throbber Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Don't hate me coz you ain't me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Just now, throbber said: Don't hate me coz you ain't me. I neither hate nor envy you throbber. Wear smelly joggers? That's not me. Pumping a chip-loving behemoth? That's not me. Own shite crockery? That's not me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 A guy is returning home from work when he remembers it's his girlfriend's birthday. He realises that he doesn't have a present for her. So in a panic he scans the street and sees a shop across the road with lots of flowers in the window. "The very thing" he thinks "I'll get her some flowers". So he goes into the shop. An old Jewish man comes from the back room and asks "Can I help you?" The guy says "I'd like to buy some flowers please" The Jewish man says "I'm sorry, we're not a florist" The guy says "Well, what sort of business is this?" The Jewish guy says "I'm a ritual circumcisionist" The guy says "But you've got lots of flowers in your window" And the Jewish guy says "Oi vey, what would else would you put in the window...." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamish's Passenger Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 A guy is returning home from work when he remembers it's his girlfriend's birthday. He realises that he doesn't have a present for her. So in a panic he scans the street and sees a shop across the road with lots of flowers in the window. "The very thing" he thinks "I'll get her some flowers". So he goes into the shop. An old Jewish man comes from the back room and asks "Can I help you?" The guy says "I'd like to buy some flowers please" The Jewish man says "I'm sorry, we're not a florist" The guy says "Well, what sort of business is this?" The Jewish guy says "I'm a ritual circumcisionist" The guy says "But you've got lots of flowers in your window" And the Jewish guy says "Oi vey, what would else would you put in the window...." I'll get your coat [emoji39] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 This rabbi is retiring and realises that he has hundreds of foreskins that he has accumulated over the years so he takes them to a tailor friend and asks if he can do anything with them, he's told to come back in a week. He goes in a week later and his friend hands him a small purse. "Wait a second", says the rabbi "I gave you hundreds of foreskins and this is all you made is something this small?" "Ah" says his tailor friend "but if you rub it it turns into a suitcase!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 I'll need to keep an eye on this thread - just the one, mind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I'd never thought about this before, but how the f**k can they remove the wrapper without causing damage to your todger? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tight minge Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Your mate tells the truth. It's fucking agony indeed as you'd expect. It is definitely 'fucking agony' and completely pointless. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Was thinking about joining the Police, and was reading through the requirements and it stated that you must not be circumcised.Thought this was very strange, until I realised you need to be a complete cock to be a copper. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 12 hours ago, LincolnHearts said: I'd never thought about this before, but how the f**k can they remove the wrapper without causing damage to your todger? Impossible. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 4 hours ago, Zen Archer said: Impossible. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I got it done in January. The first two weeks are absolutely agony, and god forbid you get 'excited', never had pain like it. You get strong as f**k painkillers though which are class. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I got it done in January. The first two weeks are absolutely agony, and god forbid you get 'excited', never had pain like it. You get strong as f**k painkillers though which are class. Why you get it done?Seems pretty pointless if you ask me.... unless of course it's giving u a problem 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 7 minutes ago, John Lambies Doos said: Why you get it done? Didn't you read the bit about the painkillers? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 6 minutes ago, John Lambies Doos said: Why you get it done? Seems pretty pointless if you ask me.... unless of course it's giving u a problem It was too tight so it was giving me a bit of grief aye. Certainly have no regrets over it and getting your hole isn't as much of an ordeal because you're not constantly worried that its going to get forced right back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 It was too tight so it was giving me a bit of grief aye. Certainly have no regrets over it and getting your hole isn't as much of an ordeal because you're not constantly worried that its going to get forced right back. Now all you have to worry about is the person on the receiving end laughing at your inadequately small penis. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Just now, throbber said: Now all you have to worry about is the person on the receiving end laughing at your inadequately small penis. I doubt that is likely to happen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I doubt that is likely to happen. You have seen his penis then i take it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 3 minutes ago, throbber said: You have seen his penis then i take it? No, but neither will anyone else. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 15 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: No, but neither will anyone else. Take it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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