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Toilet Graffitti (the best of)

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Inspired mostly by mathematics revalation that "someone" wrote "Arya Stark doing a jobby" repeatedly in his workplace trap, and also the fact that I find toilet graffitti pretty fucking hilarious... Give us the best work you have seen?


My favourite examples include the ever expanding crossword my mate used to seed by writing JOCK across the way then c***s downwards from the C. It always produces fireworks.


What have you seen, what are you prepared to admit to, what did "your mate" once do?

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When I was at university (late 90s, early 2000s) there was a toilet with some bizarre graffiti near one of the cafes. The two that I can still remember are "The English are an inherently arrogant nation. They tend to offend." which read like someone's introduction to a thesis on English colonialism or something. The others, right next to this one was a back and forth between (presumably) some Muslim and Christian Serbs about how fantastic/evil Arkan was.

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In the mid to late 90s in one of the bogs in the Physics dept at Glasgow Uni, someone asked people to write their synonyms for female genitalia. Within a couple of months the list went so low on the wall a second column was added. It was very funny and it was the first time I'd heard of a "bearded clam", which made me laugh out loud the first time I saw it.

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Early 80's when I worked at vet school. Cleaners had put up a notice above the trough in the bogs. "Please stop dropping cigarette douts in the toilet" Some bright spark wrote- because it makes them soggy and difficult to light.

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I found "Glasgow Area 5s - K Thacker" written on a cubicle in Stirling Uni about ten years ago.

I wrote "VL" under it.

Edited by Gaz
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Meadowbank Stadium Toilets. 

I think the state of Man United was beyond the ability of Edinburgh Leisure to fix... 

also dating from the days of Meadowbank Thistle was the following exchange: 

"I love Dumbarton"
"You are dumb"
"Arton isn't dumb!" 

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Does this emotional tribute to Hearts' famous 2012 Scottish Cup win count?



Strongly suggest that unless you're self employed you don't open that spoiler at work, btw.

Edited by JamieThomas
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The toilets in the cargo terminal at Glasgow Airport used to make for a good 10 minutes reading on a Tuesday night. Mostly ongoing slaggings between the drivers of rival haulage firms:

“Last time I shat here I had the wife’s knickers on”.

“You must be a Saints driver”.

“Last time you shat here your wife’s knickers were off”.

“Heard it was like chucking a match doon the Clyde Tunnel”.

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