Guest Moomintroll Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Yass! Mangoworms IMO 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Yass! I can be quite the arsehole at times but it is strangely therapuetic to see the relief that the wee doggie must feel when those minging fuckers get ejected. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 18 minutes ago, Busta Nut said: I have turned into a mad hypochondriac, convinced I am dying of something. You'll be right eventually. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 1 hour ago, LondonHMFC said: Couple weeks back went to the doctor as I had lost just under a stone in around 6 days. Eating habits hadn't changed too much, and I was exercising infrequently at best. I had the head practitioner, who asked me to 'piss on this stick'. The stick told him I didn't have diabetes, but it seemed my body had gone into a ketogenic state. His advice was to go home and eat pizza and doughnuts. A fortnight on and I'm close to losing two stone, so went back this morning. Different doctor who showed a lot more concern. Had to go to our local hospital for blood tests and a x-ray on my chest. He also wants to book me in for a endoscopy next week. Are they as bad as they seem. Daft question, but is it difficult to breathe whilst it's going on? Just get sedated and it's a piece of piss. If you don't get sedated it feels exactly as uncomfortable as you'd imagine it to be. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 f**k sake Moomin. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Just get sedated and it's a piece of piss. If you don't get sedated it feels exactly as uncomfortable as you'd imagine it to be. I was told that getting the sedation was pointless. I think I may have been lied to. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 1 minute ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said: I was told that getting the sedation was pointless. I think I may have been lied to. Too fucking true. "mild discomfort" they told me. That's why I don't believe NHS advice about covid19. They say that's "mild", your lung and brain will probably slowly melt and trickle out your arsehole. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Those mangoworms are fascinating, would love to know what the wee holes that they leave behind felt like. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Too fucking true. "mild discomfort" they told me. That's why I don't believe NHS advice about covid19. They say that's "mild", your lung and brain will probably slowly melt and trickle out your arsehole.Exactly what I got told. Didn’t want to scare the guy who was asking (hopefully he’ll just skip this post). It was like getting held down and a snake being forced down your throat. All the time they’re trying to suck the vomit out your mouth/throat with a Hoover. I still have nightmares about it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 1 minute ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said: Exactly what I got told. Didn’t want to scare the guy who was asking (hopefully he’ll just skip this post). It was like getting held down and a snake being forced down your throat. All the time they’re trying to suck the vomit out your mouth/throat with a Hoover. I still have nightmares about it. Better not mention the coloscopy then. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 5 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Better not mention the coloscopy then. They don't wash the camera you know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, Zen Archer Esq. said: They don't wash the camera you know. How do they see anything? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said: How do they see anything? They give it an occasional wipe on their pinney. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Just now, Zen Archer Esq. said: They give it an occasional wipe on their pinney. Between patients? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Between patients? It's better that way. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Those mangoworms are fascinating, would love to know what the wee holes that they leave behind felt like.Vicky, they're not going to shag you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Better not mention the coloscopy then.Nowhere near as bad. The only weird bit was watching the screen when it was taking a biopsy of my colon. That was weird. Still had a wee chug about it though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 50 minutes ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said: Exactly what I got told. Didn’t want to scare the guy who was asking (hopefully he’ll just skip this post). Unfortunately I did not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, LondonHMFC said: Unfortunately I did not. You might like it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said: your lung and brain will probably slowly melt and trickle out your arsehole. Getting me nostalgic for an Absinthe and Creme de Menthe there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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