williemillersmoustache Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Some kind of pheromone triggered toilet seat raising/lowering device so that a) she stops moaning about thisb) I don't have to touch the toilet seat just because there's a splitarse in the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 I'd dive into a swimming pool of Space Raiders and eat my way out. How about one giant space raider? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 1 minute ago, D.A.F.C said: How about one giant space raider? Okay. Providing I can burrow into it like a caterpillar I'd go with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted July 24, 2017 Author Share Posted July 24, 2017 Deodorising shirts. I have just been on a train with some properly stinky b*****ds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Good shout. The guy who currently sits opposite me is a smelly b*****d. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 51 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Good shout. The guy who currently sits opposite me is a smelly b*****d. How is Stellaboz anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 How is Stellaboz anyway? Rancid apparently Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 44 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: How is Stellaboz anyway? He's fine I think. He isn't sitting opposite me. Indeed he doesn't work in the same city as me. Plus he doesn't smell. However the p***k opposite me does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 I can never be bothered drying myself after a shower. Someone should invent a thing that will dry me as the final part of a shower, or provide me with 4 naked Asian ladies to do the job. A Replicator like in Star Trek would be good. Someone should get off their ass and invent that. Lazy c***s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Sex pram. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Self cleaning fleshlight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Remote controlled DeLoreans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted July 24, 2017 Author Share Posted July 24, 2017 A television remote control which will automatically return to the arm of the couch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Sky tv minus the 600 shite channels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Venetian blinds that squirt ammonia into cat's eyes as soon as they approach them at 4:30 in the morning with the intention of clawing at them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Mobile phone chargers that give cats an electric shock when they attempt to chew through them at 4:31 in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Beds that set cats paws on fire when they try to scratch f**k out of the corner of the bed at 4:32 in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Carpets that turn to molten lava when the cat tries to claw it to pieces at 4:33 in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Some sort of chemical to be put in cat food that stops cats meowing at the top of their stupid fucking voices at 4:34 in the fucking morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Lawns that sense a passing dog's sphinter dilating and emit a terrifying wolf smell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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