Work colleagues

[ICTChris]

He's back at it again.  The issue we were working on late last week has continued and he is desperately trying to fling it.  One of my colleagues will ge tlanded with it I think, he has basically taken over the work and is doing everyhing on it now.

He's a fucking weirdo as well.  We were talking about some work in our team chat tool the other day and he started randomly posting news stories and asking what I thought of them "as a father".  

[Stellaboz]

I'm beginning to think you're the Weirdo.

[UsedToGoToCentralPark]

He's back at it again.  The issue we were working on late last week has continued and he is desperately trying to fling it.  One of my colleagues will ge tlanded with it I think, he has basically taken over the work and is doing everyhing on it now.
He's a fucking weirdo as well.  We were talking about some work in our team chat tool the other day and he started randomly posting news stories and asking what I thought of them "as a father".  

Can you let me know where this is please. I absolutely have the skills required to work here. Early retirement whilst still in full time employment sounds good. In fact, I could probably remain at my current employer as well.

Seriously, get this guy formally reported and binned by HR.

[ICTChris]

Got to be honest, he's not going to last.  I'm fairly sure he's being performance managed.  

[Bairnardo]

Got to be honest, he's not going to last.  I'm fairly sure he's being performance managed.  

From what you have said, I am fairly sure he isn't

[Rugster]

13 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

54 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Got to be honest, he's not going to last.  I'm fairly sure he's being performance managed.  

From what you have said, I am fairly sure he isn't

Sounds like he's being given enough rope to hang himself.

[Bairnardo]

Sounds like he's being given enough rope to hang himself.

Na. He's the brains here. That much has become clear. Playing them all like fiddles.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, MixuFixit said:

you will not meet a more feckless person

I beg to differ.

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, ICTChris said:

Got to be honest, he's not going to last.  I'm fairly sure he's being performance managed.  

Word of warning: are there any TV cameras in your office? Because you might find out it's one of those Undercover Boss things and the guy is actually the CEO of the entire company, deliberately acting like a tosser to see how the rest of you react. You've ripped the pish out of the guy on here, which can only end badly for you.

[D.A.F.C]

Brad Bradson III CEO

[ICTChris]

1 hour ago, GordonD said:

Word of warning: are there any TV cameras in your office? Because you might find out it's one of those Undercover Boss things and the guy is actually the CEO of the entire company, deliberately acting like a tosser to see how the rest of you react. You've ripped the pish out of the guy on here, which can only end badly for you.

I am one billion percent sure that he isn't the CEO of the company.

[Miguel Sanchez]

I need some new ones. Anyone hiring?

[ICTChris]

1 minute ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I need some new ones. Anyone hiring?

What do you do?  Or more accurately, what can you give a decent impression of being able to do?

[Miguel Sanchez]

8 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

What do you do?  Or more accurately, what can you give a decent impression of being able to do?

I am degree educated, computer literate, reliable and a quick learner.

I can give a decent impression of someone permanently raging at the amount of additional work I have to do to compensate for others' failings.

Edited November 5, 2019 by Miguel Sanchez

[Dee Man]

1 hour ago, ICTChris said:

What do you do?  Or more accurately, what can you give a decent impression of being able to do?

I would like at least an interview as well. I think it would go like this:

Interviewer: What is your biggest weakness?

Me: Honesty. 

Interviewer: I don't think that's a weakness. 

Me: I don't give a f**k what you think. 

[Inanimate Carbon Rod]

The office building I work in has a new receptionist after the previous one retired after 20 years service.
This new guy annoys me.
This new guy enjoys puns in the building wide emails.  He started out very professional and fine but....well...these are his comments on the chain emails that he's forwarded this week.
First - he forwards on an email about mandatory fire training.

 
We regularly get offered daft perks such as complementary therapy.  Nobody goes.

Then this came in today and I don't even know where to begin. Subject matter isn't work related or of any importance and the puns?

Im really disappointed my attempts to brighten up the workplace have ‘backfired’ and this has had a severe impact on my ‘soul’. I only meant to have a laugh with my emails but i’ll be sure to just stick to the boring stuff. Fwiw Tom from IT said my emails made his day. But no more.

Matthew

[ICTChris]

There was a recent article somehwere about terrible job interviews.  In one they interview took place in a sandwich shop and, as part of the interview, the interviewers started misbehaving like children, throwing things at each other and running around.  Part of the interview was for the candidate to discipline them and make them behave.

I'd rather be unemployed tbh.

[Aufc]

There was a recent article somehwere about terrible job interviews.  In one they interview took place in a sandwich shop and, as part of the interview, the interviewers started misbehaving like children, throwing things at each other and running around.  Part of the interview was for the candidate to discipline them and make them behave.
I'd rather be unemployed tbh.

Would have been class if the interview picked up a CBLT and sconed it off the interviewers face

[DA Baracus]

2 hours ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said:

Im really disappointed my attempts to brighten up the workplace have ‘backfired’ and this has had a severe impact on my ‘soul’. I only meant to have a laugh with my emails but i’ll be sure to just stick to the boring stuff. Fwiw Tom from IT said my emails made his day. But no more.

Matthew

Tom's a knob and you're a fanny Matthew 

2 hours ago, ICTChris said:

There was a recent article somehwere about terrible job interviews.  In one they interview took place in a sandwich shop and, as part of the interview, the interviewers started misbehaving like children, throwing things at each other and running around.  Part of the interview was for the candidate to discipline them and make them behave.

I'd rather be unemployed tbh.

Some of the shit companies do as a hiring process is mental.

For a job stacking shelves in Asda I had to undergon a 3 stage process.

First was the online application form, which wasn't just details of past experience etc but also questions about you would be the 'ideal candidate' for the role etc.

Second was a group interview where you had to do shit like build a tower out of straws and do a sales pitch for a sponge.

Third was a one on one interview where they gave you the usual grilling, with such classics as 'describe a time when you gave great customer service'. 

Remember, this was all for a job stacking shelves.

And yes, I got. Quit after one shift though.

About a year before I worked for Iceland. I sent in my application (just a covering letter and CV, no tedious online form) and the store manager called me. We had a brief chat then he asked if could start in a couple of days. Straightforward as it should be.

[DA Baracus]

33 minutes ago, MixuFixit said:

Haha I had virtually the same thing for Asda about 25 years ago. Designing an advertising campaign for some washing powder in a group for a shelf stacking job. Mental.

It's insane and such a massive waste of time for everyone involved.