doulikefish Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 My missus just back from the asda in kirkcaldy after picking up her prescription and says the toilet roll aisle was empty 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 13 minutes ago, johnnydun said: Fun fact. I was on that and Phil McKay allowed me to milk a cow blindfolded. FTFY 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Sad to see Poor Tommy reduced to buying out Spanish toilet paper to flog on Ebay. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: FTFY I didn't have to milk a cow, but he asked to touch me so I could star in the advert for it. Fuckin advert was only on twice. I feel robbed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Remember if your are going out tonight 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 36 minutes ago, johnnydun said: Fun fact. I was on that, stuck my heid in a bowl of custard for an apple and 3 points! I was relegated to waving my Harris tie in the background like a dick. Only got a peck on the lips of Phil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 54 minutes ago, renton said: Was there a couple of times playing in their Uni's daft summer football tournament. Seemed a nice enough campus. Town was fairly non descript to me. Only been there and Amsterdam in the Netherlands, but the two things that stuck with me on all those trips is that 1. Their beer is shit and 2. They really can't cook to save themselves. Their munchie cuisine is superb, chips with peanut sauce, croquettes, and custard delivered to your door for an early breakfast can't be beaten. WTF the point of a third of a pint is, is beyond me though. They've started doing it in Inverness now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 1 hour ago, Boghead ranter said: She is delicious. She could be the silver lining to my COVID cloud. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red23 Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Tesco, Sainsburys and Morrisons issue joint plea: PLEASE DO NOT PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC BUY!!!!! OUR SHELVES ARE EMPTYING FAST!!!!!! BUT ANOTHER PANIC BUYING SESSION IS ABSOLUTELY NOT WHAT OUR PROFITS NEED!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallo Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 1 hour ago, Boghead ranter said: She is delicious. What a choice of word 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 3 minutes ago, Marshmallo said: What a choice of word Wrong pronoun? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 21 hours ago, Wee Willie said: Any vets care tae diagnose me? I mean the animal kind and no the sodjers . The soldier would be asked "Are you sure he's dead?". Sound of loud BANG. "He is now, sarge." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 5 hours ago, Gaz said: I was 24 when I went to Uni so a lot smarter and more responsible when I was when I was 17. Your power seems to be reversing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 48 minutes ago, welshbairn said: WTF the point of a third of a pint is, is beyond me though. They've started doing it in Inverness now. One of the greatest (if not the greatest) novelty on the continent is the litre glass of beer. ... especially when it's a litre of Urquell for 50p. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/breaking-manchester-metropolitan-university-halls-19000596.amp?__twitter_impression=true 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Aldo Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 I'm ashamed to say I wasn't that far from being like Homer Simpson when he went to college.Did you roll a pig up in a carpet and throw it off a bridge? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 1 minute ago, Ron Aldo said: 2 hours ago, welshbairn said: I'm ashamed to say I wasn't that far from being like Homer Simpson when he went to college. Did you roll a pig up in a carpet and throw it off a bridge? Pumped a bird with a blue rinse imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Ron Aldo said: 2 hours ago, welshbairn said: I'm ashamed to say I wasn't that far from being like Homer Simpson when he went to college. Did you roll a pig up in a carpet and throw it off a bridge? Roll it? I fucked it! Sorry, just having a David Cameron moment... Edited September 25, 2020 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lofarl Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Thats my Uncle got Covid. He works as a janitor in a school but I am sure that he must have caught it elswhere. There's no way he could have possibly caught it in a place where hundreds of people gather on a daily basis. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wee Willie Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said: The soldier would be asked "Are you sure he's dead?". Sound of loud BANG. "He is now, sarge." and the animal vet would say, "Whaur dae I stick the thermometer?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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