Dundee-FC92 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Alright. It's not my intention to spread fear or cause alarm to fellow Dees: Yet, i feel the need to perserve the safety and security of all who make the trip through to Perth on Saturday, 11th March. Furthermore, any away fan who has to travel to the murky depths of this inbred haven may take this advice aboard. There are four individuals who a'c**t must be wary of: please avoid the two pictured specimens at all costs - however if seen, dial the SSPCA escaped rodent department as a matter of urgency. As for the other two; no images have been released, but there are tell tale signs of their nasty presence. 1) TREE HOUSE TAM Tree House Tam is an angry old man. Old Tam can be seen lurking around pubs in a central location. After a few pints you'll easily recognise him: He'll begin with his tales of running with the Perth Pack in 1949. Tam became a season ticket holder at the dentist during this time as he'd get rattled weekly -also leaving him a tad missing upstairs. New teeth Tam is seen below: 2) THE GHOST OF JIM MORTON Very violent. 'Ghostie' travels down from the green hillous regions of the Kinnoul for the Dundee games. The pre-match Rabbit Broth and squirrel smoothie is etched to his filthy facial matter as the dungaree clad, banjo strummer, stomps into the Muirton Arena. The quintessential farmer who practises his yodelling techniques on unsuspecting wingers. 'Tear them apart' the ogre bellows as the rotund mass forgets he's not out fox hunting: 3) RANDOMGUY RandomGuy lures in unsuspecting members of the public with general chit- chat. Before you know it you're zonked out and he's off with your belongings. He hangs around the streets, often taking petitions on mundane subjects or warning folks of the dangers of everyday life. On Wednesday evening past, the specimen was reported to have seized the alcohol on the away bus to Ibrox, whilst shouting 'Not on my Nelly!'. He then raised one hand before reciting chapter 10, psalm 4, from the Bible, as the bus fell into deadly, shut-eyed, peace. 4) RADFORD Radford is the most dangerous specimen we have encountered. The man is known to fly off the handle at the slightest perturbment. Unfortunately, we have no image of Radford, but the scent of stale pish is evident, reports say. His temper tantrums lead to hundreds of knickers being hung out to dry per day. You'll smell him before you see him! Keyser Soakedbreifs goes unseen, but is feared from the depths of Muirton, to the heights of Ghosties Kinnoul peak. Extra vigilance with this one. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 NDD - refuses to watch the club he claims to support because they're losing games and hes a complete shitehawk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Saintee Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Fucking hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossDee01 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Are St Johnstone fans still trying to call this a derby? Anyway, if we don't win this one we should just fucking fold, they're shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Hopefully Nelms will be at this to discover how not to build a stadium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tree house tam Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Non deluded Dee At least we'll not have to avoid him as he's taken the huff with his football team. Utter welt of a human*. *very loose description. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevthedee Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Is it correct that the pub along from the ground is now closed,bar 208 think it was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Play Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 4-1 the mighty Dee. Tommy Wright will be too busy dreaming about Rangers to even notice the score! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeefc1783 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Alright. It's not my intention to spread fear or cause alarm to fellow Dees: Yet, i feel the need to perserve the safety and security of all who make the trip through to Perth on Saturday, 11th March. Furthermore, any away fan who has to travel to the murky depths of this inbred haven may take this advice aboard. There are four individuals who a'c**t must be wary of: please avoid the two pictured specimens at all costs - however if seen, dial the SSPCA escaped rodent department as a matter of urgency. As for the other two; no images have been released, but there are tell tale signs of their nasty presence. 1) TREE HOUSE TAM Tree House Tam is an angry old man. Old Tam can be seen lurking around pubs in a central location. After a few pints you'll easily recognise him: He'll begin with his tales of running with the Perth Pack in 1949. Tam became a season ticket holder at the dentist during this time as he'd get rattled weekly -also leaving him a tad missing upstairs. New teeth Tam is seen below: 2) THE GHOST OF JIM MORTON Very violent. 'Ghostie' travels down from the green hillous regions of the Kinnoul for the Dundee games. The pre-match Rabbit Broth and squirrel smoothie is etched to his filthy facial matter as the dungaree clad, banjo strummer, stomps into the Muirton Arena. The quintessential farmer who practises his yodelling techniques on unsuspecting wingers. 'Tear them apart' the ogre bellows as the rotund mass forgets he's not out fox hunting: 3) RANDOMGUY RandomGuy lures in unsuspecting members of the public with general chit- chat. Before you know it you're zonked out and he's off with your belongings. He hangs around the streets, often taking petitions on mundane subjects or warning folks of the dangers of everyday life. On Wednesday evening past, the specimen was reported to have seized the alcohol on the away bus to Ibrox, whilst shouting 'Not on my Nelly!'. He then raised one hand before reciting chapter 10, psalm 4, from the Bible, as the bus fell into deadly, shut-eyed, peace. 4) RADFORD Radford is the most dangerous specimen we have encountered. The man is known to fly off the handle at the slightest perturbment. Unfortunately, we have no image of Radford, but the scent of stale pish is evident, reports say. His temper tantrums lead to hundreds of knickers being hung out to dry per day. You'll smell him before you see him! Keyser Soakedbreifs goes unseen, but is feared from the depths of Muirton, to the heights of Ghosties Kinnoul peak. Extra vigilance with this one. Thank you. At least you won't have to worry about them, that's if you are true to your word in your tear stained rants this week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dundee-FC92 Posted March 4, 2017 Author Share Posted March 4, 2017 Just now, dundeefc1783 said: At least you won't have to worry about them, that's if you are true to your word in your tear stained rants this week. That is correct, i've said my piece on that. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Are St Johnstone fans still trying to call this a derby? Anyway, if we don't win this one we should just fucking fold, they're shite. What derby? The DABs are doon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 No derby with these cunters. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Play Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Quite right Biggie. Surely St Johnstone's derby is against Kinnoull JFC. Roughly the same size of support for both these clubs I believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tree house tam Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 5 minutes ago, Shadow Play said: Quite right Biggie. Surely St Johnstone's derby is against Kinnoull JFC. Roughly the same size of support for both these clubs I believe. No bad. Thought this would've been brought up further up the thread. Paying customers seven days a week > Paying customers every second Saturday. Dundee fc, Taysides wee club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 If we lose these fuckers will be unbearable at work.We're going to lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Saintee Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 All Dundee have to do is sit in and hit us on the counter attack. Or wait for the inevitable goal from a set piece/defensive error. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifespud Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 I'm expecting to lose but it would be a fantastic 3 points to win, just like any other 3 points to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossDee01 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 All Dundee have to do is sit in and hit us on the counter attack. Or wait for the inevitable goal from a set piece/defensive error. We'll attack you like rabies and you'll just have to fucking deal with it. Thank You. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Dundee should sack Hartley if they fail to win this, I genuinely cant remember the last time a bottom six side didnt win at McDiarmid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Saintee Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 12 minutes ago, RandomGuy. said: Dundee should sack Hartley if they fail to win this, I genuinely cant remember the last time a bottom six side didnt win at McDiarmid. Saints 3 Hamilton 0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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