chomp my root Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 On 21/10/2017 at 14:43, Jacksgranda said: FTFY Wasn't too bad, was hoping to be a dishevelled heap but I'll try harder next time. On 21/10/2017 at 14:45, Jacksgranda said: Unleash The Nade says you're already there... He'd be right, but for the wrong reasons. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Old dear is in front of me furiously stabbing at the door close button as the train approaches the station. She stops doing this as the train stops. I assume she has realised her two errors ie the doors won't open when the train is moving, particularly if your hitting the close button. The train is stationary, she now stares, motionless at the doors, a few seconds pass. I say to her "you'll need to press the button". No response, deaf as a stab. Time has moved on, people are behind me, the pressure is building, I need to act. I push past her and open the doors in the nick of time, avoiding us all going to Bathgate. What thanks do I get?..none. I seen her get in a car and start ranting at the driver and glaring at me for being so rude. I should get a medal. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 On 10/22/2017 at 16:50, JamesP_81 said: Standing room only Carlisle to Glasgow , stood in the vestibule with 6 other folk and luggage , c***s getting up from their seats and trying to push into the vestibule to get to the door before we're even thru Eglinton Street bridge . Sit back down you utter cretins ! I'm intrigued by your use of the word vestibule. I thought vestibules were what folk from Broughty Ferry called their lobby... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Angusfifer said: I'm intrigued by your use of the word vestibule. I thought vestibules were what folk from Broughty Ferry called their lobby... It's what the guard calls it over the tannoy. Though people from Airdrie think they're one of the things you're supposed to eat five portions a day. Edited October 28, 2017 by GordonD 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 4 minutes ago, GordonD said: It's what the guard calls it over the tannoy. Though people from Airdrie think they're one of the things you're supposed to eat five portions a day. I'm also intrigued by the word guard. What are they supposed to be guarding? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 10 minutes ago, Angusfifer said: I'm also intrigued by the word guard. What are they supposed to be guarding? No doubt they have some fancy job title these days, like 'Ticketing Services Assistant (which is what they have on the trams) but I can't keep up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Rush hour at Central I get to the huge queue for the barriers and see at the front an old woman looking for her ticket as the queue waits and builds up behind her, I switch queues as I can see where it's going, but follow the action. She then doesn't understand how the ticket works and tries swiping it on the smart card but repeatedly, for some reason the guy behind her doesn't help at all. Eventually finds the slot and puts the ticket in, gates open, and she thinks this is the time to then put her purse back in the handbag BEFORE moving through, so that as she starts to go through the gates close on her. Then decides this is the fault of the Scotrail boy at the gates rather than her own idiocy and starts going mental about how "for no reason the gates closed straight away" on her. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 I'm also intrigued by the word guard. What are they supposed to be guarding? Derrys walls. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Pissed up Old Firm fans. Close the thread. I can say for definite this can't be topped, though 'The Tartan Army' run them close. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 This more an idiot than a c**t.Train to Central from Kilwinning. Train has just left Paisley GS and next stop is Central.One idiot is already standing with one bag on shoulder and holding the handle of their suitcase.They are standing beside their now empty seat and it will be at least 10 mins till the train stops Just going through Hillington.Does she think this makes the journey quicker ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Does she think this makes the journey quicker ? It does make the journey go quicker. Have you never tried it? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 It does make the journey go quicker. Have you never tried it? NoWhat I do is get on at the back of the train and as we near my destination if I in a hurry run the the front carriage to speed my journey.Standing next to your empty seat is just daft by comparison 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 1 minute ago, MEADOWXI said: No What I do is get on at the back of the train and as we near my destination if I in a hurry run the the front carriage to speed my journey. Standing next to your empty seat is just daft by comparison I like to fall asleep on trains. I find that greatly increases the speed of my journey. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Would hardly call Carlisle to Glasgow long distance ! Heard the guard mention something about no reservations In my experience, the greatest train meltdowns occur on East Coast / Virgin trains when the electronic system fails (on a not too uncommon basis) and people can't understand why there might be someone else in the precious seat that will prevent them having to stand from Sheffield to Edinburgh. They should employ a violinist for some background music when folk start pulling out the 'why they deserve a seat more' sob stories. We should all take a moment to appreciate not just the old skool system, but the the Scotrail foot soldiers who undertake what must be the incredibly tedious task of placing bits of cardboard in all the seats. Great for working out which carriages to target for a seat as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 I have yet to encounter anyone on a train who I wouldn't kill. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Would hardly call Carlisle to Glasgow long distance ! Heard the guard mention something about no reservations anyway due to whatever reason , myself I was just wanting to be on the first train back home after being on my own one from 7 this morning . 2 hours and 20 mins if you use a Scotrail service. I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that's long distance. Certainly isn't a ride in the park if you need a pish and the toilet's fucked [emoji38] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 5 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: 2 hours and 20 mins if you use a Scotrail service. I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that's long distance. Certainly isn't a ride in the park if you need a pish and the toilet's fucked Why would anyone choose that train when the alternative is just over an hour? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Why would anyone choose that train when the alternative is just over an hour? Because certain members of the public are morons. It's normally quicker to get on that train to Dumfries anyway than it is going down to Carlisle and coming back up via there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 39 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said: I like to fall asleep on trains. I find that greatly increases the speed of my journey. Aye, but the journey back to the stop you should've got off at is bit of a bind. I panicked last night. I'd nodded off, probably just seconds, when I woke and looked out it was pitch black, this is usually a sign I'm well on my way to Edinburgh. On this occasion I was between Easterhouse and Blairhill. I instinctively jumped up, not sure why, it's not as if I could've gotten off. The train was just busy enough for this to be humiliating as I struggled to regain my composure. I got off a stop early to get a taxi home, rather than risk falling asleep again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 8 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Aye, but the journey back to the stop you should've got off at is bit of a bind. I am fortunate in that respect because most of my train journeys are from Ayr to Glasgow or vice versa and the train terminates at both. My tendency to fall asleep on buses carries much more risk because I live out in the middle of nowhere and buses are only every hour. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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