Arch Stanton Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 8 hours ago, Quentin Prankett said: Hmmm sounds like a made up story tbh Are you Welsh? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 I used to be addicted to swimming. I'm happy to say that I have been dry now for six months... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 If you're skydiving and your parachute jams, don't panic; you have the rest of your life to fix it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claudia Gentile Posted April 25 Share Posted April 25 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 25 Share Posted April 25 In 3,026 years, life will either be really good or really bad. It's 5050. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted April 25 Share Posted April 25 (edited) What did the Pirate say when he became an octogenarian? Spoiler Aye matey. Edited April 25 by Arch Stanton 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted April 25 Share Posted April 25 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted April 26 Share Posted April 26 Somehow I knew scottsdad had greenied that joke before I checked. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 I've won the annual 'best bullshitting' award twice this year. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tony Ferrino Posted April 30 Popular Post Share Posted April 30 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 On 27/04/2024 at 20:25, scottsdad said: Des brie. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claudia Gentile Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 (edited) Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun." So they went back to her place and got comfortable. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand." Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Okay." He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, 'Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......." "I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem luv." Cilla complies with the routine. The results this time are absolutely mind blowing. Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks. "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?" Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the f*cking bitch stole ma wallet. Edited May 2 by Arch Stanton 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greendot Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 1 hour ago, topcat(The most tip top) said: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greendot Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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