Mortar Bored Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Avoid scary rides at Alton towers by having your legs amputated at the hips. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Prevent the general public thinking you are a complete fucking toss by not being Marti Pellow 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Avoid losing your driving job by not telling prospective employers you have a neurological condition. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Avoid losing your driving job by not telling prospective employers you have a neurological condition. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Avoid dementia by using the very successful home remed........ Now, where did I leave those onions... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Avoid losing your driving job by not telling prospective employers you have a neurological condition. Greenied when on laptop! Ha ha ha 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Convince people you have the brains of a stunned fish by voting NO in an independence referendum then for the SNP at subsequent Westminster and Holyrood elections 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 If you are applying to NASA, to go on the first manned mission to Mars :- get your punctuation and spelling wright or they won't take you seriously! .. and buy a hat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Abstain from sexual intercourse by being a geeky Lib Dem candidate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) Abstain from sexual intercourse by being a geeky Lib Dem candidate.Whatever do you mean?ETA- you could have just as easily framed it with "or P&Bs most influential poster" Edited May 2, 2016 by Mortar Bored 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddiemunster Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Francis Rossi, make sure you get good meal or six by cutting your gak with Smash instant mashed potato. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Lack of skidmarks in your pants? Throbber suddenly become interested here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Ladies, If you are embarrassed or upset at men who stare at your ample bosom and make suggestive comments, then avoid wearing low cut tops and bending over. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Try bringing old trainers to life by posting a pic of them on the Internet and asking people if they are worth keeping. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Ladies, avoid embarrassment in possible future sexual encounters by posting pics of your clunge on Facebook. banana likes this post. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Magee is thread cancer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) Avoid being labelled a Beast by a.) not pumping underagers. b.) talking about on a Scottish football internet forum. Edited May 2, 2016 by Bert Raccoon 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE KING Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Don't waste time by flicking through this thread looking for green dots. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) If you want to hook up with attractive women find a well known Celtic fan on Twitter (potentially a gas engineer) and from there locate his daughter. (Or wife) Edited May 2, 2016 by Dindeleux 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 If you want to hook up with attractive women find a well known Celtic fan on Twitter (potentially a gas engineer) and from there locate his daughter. (Or wife) I'm calling you out on this one! Unless by attractive, you mean black-eyed? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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