Guest JTS98 Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 Think I've mentioned this before (I bore everyone to tears with it) but I was booked on MH17 but my travel plans changed when my Malaysian visa was delayed. I was sitting in my mum's kitchen eating beans on toast when I heard the news that a plane had been shot down on the radio. Soon after it emerged where it had left from and where it was going and it was my flight. Me and my mum had not long before been talking about how that was the day I was supposed to have moved. I am invincible. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 12 hours ago, johnnydun said: Following on from Kuro's potentially libellous bullshit. Have any P&Ber's a true story that nobody would likely believe? Threads like this make me miss Dindeleux. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 2 hours ago, coprolite said: Shoplifting isn't a job In fairness, I'd be a terrible careers advisor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 2 hours ago, coprolite said: Shoplifting isn't a job I once shoplifted International Match Day (ZX Spectrum) from Comet in Elgin, 2 days before Christmas. Got to Christmas morning and Santa had got it for me. Awkward. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 9 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I once shoplifted International Match Day (ZX Spectrum) from Comet in Elgin, 2 days before Christmas. Got to Christmas morning and Santa had got it for me. Awkward. ^^^ 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 2 hours ago, JTS98 said: Think I've mentioned this before (I bore everyone to tears with it) but I was booked on MH17 but my travel plans changed when my Malaysian visa was delayed. I was sitting in my mum's kitchen eating beans on toast when I heard the news that a plane had been shot down on the radio. Soon after it emerged where it had left from and where it was going and it was my flight. Me and my mum had not long before been talking about how that was the day I was supposed to have moved. I am invincible. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 When I was in the scouts, I took part in a guard of honour royal Fergie at a local hospice. We'd been told the correct terms of address to her if she happened to ask us anything but it ended up going out the window. She was inside for about 30-45 minutes while we were standing outside in the pishing rain the whole time. When she eventually emerged, everyone was freezing. She was walking up the line and stopped to ask me if I was cold and I replied "Aye, gonnae hurry up." Tbf she did. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 7 hours ago, nsr said: I met an OF fan with a job once. Did he say, Erra sports socks 3 fur a pound? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 6 hours ago, LincolnHearts said: Threads like this make me miss Dindeleux. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 My dad was driving us to Thirsk in Yorkshire, we were staying with relatives near there on a break.He was telling this story about a pub near a roundabout nearby where some guy had died and anyone who sat in his seat in the pub was topped off inexplicably.We were approaching the roundabout and the car brakes failed, I actually saw my dad push his foot all the way down to no effect. Thankfully they worked just in time for us to navigate said roundabout but were lucky there was no traffic coming round it or we'd have smashed into them.Was frightening as f**k especially at about 9 years old. Brakes never failed once after that. But he didn't sit on the pub seat? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 4 hours ago, microdave said: When I was in the scouts, I took part in a guard of honour royal Fergie at a local hospice. We'd been told the correct terms of address to her if she happened to ask us anything but it ended up going out the window. She was inside for about 30-45 minutes while we were standing outside in the pishing rain the whole time. When she eventually emerged, everyone was freezing. She was walking up the line and stopped to ask me if I was cold and I replied "Aye, gonnae hurry up." Presumably she replied "no sweat" - or at least her husband would have said that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 I played a gig with Liberty X in attendance once. Michelle McManus was at one of my gigs too. Don't think Steve Brookstein ever saw me play though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 (edited) 23 hours ago, johnnydun said: Following on from Kuro's potentially libellous bullshit. Have any P&Ber's a true story that nobody would likely believe? Aye. Loads tbh 20 hours ago, CowdenLoyal said: I've nutmegged Paul McStay. I haven't, however, shagged Hayden Panettiere. I’ve nutmegged Davie Weir. He basically assaulted me afterwards. I’ve played against Gary Naismith, Steven and Gary Caldwell. I’ve also played with Mark Burchill and assisted him a goal. I also played with and against Chris McGroarty that played with Dunfermline. He has the worst B.O I’ve ever had the misfortune to have smelt. ETA: Away from football, the late great showbiz legend and celebrity Bo’ness fan Bruce Forsyth once bought me a can of juice, some crisps and gave me money. No shagging was involved. Edited November 21, 2019 by 8MileBU 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted November 21, 2019 Author Share Posted November 21, 2019 1 minute ago, 8MileBU said: Aye. Loads tbh. I’ve nutmegged Davie Weir. He basically assaulted me afterwards. I’ve played against Gary Naismith, Steven and Gary Caldwell. I’ve also played with Mark Burchill and assisted him a goal. I also played with and against Chris McGroarty that played with Dunfermline. He has the worst B.O I’ve ever had the misfortune to have smelt. I played against Doug Rougvie and John Hewit once, they were in their 40's at the time. I was playing up front and Rougvie was centre half, he is one big bassa. Easier to get past than @Melanius Mullarkey. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 I'm a quite unremarkable, overweight, hairy fella who somehow has managed to be married twice and have three kids.I sh|t you f@cking not.#shagger 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 Neale Cooper once offered to pay my ex wife her weeks wages if she would bunk off her work for the day and spend the night with him. Guess my knob was bigger... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 2 hours ago, John Lambies Doos said: 16 hours ago, Stellaboz said: My dad was driving us to Thirsk in Yorkshire, we were staying with relatives near there on a break. He was telling this story about a pub near a roundabout nearby where some guy had died and anyone who sat in his seat in the pub was topped off inexplicably. We were approaching the roundabout and the car brakes failed, I actually saw my dad push his foot all the way down to no effect. Thankfully they worked just in time for us to navigate said roundabout but were lucky there was no traffic coming round it or we'd have smashed into them. Was frightening as f**k especially at about 9 years old. Brakes never failed once after that. But he didn't sit on the pub seat? He’s probably been on the pub seat all afternoon and was driving home. It was the accelerator he was actually pressing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 1 hour ago, johnnydun said: I played against Doug Rougvie and John Hewit once, they were in their 40's at the time. I was playing up front and Rougvie was centre half, he is one big bassa. Easier to get past than @Melanius Mullarkey. Rougvie is marginally better looking that me though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 2 hours ago, 8MileBU said: ETA: Away from football, the late great showbiz legend and celebrity Bo’ness fan Bruce Forsyth once bought me a can of juice, some crisps and gave me money. No shagging was involved. The same man once pushed me to the ground when I asked for his autograph right after he'd been refused entry to the clubhouse at Royal Birkdale during the British Open. I would've been about 14. Also, no shagging was involved. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 Neale Cooper once offered to pay my ex wife her weeks wages if she would bunk off her work for the day and spend the night with him. Guess my knob was bigger...Insheepcent Proposal. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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