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New Forth Road Bridge - Open/Closed still shit


D.A.F.C

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Anyone want to comment on the appropriate protocol on the Clack bridge heading south? It's down to one lane at the very end of the bridge but everyone appears to want to merge into the right hand lane before the lane closed warning signs even start. The first sign is 800 yards before the lane closes and this morning every other car was in the right hand lane before reaching that sign. That's half a fucking mile.

I tootled along in the left hand lane until the merge point and must have passed about a hundred cars in the process before slipping effortlessly into the right lane before the left lane closed. On the one hand I was like "err, is this cool, am I taking the piss? I feel like I'm taking the piss ", :unsure2: but then on the other hand I was more like " toot toot, coming through " :lol:.

On balance I feel that the latter position was justified but I'm open to comments, constructive, abusive or otherwise.

Ace driver.

854806fonzie.gif

Looks like I've fixed the queues on the bridge. Straight over this morning without even pausing to zip up, same time as yesterday, only difference is that there are now signs in the run up and on the bridge instructing drivers to queue in both lanes. Coincidence? Unlikely. Obviously some bod from Transport Scotland read my post yesterday and realised where everyone was going wrong.

PMS: 1

Drones: 0

You're welcome.

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854806fonzie.gif

Looks like I've fixed the queues on the bridge. Straight over this morning without even pausing to zip up, same time as yesterday, only difference is that there are now signs in the run up and on the bridge instructing drivers to queue in both lanes. Coincidence? Unlikely. Obviously some bod from Transport Scotland read my post yesterday and realised where everyone was going wrong.

PMS: 1

Drones: 0

You're welcome.

I got a PM from someone at Transport Scotland too. They wanted to know where they could get a good deal on some grey caulk.

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854806fonzie.gif

Looks like I've fixed the queues on the bridge. Straight over this morning without even pausing to zip up, same time as yesterday, only difference is that there are now signs in the run up and on the bridge instructing drivers to queue in both lanes. Coincidence? Unlikely. Obviously some bod from Transport Scotland read my post yesterday and realised where everyone was going wrong.

PMS: 1

Drones: 0

You're welcome.

I'll take the credit for that, thank you very much. You panicked and asked the question and I gave the solution.

I'm telling you, I'll be traffic minister before the year's out. I'll be astounded if I don't have a pm from Nicola Sturgeon (**Nicola-Ghirl** or whatever her name is) before the end of the day.

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I'll take the credit for that, thank you very much. You panicked and asked the question and I gave the solution.

I'm telling you, I'll be traffic minister before the year's out. I'll be astounded if I don't have a pm from Nicola Sturgeon (**Nicola-Ghirl** or whatever her name is) before the end of the day.

Dude, you answered a rhetorical question.

I "panicked" :lol:.

PMS does not panic. 8)

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I was about an hour and 50 Livingston tonight. Left at 4.40, arrived at home at 6.30pm. Traffic was ridiculous at Falkirk and at the Clacks bridge. But after that, not too bad. Did you go through Dunfermline? Or take the B road to Kelty and down the M90 towards Kirkcaldy?

If I worked nearer Edinburgh I would certainly take public transport, but public transport to Livingston (I work in the centre) is rubbish for trains (both stations aren't near the centre) the bus is a maybe, but with my shift times I don't fancy being stranded either...

Can't believe a half an hour commute has become a 120 mile round trip. Christmas and bills to (not) pay. Pretty fecking grim.

Still, at least you've got that Buzzfeed article to compensate for all those evident failings of living in Fife.

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18 pages and I can't be arsed going through it. Who gives a f**k about the FRB. If I had my way I'd shut the Tay Bridge as well and build a wall along the Clackmannanshire and Perth & Kinross borders and keep the c***s in. It means they can go back to fucking each other again!

The fog on the forth hides Fife! Thank f**k

Aw, Gunther, that's not very nice. Merry Christmas to you anyway.

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18 pages and I can't be arsed going through it. Who gives a f**k about the FRB. If I had my way I'd shut the Tay Bridge as well and build a wall along the Clackmannanshire and Perth & Kinross borders and keep the c***s in. It means they can go back to fucking each other again!

The fog on the forth hides Fife! Thank f**k

^^^^^^honeymoon over and not getting his hole type post.

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18 pages and I can't be arsed going through it. Who gives a f**k about the FRB. If I had my way I'd shut the Tay Bridge as well and build a wall along the Clackmannanshire and Perth & Kinross borders and keep the c***s in. It means they can go back to fucking each other again!

The fog on the forth hides Fife! Thank f**k

I'm tempted to argue this point but it's just so refreshing to see you post about something other than your wife.

Good man :-D

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Anyone want to comment on the appropriate protocol on the Clack bridge heading south? It's down to one lane at the very end of the bridge but everyone appears to want to merge into the right hand lane before the lane closed warning signs even start. The first sign is 800 yards before the lane closes and this morning every other car was in the right hand lane before reaching that sign. That's half a fucking mile. I tootled along in the left hand lane until the merge point and must have passed about a hundred cars in the process before slipping effortlessly into the right lane before the left lane closed. On the one hand I was like "err, is this cool, am I taking the piss? I feel like I'm taking the piss ", :unsure2: but then on the other hand I was more like " toot toot, coming through " :lol:. On balance I feel that the latter position was justified but I'm open to comments, constructive, abusive or otherwise.
Dude, you answered a rhetorical question. I "panicked" :lol:. PMS does not panic. 8)
I don't think you know what a rhetorical question is. I helped you out with your query and you attempted to take the credit for it. Don't be ashamed to be taught new things - we all learn new lessons in life every day.If you want to pm me I can also advise you on how to control your panic attacks behind the wheel.
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Anyone want to comment on the appropriate protocol on the Clack bridge heading south? It's down to one lane at the very end of the bridge but everyone appears to want to merge into the right hand lane before the lane closed warning signs even start. The first sign is 800 yards before the lane closes and this morning every other car was in the right hand lane before reaching that sign. That's half a fucking mile.

I tootled along in the left hand lane until the merge point and must have passed about a hundred cars in the process before slipping effortlessly into the right lane before the left lane closed. On the one hand I was like "err, is this cool, am I taking the piss? I feel like I'm taking the piss ", :unsure2: but then on the other hand I was more like " toot toot, coming through " :lol:.

On balance I feel that the latter position was justified but I'm open to comments, constructive, abusive or otherwise.

Everyone moves over early in an attempt to keep the traffic flowing, or at least keep it crawling a little faster - loads of cars continuing to the cones in the left hand lane just snarles it up as they try to squeeze into the right hand lane at the last minute -annoys the utter f'ck out of me.

Mrs Ned tells me that on her way home yesterday she pulled out to the left hand lane to stop folk like you scooting past - got some angry looks but she didn't give a shit.

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Everyone moves over early in an attempt to keep the traffic flowing, or at least keep it crawling a little faster - loads of cars continuing to the cones in the left hand lane just snarles it up as they try to squeeze into the right hand lane at the last minute -annoys the utter f'ck out of me.

Mrs Ned tells me that on her way home yesterday she pulled out to the left hand lane to stop folk like you scooting past - got some angry looks but she didn't give a shit.

Heh, you're rather late to the party. See my later posts for the exciting conclusion to this tale. Needless to say I had the last laugh.

PMS: 2

Ned's wife and other drones: 0

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"Use both lanes": Not my words, the words of Traffic Scotland.

See when there's a big queue at the supermarket and they open an extra till? There's always folk that run from the back of the queue to be first at the new till. They're queue jumpers too and it's the same principle.

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See when there's a big queue at the supermarket and they open an extra till? There's always folk that run from the back of the queue to be first at the new till. They're queue jumpers too and it's the same principle.

I think the analogy works better when I'm the guy sauntering to the new checkout whilst the drones steadfastly refuse to move over for fear of looking gauche.

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