Derry Alli Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 (edited) I've just figured out why wee plooky @Slenderman has followed me to here and is constantly trying to get my attention. I'll no shag you, mate. Maybe in a few years you'll have your own story to add to @Alert Mongoose's dossier. Edited November 9, 2019 by Dele 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 6 minutes ago, Dele said: I've just figured out why wee plooky @Slenderman has followed me to here and is constantly trying to get my attention. I'll no shag you, mate. Maybe in a few years you'll have your own story to add to @Alert Mongoose's dossier. Not even Sunday & Deeboy has a headsgone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 Not even Sunday & Deeboy has a headsgone.Maybe you 2 should get a wee side chat and stop polluting threads. You come across as a whiney wee bitch. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 33 minutes ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said: Maybe you 2 should get a wee side chat and stop polluting threads. You come across as a whiney wee bitch. Nice post. Still Deeboy hasn't denied being a racist homophone that got him banned & made a new account. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 If it was my 16 year old son that was missing overnight in a foreign country after he’d been partying with people in their 20’s I doubt the first thing I would think to do upon finding him safe and well would be to throw stones at him. What a bizarre story.It has the distinct smell of shite about it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 On 07/11/2019 at 15:11, Torpar said: As a teenager I took the approach with girls that rather than face the embarrassment of being knocked back I would just wait until any girls interested in me made the first move, unsurprisingly this tactic didn't work and I was still a massive virgin when my 18th birthday came. I'm sure nobody else here is familiar with this tactic I was far too old to admit (thankfully nowhere near Jimmy-Carr-at-26 old, but still), and my girlfriend at the time was terrified about losing her virginity, so it took a while to happen and was utterly awful when it did. She was completely convinced it'd be the worst pain imaginable, and to make matters worse, the condom split and I had to drag her to the clinic for the morning-after pill the next day, as she seemed set on ignoring the implications of getting knocked up while at university. She had a horrible reaction to the pill, so I took the next day off work to take care of her, as she was hundreds of miles from home and had nobody else - my boss was an absolute c**t about it and decided to arbitrarily kick me off the rota for the next week to teach me a lesson, so he got told to stick his job up his arse. She ended up cheating on me with a women, which I presume was part of the problem to begin with. So, sex - don't do it, kids. It only leads to problems; far better sticking to crying softly into your pillow while wanking into a sock. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 44 minutes ago, throbber said: If it was my 16 year old son that was missing overnight in a foreign country after he’d been partying with people in their 20’s I doubt the first thing I would think to do upon finding him safe and well would be to throw stones at him. What a bizarre story. The type of story you’d expect from a guy who hoses down men in the shower. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 4 hours ago, Chicken Wing said: 8 hours ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said: Why was your dad out at 5am? Obviously out looking for a ride as he'd heard there was 2 lassies from Surrey gagging for it! Or a young Scottish lad.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 1 hour ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: The type of story you’d expect from a guy who hoses down men in the shower. ...without a modicum of self-awareness and can't even imagine a story that might be based on reality. God help anyone close to him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 If this was a 20 year old guy with a 16 year old girl everyone would be shouting beast but when the genders are reversed no one gives a second glance. Also definitely never happened anyway. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugna Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 12 hours ago, Ingo ohne Flamingo said: I was probably shite not having a clue what I was doing except going for it like the home straight in the 400m . Unlike the approach of the vinegar stroke, you markedly slow down in the home straight of the 400m. You'd know that if you had ever actually had sex run 400m. Spoiler You also feel like crying, so you guessed that part right. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 2 hours ago, Empty It said: If this was a 20 year old guy with a 16 year old girl everyone would be shouting beast but when the genders are reversed no one gives a second glance. Also definitely never happened anyway. Apart from his dad, obviously. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 13 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said: ...without a modicum of self-awareness and can't even imagine a story that might be based on reality. God help anyone close to him. I remember seeing Gunther at Borough Briggs a few years back when Clyde were playing Elgin in the play offs. I did not approach him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 Just remember what the late, great Christopher Wallace said all those years ago - " I don't give a bitch enough to catch the bus, and when I see the semen I'm leaving." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 10 minutes ago, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said: Just remember what the late, great Christopher Wallace said all those years ago - " I don't give a bitch enough to catch the bus, and when I see the semen I'm leaving." Think I’ll use that in my next wedding speech. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 Would you not need to get divorced first? Or is that on the cards? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 7 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Think I’ll use that in my next wedding speech. You've upset the odds getting married once. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 59 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: You've upset the odds getting married once. She’s been called a few things down the years but “the odds” is a new one. I’ll try it out later. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ylf Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 virgin ton one day. one day [emoji23] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 3 hours ago, Jacksgranda said: Would you not need to get divorced first? Or is that on the cards? Maybe mellanius is a fundamental Mormon. No, wait, there seems to be a superfluous M there.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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