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We've recently ended up with a new boss who's gone power mad. I fully expect my next appraisal to take several hours, and consist of a list of every missed target, every piece of misfiled paperwork, every tea break that ran over by seconds, every disparaging social media post...oh shit.

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My boss is class at appraisals.

Boss: awright.
Me: awright.
Boss: job going ok?
Me: aye.
Boss: that's us finished for another year then.
Had a similar boss in my last job.

Me: Can I knock off early to get to the football?
Boss: Aye.. no problem... hope yous get fucked.

AN other: Can I get away early for a dentist appointment?
Boss: Let's see your appointment card... no card ... no getting away early [emoji1]

When Scotland played Brazil in the opening game for the 98 world cup ... they shut down the whole place at noon.
We were all paid for the rest of the day and our hourly production bonus was also averaged on what we had made that week.
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4 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

We've recently ended up with a new boss who's gone power mad. I fully expect my next appraisal to take several hours, and consist of a list of every missed target, every piece of misfiled paperwork, every tea break that ran over by seconds, every disparaging social media post...oh shit.

 

We have a new director and he's made it clear he only wants his own guys in. He wants an extensive network of gimps and micro-managers who he has personally vetted as being little bitches who will cover his fat ass at every turn so he can sit all day doing nothing while everyone else is busy.
He tries to piss off anyone who doesn't fit into this category (like me) so they leave.

Little does he know that I've worked for the NHS and can withstand a lot of shit.

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Our yearly appraisals are every November. It consists of doing an extensive eating system based on around a dozen general traits such as trust and value contribution. These take, if done properly, around an hour or longer each.

We send a request to around 10 of whom we perceive to be most relevantly closesly effected by our work.

It's a good system in a way, but it's extremely time consuming.

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4 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

Our yearly appraisals are every November. It consists of doing an extensive eating system based on around a dozen general traits such as trust and value contribution. These take, if done properly, around an hour or longer each.

We send a request to around 10 of whom we perceive to be most relevantly closesly effected by our work.

It's a good system in a way, but it's extremely time consuming.

I think appraisal systems can be effective when done as they are  meant to be ,  But, what you describe seems to be overkill and not a great use of time.  Especially when most employees look at the results and say "Bollocks , he's never liked me anyway" 

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8 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

Our yearly appraisals are every November. It consists of doing an extensive eating system based on around a dozen general traits such as trust and value contribution. These take, if done properly, around an hour or longer each.

We send a request to around 10 of whom we perceive to be most relevantly closesly effected by our work.

It's a good system in a way, but it's extremely time consuming.

Do you eat watches?

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13 hours ago, Cerberus said:

 

We have a new director and he's made it clear he only wants his own guys in. He wants an extensive network of gimps and micro-managers who he has personally vetted as being little bitches who will cover his fat ass at every turn so he can sit all day doing nothing while everyone else is busy.
He tries to piss off anyone who doesn't fit into this category (like me) so they leave.

Little does he know that I've worked for the NHS and can withstand a lot of shit.

Really surprising he wants guys in he can delegate to and trust as opposed to guys phoning it in as they are in the huff.

Edited by invergowrie arab
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19 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

My last appraisal criticism was that there's some paperwork I should be doing, and Head Office have complained that they haven't received any of it since I started. My response was that I'd never heard of this paperwork, had no idea where to find the forms I was supposed to be filling out, and would most likely have no idea what to put on them anyway as I hadn't received any of the training needed to do so. Heard nothing about it since then.

A former colleague and I once decided the easiest way to  complete our annual appraisals was for him to submit my one from the previous year and for me to submit his one from the previous year.

Worked a treat.

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I'm convinced the entire appraisal system at my place is designed to make some otherwise under-employed middle managers feel like they have a function.

As they don't tie into either pay or bonuses, there's very little need to continue putting much effort into the process, which most of the smarter people have twigged some time ago...it's only the real management dweebs who still make out like they're important.

Realistically we should only have to raise  one in cases where either someone's actively seeking internal promotion in order to give interviewers some insight into the person or alternatively in cases where they're failing in their job where one could be used as the basis of an improvement plan.

My suggestion that we do just that was met with complete horror.

You'd have thought I'd just suggested we start bumming seal pups.

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Two guys in the team behind me discussing what happened on Love Island last night. Two grown men.
The table I sit at in the canteen discuss it daily, also all grown men. I considered sitting in my car instead but I can't be arsed taking my boilersuit off every tea break.
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1 hour ago, IainMorton said:

Two guys in the team behind me discussing what happened on Love Island last night. Two grown men.

It's all the talk in my office today.  Great stuff, love getting involved in it.

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The same young boy I talk about on here frequently reminded me earlier of another cracker of his. He doesn't believe me you can get an All Day Breakfast in the afternoon. Apparently they stop making breakfast before lunch and there's "no way you can get an all day breakfast at 4pm"

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1 hour ago, Dele said:

The same young boy I talk about on here frequently reminded me earlier of another cracker of his. He doesn't believe me you can get an All Day Breakfast in the afternoon. Apparently they stop making breakfast before lunch and there's "no way you can get an all day breakfast at 4pm"

tell him to read through the all day breakfast option on the menu next time he's out at a cafe, im pretty sure they always have the exact times during which they'll serve an all day brekkie on there somewhere (which as you say can still be late into the afternoon)

a wee cafe near me will serve it anytime during opening hours but adds a £1 supplement after a certain time i think

Edited by Thistle_do_nicely
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