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Modern shite patter


Hampden Diehard

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3 hours ago, Bobby Skidmarks said:

 


Yer Da's handling the divorce well.

Usually accompanied by a picture of an older guy making an arse of himself. Funny the first two or three times.

 

 

That might've been the case for the Old Philpy and the New Philpy, but the New New Philpy definately won't be doing that anymore.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The increasing use on BBC Scotland of nouns as verbs, building on the shite Americanisation (and there's almost one there!) of English. Roads are queuing, films are premiering, etc etc.  Inanimate objects can't "do things" as my auld English teacher told me.

Anyone reporting on the golf can't help themselves but to refer to carding etc.

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People saying 'f**k up'.  Is this short for shut the f**k up?? I have no idea but it's awful.

People being described as 'a weapon' Is this a bad thing?? It's shite either way.

And finally people talking about 'the squad' when they mean them and their only two mates, usually never been on an actual squad in their life.

Edited by Torpar
Awful English
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People saying 'f**k up' is this short for shut the f**k up?? I have no idea but it's awful

People being described as 'a weapon' is this a bad thing?? It's shite either way

And finally people talking about 'the squad' when they mean them and their only two mates, usually never been on an actual squad in their life



Is this all one big sentence or what? Where are your full stops you madman?
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1 minute ago, SweeperDee said:

 


Is this all one big sentence or what? Where are your full stops you madman?

 

43 minutes ago, Torpar said:

People saying 'f**k up'.  Is this short for shut the f**k up?? I have no idea but it's awful.

People being described as 'a weapon' Is this a bad thing?? It's shite either way.

And finally people talking about 'the squad' when they mean them and their only two mates, usually never been on an actual squad in their life.

FTFY or should it be FTFU?

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2 hours ago, Hampden Diehard said:

The increasing use on BBC Scotland of nouns as verbs, building on the shite Americanisation (and there's almost one there!) of English. Roads are queuing, films are premiering, etc etc.  Inanimate objects can't "do things" as my auld English teacher told me.

Anyone reporting on the golf can't help themselves but to refer to carding etc.

I've heard it elsewhere but thankfully not yet on the BBC, but referring to athletes "medalling" at the Olympics. Really boils my piss. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 8/17/2016 at 15:17, Cardinal Richelieu said:

I've heard it elsewhere but thankfully not yet on the BBC, but referring to athletes "medalling" at the Olympics. Really boils my piss. 

Radio 5 live reporter on Sunday saying the Lewis Hamilton was "hoping to podium" in whatever Grand Prix was being held.  GTF.

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