Bobby Skidmarks Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Teach people you only know through an internet forum a lesson by stalking them via Facebook and posting a girly rant when they don't invite you out for a drink even though they're in another country. Also, refer to the incident as #belfastgate 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Paedophiles, although abhorrent disgusting individuals, make excellent pool partners. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Troll thick supporters of a famous but debt ridden football club by pretending you are a multi millionaire but purchasing it instead with a loan based on future season ticket sales then secretly carve up its assets with a shady Yorkshireman -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Don't beat your wife. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 AVOID burdening your relatives with expensive funeral costs by living your entire life as a lonely bachelor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 AVOID burdening your relatives with expensive funeral costs by not dying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Pretend you're not gay by getting married and then talking about your wife all the time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Save money on Sky TV but hanging around your local chippy until a dodgy looking guys starts selling knock offs 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Drivers, are you skint? Make money by putting a "How's my driving" sticker on the back of your car and charging people money to phone a premium phone rate... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin_3110 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Make more money when selling your cocaine by cutting it with other cheaper bulk powders such as gypsum and benzocaine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Fool other drivers into thinking your car has a fault by putting the heating up full blast and winding the windows down. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Liven up ambassador's parties by placing one Ferrero Rocher made of Ex-Lax in with all the normal ones. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Been called out for posting shite on an internet forum? Simply state you are 'embarrassed when you look back at your old posts' and declare yourself to be a 'new you'. Before posting the same old shite as before. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) Impress trainer enthusiasts by posting pictures of your Lonsdale trainers in the Trainers thread. Edited May 2, 2016 by Sweaty Morph 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Angry Rangers Fans: Save money on expensive mobile phones by not throwing them at Magee. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Averagey Looking Cockteases: Get free drinks all night by talking to fat men eating wotsits in nightclubs then leave them to stew once you're steaming. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Members of The Red Hot Chilli Peppers Make sure people know you are from California by mentioning it in more of your songs. More clarity is required on this matter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Famous singers who have had a worldwide hit with a song about Marylin Monroe, stop wasting so much money on legal fees, everybody fucking knows anyway 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Jeremy Kyle Show guests Retain credibilty and negate results of failed lie detector tests by simply continuing to deny stealing your terminaly ill mothers jewellery and fucking your cousin Also try brushing your teeth before appearing on television 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Convince neighbours you have Jimmy Calderwood staying for Xmas by fishing your kids tangerine peelings from the bin and sellotaping them to your face before placing some cones on the front lawn. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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