Work colleagues

[DA Baracus]

I'm one of those people who never puts anything in to a leaving collection, even for folk I like(d).

Just don't see the point. Same with birthdays or weddings.

I do, and have, contributed for collections for getting someone something for a bereavement, so I'm not totally a cold, emotionless automaton.

[V.Aye.R]

Maybe she thinks that asking numerous questions in the meeting is going to annoy people. To be fair it is a pain in the arse if you are in a meeting and someone is going through questions like there is no tomorrow, "and another thing". At least she is asking afterwards, opposed to not saying anything at all. 
Some folk aren't confident on the phone, just one of those things. As for speaking with suppliers etc, not a bad thing to do this via Teams or Outlook, at least then there is a visible trail in case something does go wrong. 

She's no gonae pump ye

[Benjamin_Nevis]

One time when a leaving collection was being taken in my office the envelope was just passed round each desk, there wasn't actually anybody going round with it. (I realise this might not have worked in some places but Edinburgh folk are honest.) You would tick off your name and write next to it how much you'd put in.
Well, it was nobody else's business how much I put in so I just put in the money, ticked my name off and passed it on. When it had done the full round the organiser came to me and said, "You haven't put down how much you've put in."
"So?" I replied.
"So how do I know the money is correct?"
I asked him, "What would you do if it wasn't? Who would you chase up? Are you going to ask everybody if they really put in a quid because the total is 50p short?"
There wasn't anything he could say to that.

One of my previous departments binned these fucking things after one raised a stunning £4.17 for someone who'd been there a year, then got another job. She was a total snob who barely spoke to anyone, ingeniously she emailed everyone to ask for cash rather than a leaving gift because she was getting married. She sent an absolute rant of an email to everyone after that and the whole tedious shitshow was binned.

Sadly my next workplace seemed to have a collection for something every fucking week.

[anotherchance]

8 hours ago, coprolite said:

A little mentioned perk of working from home is the ability to just delete emails about collections.  No more rummaging about in the desk for coppers and bottle tops as the envelope approaches. 

 

That and Euromillions collections.

Everyone puts in out of fear of being left in the office themselves based on the tiny chance that we win. We then invariably win about £25, we then put that on more lines and win zip all. Seems to be an excuse for some skiving b*****d to collect money instead of doing work, and to annoy people at the weekend.

[Sergeant Wilson]

8 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

I'm one of those people who never puts anything in to a leaving collection, even for folk I like(d).

Just don't see the point. Same with birthdays or weddings.

I do, and have, contributed for collections for getting someone something for a bereavement, so I'm not totally a cold, emotionless automaton.

They don't get anything either.

50p each from her pals at work isn't bringing wee Jean's husband back.

[steelmen]

We had one lassie who thanks to the civil service’s great maternity/sick leave policy managed to have a kid, take 6 months maternity leave followed by 5 months sick leave for ‘stress’ came back to work for 2 weeks before going off on 6 months maternity leave again. Of course those 2 weeks she basically sat with her feet up catching up with everyone.

They came round with an envelope for the collection for the second kid and most folk, except the arse kissers and her friends told them to bolt. Her best pal in the office actually tried to report the folk not giving for bullying. Thankfully the office manager took her in for a chat and suggested someone less sensitive take it round.

I’ve saw the names written on the envelope but having to write how much you put in can get in the sea. I would just start adding random zeros to people’s amounts.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Over the past year the serial work collectors have discovered the joy or e-cards and PayPal.

Ha ha silly b*****ds.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

8 hours ago, anotherchance said:

That and Euromillions collections.

Everyone puts in out of fear of being left in the office themselves based on the tiny chance that we win. We then invariably win about £25, we then put that on more lines and win zip all. Seems to be an excuse for some skiving b*****d to collect money instead of doing work, and to annoy people at the weekend.

One of my previous employers (small company) banned us from doing a work syndicate cos on the small chance we won the top prize, we'd have all resigned on the spot and the company would have been fucked. 

And on the subject of collections, quite why I should pay for someone else having unprotected sex is beyond me. The job I've had for the longest time I joined just after my 30th birthday. Having not got married, had any kids, or had a "big" birthday (but contributed hundreds of pounds to those who had), I eventually had to quit my job just to get a pay-out.

I went back 13 months later just in time for my 40th birthday and another pay-day. 

[Bairnardo]

"Good news everyone, Janice is going to a better paying job that she wont hate. Want to give her a tenner?"

[coprolite]

10 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

I'm not arguing with that. I'm querying whether you used to chuck bottle tops into a leaving collection?!

Not really no. But i'd like to. 

[Bairnardo]

One of my previous employers (small company) banned us from doing a work syndicate cos on the small chance we won the top prize, we'd have all resigned on the spot and the company would have been fucked. 
And on the subject of collections, quite why I should pay for someone else having unprotected sex is beyond me. The job I've had for the longest time I joined just after my 30th birthday. Having not got married, had any kids, or had a "big" birthday (but contributed hundreds of pounds to those who had), I eventually had to quit my job just to get a pay-out.
I went back 13 months later just in time for my 40th birthday and another pay-day. 

I had a standing arrangement with my old shift that if I won the lotto, all colleagues willing to resign on the spot would be given 300k.

Needless to say, I hated that particular employer with laser intensity.

[Honest Saints Fan]

28 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

One of my previous employers (small company) banned us from doing a work syndicate cos on the small chance we won the top prize, we'd have all resigned on the spot and the company would have been fucked. 

Your business can get insurance that would pay out if that happened. 

My work has constant collections, big birthdays, weddings, babies etc. I've managed to fit in a wedding, 2 children, a 30th birthday and cancer into my 9 years so have done quite well out of it!

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, steelmen said:

We had one lassie who thanks to the civil service’s great maternity/sick leave policy managed to have a kid, take 6 months maternity leave followed by 5 months sick leave for ‘stress’ came back to work for 2 weeks before going off on 6 months maternity leave again. Of course those 2 weeks she basically sat with her feet up catching up with everyone.

Can't have been that stressed if she got pregnant again during the five months.

On the subject of syndicates, one in my office--though a different department--got all six numbers up on the Lottery. Trouble was, there were so many of them in it that they only got a five-figure amount each. Not to be sniffed at, of course, but not enough to retire on.

[Rugster]

11 minutes ago, GordonD said:

Can't have been that stressed if she got pregnant again during the five months.

On the subject of syndicates, one in my office--though a different department--got all six numbers up on the Lottery. Trouble was, there were so many of them in it that they only got a five-figure amount each. Not to be sniffed at, of course, but not enough to retire on.

Same at a place I used to work at. All 6 numbers and I think they ended up with about 80 grand each. 

[Robin.Hood]

1 hour ago, Honest Saints Fan said:

Your business can get insurance that would pay out if that happened. 

My work has constant collections, big birthdays, weddings, babies etc. I've managed to fit in a wedding, 2 children, a 30th birthday and cancer into my 9 years so have done quite well out of it!

Working in a supermarket is shite for this. I need to start being a bigger c**t 

[Bell™]

2 hours ago, steelmen said:

We had one lassie who thanks to the civil service’s great maternity/sick leave policy managed to have a kid, take 6 months maternity leave followed by 5 months sick leave for ‘stress’ came back to work for 2 weeks before going off on 6 months maternity leave again. Of course those 2 weeks she basically sat with her feet up catching up with everyone.
 

lassie in my work many moons ago did near enough the same thing, with the added bonus of prior to carrying out the plan actually telling folk she was going to get pregnant, rip the c**t out of the no-questions-asked maternity sick-leave policy, take her maternity, then use up the annual leave she'd accrued over that period and then go on the sick again. She was back for a few weeks on reduced hours after her sick leave, then announced she was pregnant again and the cycle continued until she was caught for tax credits fraud and fired.

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, Rugster said:

Same at a place I used to work at. All 6 numbers and I think they ended up with about 80 grand each. 

Was this in Glasgow by any chance?

[thistledo]

I agree with the work collections being murder. The last actual office I had worked in had them regularly, some c**t you don't know is leaving another c**t you met two weeks ago is having a birthday, someone is returning to work, someone bought a new house. Honestly I've never seen the point of it. Any time I've left a place I've just left without a fuss, it's just a fucking job. 

Although, I did leave a well known distillery with a £100 Amazon voucher and a shit load of booze, bags of the stuff. Which is probably the best leaving present I've ever had. Really surprised me because in general I think I'm a bit of a dick.

[Guest bernardblack]

Never had to experience collections at work. Been lucky enough that the employers have been sound enough that the owner/directors dip into their own pocket for these sorts of things...probably claim it as an expense mind, but better than me paying a tenner a time!

[TheScarf]

Aye the collection for someone leaving is always a strange one.  As 99 times out of 100 the person is going to a better paid job.  £17.42 in an envelope isn't going to make a difference.