C**** on a Train

[Chicken Wing]

"C**** on a plane" thread for this pish.

Is Samuel L Jackson in that one too?

[welshbairn]

29 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

Ouch.

Oh and I bought a t shirt from a Jewish guy last weekend so that ends any anti semantic nonsense.

 

[banana]

4 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

Was on a train a while back where I had a reserved seat but someone was in it and the train was 90% empty so went and sat in another window seat. One of the stops a huge fat guy gets on and comes and sits in “his” reserved seat beside me despite the rest of the train being basically empty and him having the option of sitting in numerous places where he’d have two seats to himself as he requires. Sat for about 5 mins then asked to get out, took my stuff and sat in a different seat. Felt a bit of a dick as the guy clearly knew I was moving because he was a fat fucker and was crushing me against the wall, but at the same time why wouldn’t you just sit in a free row ffs.

Fat people should be banned from public transport, sick to death of getting my manly shoulders banged into by some landwhale's arse. Same goes for women and their shoulder bags and collection of shopping bags. A fat woman with said bags looking for a seat is like a Katamari tearing down the train aisle.

Maybe too harsh, so at least have non-fat, men only carriages/planes to give us some peace and civility.

Edited August 29, 2018 by banana

[Honest_Man#1]

1 hour ago, Bold Rover said:

Train operators to blame for this. Fatso wanted his booked seat because other people may board later with claims on the empty seats. Both scotrail and Virgin fail to mark reserved seats correctly leading to confrontations like yours.

If the train wasn’t 90% empty then that would be fair enough. But unless at the last remaining stop about 100 people boarded then there was no need. He also could sit in any seat and then if someone came on and wanted to sit there when it was getting busier, simply move across to his reserved seat. Absolute nonsense choosing to crush one of the few people in the entire carriage against the window when there are 50 free rows.

[accies1874]

People on trains who have incredibly loud phone calls, completely oblivious to where they are, are c***s. 

[pandarilla]

People on trains who have incredibly loud phone calls, completely oblivious to where they are, are c***s. 

You should write that up as a comedy sketch. Maybe make the loud guy have a giant phone. Id laugh at that.

[welshbairn]

54 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

If the train wasn’t 90% empty then that would be fair enough. But unless at the last remaining stop about 100 people boarded then there was no need. He also could sit in any seat and then if someone came on and wanted to sit there when it was getting busier, simply move across to his reserved seat. Absolute nonsense choosing to crush one of the few people in the entire carriage against the window when there are 50 free rows.

Next time be prepared with an empty can of Tennents Super on the fold down table. And don't wink at approaching lard arses.

[19QOS19]

People on trains who have incredibly loud phone calls, completely oblivious to where they are, are c***s. 

'Reported for racism' incoming but there is a Chinese woman who travels regularly down here and it's fucking ridiculous how loud she speaks. If you're incapable of speaking at a decent level don't do it in public ffs.

[Honest_Man#1]

2 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Next time be prepared with an empty can of Tennents Super on the fold down table. 

This I can do.

2 hours ago, welshbairn said:

And don't wink at approaching lard arses.

This I refuse not to do.

[MEADOWXI]

That phone setting where every press of a button or the screen is accompanied with a click. I may have to murder the girl opposite me that is obviously having a conversation by message and her phone is going CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK constantly. Just no need for it.

[hk blues]

13 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

If the train wasn’t 90% empty then that would be fair enough. But unless at the last remaining stop about 100 people boarded then there was no need. He also could sit in any seat and then if someone came on and wanted to sit there when it was getting busier, simply move across to his reserved seat. Absolute nonsense choosing to crush one of the few people in the entire carriage against the window when there are 50 free rows.

But by sod's law the 1 passenger who got on later would be the one who had a reserved seat and the lardass would be sitting in that seat.  The lardass would then have to move and would probably then want to sit in his original reserved seat, which by then would be occupied by the only other passenger who got on later - leading to an awkward situation.  You can see how these things can escalate.  Lardass did right IMO. 

[Bold Rover]

40 minutes ago, hk blues said:

But by sod's law the 1 passenger who got on later would be the one who had a reserved seat and the lardass would be sitting in that seat.  The lardass would then have to move and would probably then want to sit in his original reserved seat, which by then would be occupied by the only other passenger who got on later - leading to an awkward situation.  You can see how these things can escalate.  Lardass did right IMO. 

But this lococarnage could be prevented by the train company putting a wee "reserved" ticket in the slot at the seat. Or the fancy train company using the electronic signs correctly.

Football clubs could also heed this with their marking - correctly - seats reserved for season ticket holders.

[hk blues]

18 minutes ago, Bold Rover said:

But this lococarnage could be prevented by the train company putting a wee "reserved" ticket in the slot at the seat. Or the fancy train company using the electronic signs correctly.

Football clubs could also heed this with their marking - correctly - seats reserved for season ticket holders.

It'll never catch on!

[Benjamin_Nevis]

People on trains who have incredibly loud phone calls, completely oblivious to where they are, are c***s. 

Absolute arseholes. I was sat across from some posh middle aged c**t on the phone to her daughter's school, absolutely seething that she hadn't got the grades to get into Uni. I think I heard "That's absolutely unacceptable" at least half a dozen times.

[OSP]

On 8/29/2018 at 15:07, TheScarf said:

I trust you and the wife still sat in the seats?

Too fucking right.

[flyingscot]

Glad I don't do it regularly travel at rush hour, I'd have total commuter rage. People standing on the train, but I see a few seats, walk down, filled with jackets. bags etc. Attitude you get when you ask people to move them- there are luggage racks for a reason. Equally people who sit on the outside seat to keep the seat next to you free, I see your game too! 

 

[Boghead ranter]

1 hour ago, flyingscot said:

Glad I don't do it regularly travel at rush hour, I'd have total commuter rage. People standing on the train, but I see a few seats, walk down, filled with jackets. bags etc. Attitude you get when you ask people to move them- there are luggage racks for a reason. Equally people who sit on the outside seat to keep the seat next to you free, I see your game too! 

 

I like that, it makes it easier to jook the ticket dude.  Sitting in the inside = must've been  on for ages = I must've checked his ticket already = I don't need to ask him.

 

Sorry @19QOS19 .

Edited August 31, 2018 by Boghead ranter

[The Master]

I’m on an LNER service that’s rammed with students returning to St Andrews. 

The thread title is beautifully descriptive. 

And we’re now obviously going to be stuck at Leuchars while all the luggage is retrieved from all through the train and the power cars. 

The ones whose luggage is readily available have already retrieved it. For some of them, I don’t think the sum total of all my clothes and possessions would need this many cases, let alone all I would need to go to university for a few months. 

Edited September 9, 2018 by The Master

[Cardinal Richelieu]

Similarly, I was on the train between Luxembourg (I think) and Prague. Absolutely rammed and boiling, so inveigled my friend to sit in first class and pay whatever the difference was. 

After a couple of hours, the train conductor came round and demanded payment. If I remember correctly, the cost was £4 

(tried the same trick between Berlin and Amsterdam and got stung for £60 however!)

[The Master]

2 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Similarly, I was on the train between Luxembourg (I think) and Prague. Absolutely rammed and boiling, so inveigled my friend to sit in first class and pay whatever the difference was. 

After a couple of hours, the train conductor came round and demanded payment. If I remember correctly, the cost was £4 

(tried the same trick between Berlin and Amsterdam and got stung for £60 however!)

I’ve done that tomorrow because I need to go back to Edinburgh. 

Work paid for the original ticket so I was happy to pay the £19 to upgrade. LNER again so proper first class, not the slightly bigger seat and free shortbread and newspaper on ScotRail.