of his coma.

He did finally awake but was a vegetable & would scream the place down with shouting "NO" all day & all night, this went on for 2 months, until he had another lapse. It was a few days later....the rest you can imagine. I was put into a children home for a few years, but ended up going and staying with my eldest sister once she got married.

I'll live with this for the rest of my life, it horrifies me just typing this. I have good days & bad.

I have a family now and a son that I'm completely devoted to, I hope I can be as great as my father.

No need to justify anything to anyone, bud. Hope you're okay.

[The Grass Is Greener.]

I believe I have to clarify a few things here.

My father was my no.1, we had travelled all over the world with his job, sometimes only a few months in one place, I never had a settled schooling, therefore never made close friend. We would do everything together. Mother was diagnosed with cancer and we returned to Scotland at the beginning of 1984.

July '84 my mother died age 36 of cancer and the following January my father had the brain hemorrhage he was 37. There was only my two sister (older) & myself. Some family were involved but that soon faded away,as they had to travel from Glasgow. I was taken into care but refused stay and would always return to stay with my father at his hospital bedside. Wild horses wouldn't have dragged me away. Social services then decided that I could stay at the hospital as long as I attended school during the day. This went on for the full time duration of his coma.

He did finally awake but was a vegetable & would scream the place down with shouting "NO" all day & all night, this went on for 2 months, until he had another lapse. It was a few days later....the rest you can imagine. I was put into a children home for a few years, but ended up going and staying with my eldest sister once she got married.

I'll live with this for the rest of my life, it horrifies me just typing this. I have good days & bad.

I have a family now and a son that I'm completely devoted to, I hope I can be as great as my father.

Sorry for my post earlier about saying you must be at the wind up, I think it just took me be surprise.

Thanks for sharing your story and it's good to hear your doing well for yourself with your own family.

Stick in, mate.

[Boostin' Kev]

That's some story Slippery. All the best.

[throbber]

Before he left, did he name you Sue?

While it may have sounded like a similar sort of story he certainly didn't act like that to try and toughen me up. As the years have passed i actually put it down to a lack of social confidence on his part when there are friends around and a need to try and impress others, something that i never really did myself as a teenager but find myself fighting the urge to do now that I'm grown up and around certain people. I suppose its a tendency in a lot of people to get laughs out of the more vulnerable ones in our presence, sort of like a food chain.