velo army Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 10 minutes ago, dave258 said: Wait a minute, how come nobody has called out the fact you've got fucking mince pies on the go and it's only mid-October? Even Jesus doesn't take the piss celebrating his birthday this early mate. Or even worse, hasn't posted their review of said pehs on the mince pie thread. Shocking dereliction of duty. 5 hours ago, throbber said: Why do women put clean and folded clothes halfway up the stairs? If you’ve gone to the trouble of folding them and carrying them that far why not just go all the way upstairs instead of creating a trip hazard? Mater Army has always done this. Utterly mental behaviour. Actually she does this with anything that is in the living room and is surplus to requirements in her mental eyes. Reading a book and just nipped out for a pee? The book is now half way up the stairs. I dont even live there, so don't have a room up stairs. See also a paper open at the crossword I'm doing. She's a ridiculous woman. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 8 hours ago, Raithie said: invariably she'll throw my Hershey candy in the trash can. That's her way of showing that she loves you. Buy her some flowers ffs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 6 hours ago, dave258 said: Wait a minute, how come nobody has called out the fact you've got fucking mince pies on the go and it's only mid-October? Even Jesus doesn't take the piss celebrating his birthday this early mate. Mrs and daughter have been caning Christmas biscuit tins and mince pies for weeks now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 Wife had a few friends round yesterday whilst I was working from home, in total 5 adults and 5 kids. Almost all the mugs were used between them (fresh one per drink I assume) and chucked in dishwasher. The plates she decided to hand wash. Means I have had to use a random novelty mug this morning for my coffee and upon asking why the dishwasher wasn't put on... Oh there is plenty of space at the bottom. The bottom being for plates. I want to understand the logic, but I like my sanity more 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 (edited) We had friends round last night and I got pretty drunk. I can remember everyone leaving but nothing thereafter. Woke up in the middle of the night to go for a pish and discovered that my darling copine wasn't in bed. Worried, I search the house and find her sleeping in the spare bedroom. She's insistent that she's not moving, so, naturally, I'm terrified I've done something really bad in the half hour or so between our guests leaving and us going to bed. I go downstairs this morning and she's still upset, saying I was really mean to her. After much apologising we're back on speaking terms and I'm able to find out exactly what happened. I called her 'a poo and a pee'. Edited October 31, 2021 by Barry Ferguson's Hat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 2 hours ago, Barry Ferguson's Hat said: We had friends round last night and I got pretty drunk. I can remember everyone leaving but nothing thereafter. Woke up in the middle of the night to go for a pish and discovered that my darling copine wasn't in bed. Worried, I search the house and find her sleeping in the spare bedroom. She's insistent that she's not moving, so, naturally, I'm terrified I've done something really bad in the half hour or so between our guests leaving and us going to bed. I go downstairs this morning and she's still upset, saying I was really mean to her. After much apologising we're back on speaking terms and I'm able to find out exactly what happened. I called her 'a poo and a pee'. If you'd subbed out either of those words for "bobbins" you'd be fine imo. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorongil Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 My wife has a weird and hugely irritating practice involving pillows.I sleep on 2 ordinary pillows. She sleeps on two other pillows which are just awful. Your head sinks right into them. She also though has two auxiliary pillows for watching TV or using the laptop in bed. Ok. Ok… So that’s 4 in use. So I’ll come up to bed and see my pillows are missing. She’ll be on the laptop or computer. I’ll go to the en suite for a pish and brush my teeth. I’ll make my way to the bed and start to climb in. Still no sign of my pillows, but I know where they are. She’ll continue to watch TV or look at her phone or laptop. I want to lie down but I have no pillows. I then lose my ability to mask my seethe and begin to sigh and huff. “OH ALRIGHT, IT’S YOUR PRECIOUS PILLOWS AGAIN IS IT?” These will then be pulled from under her and her other 4 pillows and haughtily cast on the bed. She’ll then storm off to the bathroom in a huff to brush her own teeth. I’m now the bad guy, for wanting to lie down on pillows on my own bed, at bedtime. Rinse and repeat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 At least you’ve both got, what seems, a strong dental hygiene regime. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 35 minutes ago, Thorongil said: My wife has a weird and hugely irritating practice involving pillows.I sleep on 2 ordinary pillows. She sleeps on two other pillows which are just awful. Your head sinks right into them. She also though has two auxiliary pillows for watching TV or using the laptop in bed. Ok. Ok… So that’s 4 in use. So I’ll come up to bed and see my pillows are missing. She’ll be on the laptop or computer. I’ll go to the en suite for a pish and brush my teeth. I’ll make my way to the bed and start to climb in. Still no sign of my pillows, but I know where they are. She’ll continue to watch TV or look at her phone or laptop. I want to lie down but I have no pillows. I then lose my ability to mask my seethe and begin to sigh and huff. “OH ALRIGHT, IT’S YOUR PRECIOUS PILLOWS AGAIN IS IT?” These will then be pulled from under her and her other 4 pillows and haughtily cast on the bed. She’ll then storm off to the bathroom in a huff to brush her own teeth. I’m now the bad guy, for wanting to lie down on pillows on my own bed, at bedtime. Rinse and repeat. Just use your ability to form words and ask her for the fucking pillows. Infuriating things I do to myself for this pish. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorongil Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 1 hour ago, velo army said: Just use your ability to form words and ask her for the fucking pillows. Infuriating things I do to myself for this pish. I’ve don’t that before, of course. She huffs and puffs! For me it’s the sheer rudeness of ignoring the fact I’m literally getting into bed while she continues to just do what she is doing with my pillows tucked away under herself and 4 other pillows. I’ve also said before “you have 4 pillows, and you can have more pillows if you like, but can you please just leave these two where they are supposed to be?” makes no fucking difference. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 1 minute ago, Thorongil said: I’ve don’t that before, of course. She huffs and puffs! For me it’s the sheer rudeness of ignoring the fact I’m literally getting into bed while she continues to just do what she is doing with my pillows tucked away under herself and 4 other pillows. I’ve also said before “you have 4 pillows, and you can have more pillows if you like, but can you please just leave these two where they are supposed to be?” makes no fucking difference. She sounds pretty awful. Or at least inconsiderate. This being P and B I need to obviously first of all suggest you boot her firmly in the pie. If that doesn't work. Take one of your pillows (hers sound too soft) and press it firmly over her face when sleeping. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 23 minutes ago, Thorongil said: I’ve don’t that before, of course. She huffs and puffs! For me it’s the sheer rudeness of ignoring the fact I’m literally getting into bed while she continues to just do what she is doing with my pillows tucked away under herself and 4 other pillows. I’ve also said before “you have 4 pillows, and you can have more pillows if you like, but can you please just leave these two where they are supposed to be?” makes no fucking difference. Worth every penny. I'm single btw. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 29 minutes ago, Thorongil said: I’ve don’t that before, of course. She huffs and puffs! For me it’s the sheer rudeness of ignoring the fact I’m literally getting into bed while she continues to just do what she is doing with my pillows tucked away under herself and 4 other pillows. I’ve also said before “you have 4 pillows, and you can have more pillows if you like, but can you please just leave these two where they are supposed to be?” makes no fucking difference. You should sleep in a basket downstairs, who wears the troosers? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 6 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Worth every penny. I'm single btw. A/S/L? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strichener Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 25 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Worth every penny. I'm single btw. Is that a proposition? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 1 minute ago, strichener said: Is that a proposition? I was suggesting that throwing 10 pillows on his beloved's side of the bed might not be the best long term marital advice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strichener Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 Just now, welshbairn said: I was suggesting that throwing 10 pillows on his beloved's side of the bed might not be the best long term marital advice. How boring. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 I've now got "tears on my pillow" stuck In my head. Cheers you c***s. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 14 minutes ago, philpy said: I've now got "tears on my pillow" stuck In my head. Cheers you c***s. Thank me later. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorongil Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said: You should sleep in a basket downstairs, who wears the troosers? I have once or twice flounced off to the spare room. Showed her who’s boss and no mistake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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