Boghead ranter Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 (edited) 18 minutes ago, coprolite said: Always forgets to ask for one thing at the shops and times her call to ask me for it perfectly between me paying at the till and turning the ignition. At which point I always say that I'm nearly home, so too bad. Edited September 29, 2021 by Boghead ranter 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 1 hour ago, coprolite said: Always forgets to ask for one thing at the shops and times her call to ask me for it perfectly between me paying at the till and turning the ignition. Every fucking time. I now sit her down and ask here "DO YOU NEED ANYTHING FROM THE SHOP" before I leave the house. "DO NOT TEXT OR WHATSAPP ME AFTER IVE LEFT THE LIVING ROOM AS I NOT RESPOND" Just as Im leaving the checkout "oh can you get me liquorice allsorts and fags" "TOO FUCKING LATE" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aufc Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 1 hour ago, The Moonster said: At what point did you realise that doing all the shite she clearly can't be arsed doing is the worst possible way to get it up her? Was it here? Just wanted to prove a point. I reckon she thinks i go to work and its easy etc whereas her being at home is very hard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 1 minute ago, Aufc said: Just wanted to prove a point. I reckon she thinks i go to work and its easy etc whereas her being at home is very hard. If she's anything like my wife she knows fine well how much of an arseache working is and that's why she gets you to do it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 Every fucking time. I now sit her down and ask here "DO YOU NEED ANYTHING FROM THE SHOP" before I leave the house. "DO NOT TEXT OR WHATSAPP ME AFTER IVE LEFT THE LIVING ROOM AS I NOT RESPOND" Just as Im leaving the checkout "oh can you get me liquorice allsorts and fags" "TOO FUCKING LATE"Its nice that you have posted what you hope one day you will have the nerve to do... Gives you something to strive for apart from.... Cement and thatSent from my SM-G780G using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 18 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Every fucking time. I now sit her down and ask here "DO YOU NEED ANYTHING FROM THE SHOP" before I leave the house. "DO NOT TEXT OR WHATSAPP ME AFTER IVE LEFT THE LIVING ROOM AS I NOT RESPOND" Just as Im leaving the checkout "oh can you get me liquorice allsorts and fags" "TOO FUCKING LATE" She needs the art of a subtle guilt trip in there. "we need medicine for the children. Oh, and while you're in there, a bottle of cava." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 6 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Its nice that you have posted what you hope one day you will have the nerve to do... Gives you something to strive for apart from.... Cement and that Sent from my SM-G780G using Tapatalk You think I went back in an bought the sweeties? Ha ha ha Spoiler Of course I fucking did 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 3 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: You think I went back in an bought the sweeties? Ha ha ha Hide contents Of course I fucking did What about the Golden Virginia?* *no euph. Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 24 minutes ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said: What about the Golden Virginia?* *no euph. Thank you. She’s given up on roly ups since the supply chain of wood shavings from the Glens shop stopped a few years back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 f**k knows what she does with toilet roll but we go through more than a family of 10 and its just the two of us, kitchen roll aswell. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 5 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Every fucking time. I now sit her down and ask here "DO YOU NEED ANYTHING FROM THE SHOP" before I leave the house. "DO NOT TEXT OR WHATSAPP ME AFTER IVE LEFT THE LIVING ROOM AS I NOT RESPOND" Just as Im leaving the checkout "oh can you get me liquorice allsorts and fags" "TOO FUCKING LATE" Fags and now liquorice allsorts? If she takes a sudden liking to garlic too, take the hint. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 5 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: "oh can you get me liquorice allsorts and fags" What a combo! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 25 minutes ago, Busta Nut said: What a combo! She’s be better off buying these. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteRoseKillie Posted September 30, 2021 Share Posted September 30, 2021 13 hours ago, Empty It said: f**k knows what she does with toilet roll but we go through more than a family of 10 and its just the two of us, kitchen roll aswell. One of life's great mysteries. When I lived on my own, I'd get a two-pack of Andrex when I needed it - nowhere near every week*. Now, It comes in 24-packs, and easily once every three weeks. There's me, her, and one remaining Rosette at home. What the blue fúck are they doing with it?** *Aided, obviously, by my "shit when you're getting paid for it when possible" philosophy.*** **And yes, I realise that they need to use it for both types of ablutions, but not a fucking roll at a time, surely? *** Which is still extant. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted September 30, 2021 Share Posted September 30, 2021 48 minutes ago, WhiteRoseKillie said: One of life's great mysteries. When I lived on my own, I'd get a two-pack of Andrex when I needed it - nowhere near every week*. Now, It comes in 24-packs, and easily once every three weeks. There's me, her, and one remaining Rosette at home. What the blue fúck are they doing with it?** *Aided, obviously, by my "shit when you're getting paid for it when possible" philosophy.*** **And yes, I realise that they need to use it for both types of ablutions, but not a fucking roll at a time, surely? *** Which is still extant. Same here - me, wife, daughter.(Occasionally assorted small children.) The amount of times I go into the bathroom to discover a practically full roll has disappeared over the course of a day is mind boggling. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithie Posted September 30, 2021 Share Posted September 30, 2021 Wife normally takes the car to work as I'm predominantly working from home. On route home from her work she has to go via Morrisons so if we're low on some shopping I'll ask her to nip in on the way home from work. Several times in the past I've text her, she'll read it (but ignore it), and she'll come home with the "oh, I never seen the message" - which is female talk for "couldn't be bothered" and then it's me that ends up going out for the shopping. Anyway, she phoned me for a blether when about to leave work yesterday. Me and the bairn were leaving the house early to head to the football last night so asked her if she could grab something quick for tea rather than this Mindful Chef stuff she's addicted to but ultimately takes fucking forever to cook as she gets distracted by her phone. I'm banned from cooking (suits me - I do the dishes i.e. put everything in the dishwasher). "can you go to Morrisons on the way home and grab something quick for tea, me and the bairn are heading early to the football tonight mind" "....I'll come home first then I'll go back out and get something" "what? why? you're going passed Morrisons, what a waste of petrol to drive home for one of us to go back out again immediately" "yeah but I need a pee first" "well use the bog in Morrisons or the bog at your work" "oh no, I'm not pishing in a public toilet" Anyway she gets home, we were leaving in about an hour from her getting home. Telt the bairn slyly we'll dine out at the San Starko. Suited him as he knew he'd get a mars bar out of it. As suspected the wife gets home, sits in the bog for about 20 minutes browsing through her phone then potters about the house. f**k all toilet paper left after she's done whatever she's done in the bog. "right that's us away, see you when we're back" "wait?!?!? what about tea?" If anyone's seen the 50 Cent gif with Captain Picard in the backseat. Essentially mine and the bairns reaction when driving away. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted September 30, 2021 Share Posted September 30, 2021 18 hours ago, Empty It said: f**k knows what she does with toilet roll but we go through more than a family of 10 and its just the two of us, kitchen roll aswell. I've always imagined they chew it up to make a nest like that episode of the Xfiles when the guy can squeeze thru letterboxes and shit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted September 30, 2021 Share Posted September 30, 2021 3 hours ago, Raithie said: If anyone's seen the 50 Cent gif with Captain Picard in the backseat. Essentially mine and the bairns reaction when driving away. Any excuse to post this 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted September 30, 2021 Share Posted September 30, 2021 It's like this all the time 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted September 30, 2021 Share Posted September 30, 2021 On 27/09/2021 at 18:20, beesher said: Chucks stuff out from the fridge for absolutely no reason at all. Chucked a tub of Parmesan out last week despite it being in date, this week an unopened tub of Greek yoghurt. Does my nut in when I go to cook something and a couple of the ingredients are missing. You shouldn't be buying parmesan in tubs. I think she did you a favour. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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