Arabdownunder Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Sleep with one eye open so that fly's can't keep you awake by landing on your nose. Annoy internet pedant's by using unnecessary apostrophes 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 At the doctors, let people with poor sight know about the 'switch your mobile phone off' signs by keeping your phone on full volume, inevitably reminding them how annoying it is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Avoid becoming addicted to herion by taking loads of cocaine instead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Avoid spelling mistakes by not being a moron. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 (edited) Katy Perry, delight vast numbers of people by giving up singing and embarking on a career starring in pornographic movies Edited May 3, 2016 by Tom Rogic 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 After boiling an egg in a saucepan use the same water to make your tea/coffee, saving on water and electricity. Or put the egg in the kettle. Feel proud to do your bit to save the planet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believe The Hype Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Feeling depressed ? prescribe yourself a viewing of any Henrik Larsson DVD 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlion Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Enjoy the glamorous experience of a Portuguese holiday without the expense by accidentally overdosing your toddler and throwing her in the sea. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Learn to be an artist and 200 years after you die you will be worth a fortune. Genuine Tutankhamun artefacts do not have Made in Egypt stamped on the bottom. At the end of a meal in a snobby restaurant don't embarrass yourself by asking where the Dairylea triangles are when the cheese board comes round. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Attract much younger women by invading Sudetenland and attempting to wipe out an entire race of people. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mon Dieu Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Struggling to peel your potatoes? Can't get the skin off your satsumas? Let Magee speak to them and make their skins crawl away. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Attract much younger women by invading Sudetenland and attempting to wipe out an entire race of people. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Convince people that you're a complete and utter fucking simpleton by replacing phrases like "would have" and "should have" with "would of" and "should of". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlion Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Make your own Nigel Farage by teaching a frog to be racist. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Make your own Nigel Farage by teaching a frog to be racist. Racist. You cant call the French that now. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Racist. You cant call the French that now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a1974h Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Save on toilet roll by having a shite in the shower 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) If power washing your dirty backpacks in your garden, ensure that you have removed poorly sealed tubs of fluorescein powder which may be hidden away in one of the many pockets. For those unfamiliar with fluorescein, here is a river after I dropped a single spoonful in it: ... and wash it off pronto, otherwise you'll have orange hands for the next few days. Edited May 9, 2016 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Choking on an ice cube? Simply pour boiling water down your throat, and Hey Presto! you can breathe again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gfrhandyman Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) After boiling an egg in a saucepan use the same water to make your tea/coffee, saving on water and electricity. Or put the egg in the kettle. Feel proud to do your bit to save the planet. Excuse my ignorance but has anyone on P&B successfully boiled an egg in a kettle? Edited May 9, 2016 by gfrhandyman 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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