Work colleagues

[sureiknow]

Used to work with a guy called Harry, we called him Harry the Horse as he smelt like one.

Very nice guy though.

Sadly deceased.

Probably dosen't smell too well now right enough.

[eddiemunster]

I worked with a guy called Wullie Broon who wore a dinner suit to work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well a suit with dinner on it actually.

[D.A.F.C]

Worked with a jakey in a factory once. He would put vodka in a coke bottle mixed and come back from the toilet reeking of aftershave and eating polos.
I didn't catch onto it as I was 18 until someone walked past and shouted 'what's happenin the day ya jakeball'.
He would drive back and forward to work every day pissed. Got away with it for years. I wondered why he could b3 explaining a circuit diagram then could hardly hold a pen ten mins later.
He's one of the reasons i don't like drinking. So sad to see.
Guy just needed help.

[M0rtonfc]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

Worked with a jakey in a factory once. He would put vodka in a coke bottle mixed and come back from the toilet reeking of aftershave and eating polos.
I didn't catch onto it as I was 18 until someone walked past and shouted 'what's happenin the day ya jakeball'.
He would drive back and forward to work every day pissed. Got away with it for years. I wondered why he could b3 explaining a circuit diagram then could hardly hold a pen ten mins later.
He's one of the reasons i don't like drinking. So sad to see.
Guy just needed help.

Hawd eh bus, so you actually go and watch Dunfermline stone cold sober every week? If so then fair play to ye mate, I've went and watched Morton a few times without a few pints before hand, I can confirm that it was utterly horrendous.

Edited February 6, 2019 by M0rtonfc

[D.A.F.C]

Hawd eh bus, so you actually go and watch Dunfermline stone cold sober every week? If so then fair play to ye mate, I've went and watched Morton a few times without a few pints before hand, I can confirm that it was utterly horrendous.

Yep we are shite

[Skerla]

13 hours ago, M0rtonfc said:

 

By any chance did this person have long back hair in a ponytail and a black Metallica t-shirt of some sort on? We have a few of those smelly c***s at Cappielow

 

Randy Giles/DomDom/Principal Flute take your pick.

[Sergeant Wilson]

3 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

12 hours ago, Cerberus said:

The rule of thumb is that northern Indians are fine and southern Indians are arseholes.
 
If you meet an Indian who’s friendly and a decent laugh he’ll be from the north. If you meet an Indian who’s a p***k and rude as f**k he’ll be from the south.
 
This is generally accepted in India told to me by many Indians.
 

These guys must have been Sri Lankan then because they were total fannies.

Add them to your list.

[Bairnardo]

I can confirm that in the last six years I have formed the following evidence based assessments of Nationalities that I have worked with.

Nigerian : Lazy
Indian : Stubborn liars
French : Rude and arrogant
Dutch : Headstrong and racist
Italians : Rule breakers
Jocks : Thick
English : Racist
Chinese : Love the boaby
Welsh : Crabbit
Lithuanian : unknown
Irish : Jakies
Lebanese : Chancers
Romanians : Mental

*Each of these may be full and accurate descriptions of an entire race of people, or it might be a brief description of the individuals I knew who just happened to be from each of these countries. Apply sterotype at own risk

[Sergeant Wilson]

Just now, Bairnardo said:

I can confirm that in the last six years I have formed the following evidence based assessments of Nationalities that I have worked with.

Nigerian : Lazy
Indian : Stubborn liars
French : Rude and arrogant
Dutch : Headstrong and racist
Italians : Rule breakers
Jocks : Thick
English : Racist
Chinese : Love the boaby
Welsh : Crabbit
Lithuanian : unknown
Irish : Jakies
Lebanese : Chancers
Romanians : Mental

*Each of these may be full and accurate descriptions of an entire race of people, or it might be a brief description of the individuals I knew who just happened to be from each of these countries. Apply sterotype at own risk

Can you imagine trying to recruit in Dunfermline?

[Bairnardo]

Can you imagine trying to recruit in Dunfermline?

Nicola Sturgeon did, briefly.

She then built a second bridge.

[Jacksgranda]

12 hours ago, Cerberus said:

The rule of thumb is that northern Indians are fine and southern Indians are arseholes.

 

If you meet an Indian who’s friendly and a decent laugh he’ll be from the north. If you meet an Indian who’s a p***k and rude as f**k he’ll be from the south.

 

This is generally accepted in India told to me by many Indians.

 

"White man speak with forked tongue", imho

[Florentine_Pogen]

With regard to Chinese folks “loving the boaby “, can we assume that you reached this conclusion after a bi-sexual threesome in the stationery cupboard with two of your erstwhile Oriental colleagues ?
[emoji15]

[Bairnardo]

With regard to Chinese folks “loving the boaby “, can we assume that you reached this conclusion after a bi-sexual threesome in the stationery cupboard with two of your erstwhile Oriental colleagues ?
[emoji15]

Na, just this one lass who apprently was fond of the pipe. But thats enough for me to know that hundreds of millions of them are like that. After all, it would explain why theres so many no?

She wasnt much of a wid FYI, but she had strikingly nice feminine hands, much like Knightswood Bear.

[Dee Man]

Here's my racial sterotyping based on experiences of other nationalities I've worked with:

Scottish: moaning b*****ds.

English: loud, obnoxious and incorrectly think they're funny.

Welsh: cocky as f**k.

Irish: good guys.

Chinese: absolute nutters with no regard for their own safety.

Nepalese: best workers on the planet who try to do everything to minimise your workload despite it increasing their own no matter how many times you tell them to f**k off. Great guys. 

Filipinos: lazy

Indians: plod along happily doing whatever they're told.

Aussies: whinging, lazy b*****ds.

Kiwis: appear to harbour under the illusion that their apparently decent rugby team reflects personally on them. Good workers but full of themselves. 

These descriptions apply to every adult male of each nation mentioned, except Scotland, where I am the exception to the rule as I am a ray of fucking sunshine. 

ETA: Somalians: slow as f**k due to spending all shift chewing on khat and consequently being off their tits.

Edited February 6, 2019 by Dee Man

[TheScarf]

GLOVES!

[Guest Moomintroll]

GLOVES!

Oohbeedoo.

[ICTChris]

Of the two people I describe in that post I'd be amazed if at least one of them isn't dead.

[NJ2]

It’s teckle having a 125 page thread about how our colleagues are shite and now all the arsehole traits of other races while we’re sat here flawless. Sum bois (myself included)

[DA Baracus]

14 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

Did you not also make a sweeping generalisation about me? I find that racist.

Can I just say that if you find what I said offensive then I apologise. Please also understand that I will react badly to being accused of somehow bringing the treatment I got on myself and that I deserved it. I have carried on some of the anger and search for justice and work incredibly hard to prove myself every day and perhaps seeing others slack off has meant I’ve had a go at them in here. Obviously I’m not saying over a billion people are the same ffs.

What job do you do where you work 'incredibly hard' every day?

What's wrong with just doing your job?

[ICTChris]

3 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Of the two people I describe in that post I'd be amazed if at least one of them isn't dead.

I just found briefcase man on Facebook, no sign of Neil though.  I'd be surprised if he hasn't pegged it.

Briefcase Man likes a Cause on FB - "Sex offenders in prison shouldn't have Facebook".  wut