How pish are Barcelona?

[Carnoustie Young Guvnor]

Holy f**k.

And how would you fix it?

Huge debts, massive wage bill, ageing superstars on astronomical wages, need to redevelop the biggest stadium in Europe and surrounding area costing a billion Euros, just lost bare minimum 200 million Euros due to Covid with more to come, a club with such large attendances will be hardest hit with no crowds too. 

What would you do?  Who would you sign, who would you let go, what prices would you be hoping to get for players, and how would you phase a rebuild?

You have zero to spend, can only spend what you raise on transfers preferably slightly less, must reduce the wage bill, bring down the age of the squad, increase the depth of the squad, improve the balance, and increase the quality and energy.  And put a team on the park capable of winning the CL next season, which starts in about three weeks lol.

Who do you appoint and how do you go about it?

[Arthur Orton]

I'd go manager of Madrid and Atleti, sign shite Barca players for around 250 million, take their best players for 50 quid.  If that didn't work I'd play in a different league 

Problem solved.

Next.

[Steven W]

I'd start with dropping the bizarre goal kick routine

[Carnoustie Young Guvnor]

Appoint Koeman.  

Approach Man City, offer to swap Semedo for Cancelo and Eric Garcia.  Two in one out wage bill slightly up.

Ask them if they want Busquets, if not sell him to any c**t that will have him, maybe 20 million.

Same with Pique, about the same price.

Sell Suarez to Inter Miami for 10 million.

Huge amount off the wage bill with those three.

Sell Vidal and Firpo to Inter for 30 million.

Sell Rakitic to Everton for 15 million.

Sell Rafinha for 10 million.

Sell Braithwaite for 10 at a push.

Sell Coutinho for hopefully 60.

Approach Arsenal offer to swap Griezmann for Aubaumeyang and Guendouzi.

Sell Toubido for 25 and Wague for 15, Umtiti for 20 if anyone will give you it.

With the Pjanic and Arthur deal done and 10 million profit from that that's 245 million in profit roughly, and the wage bill reduced dramatically.   Five in fifteen out so far.  Though four of those fifteen were out on loan last season.

Buy Lautauro Martinez for 110. Tagliafico for 30. Umpecano for 50.  Probably enough left for one or two more signings and one or two decent free transfers.

With Puig and Fati ready to play a bigger role next season you could probably get away with something like that, also signing up a couple of the top kids around and they would be looking a lot better.

But no chance you could do all that in one summer especially this one. They're basically fucked.

[jamamafegan]

They're basically fucked.

Excellent

[Derry Alli]

Why would Barcelona want to buy Guendouzi?

[Carnoustie Young Guvnor]

10 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

Why would Barcelona want to buy Guendouzi?

Cause he can run about and kick people and they could do with a bit of that. You don't think that would have helped last night?

[Sergeant Wilson]

11 minutes ago, Carnoustie Young Guvnor said:

Cause he can run about and kick people and they could do with a bit of that. You don't think that would have helped last night?

Next need to be close enough to the player and ball.

Bayern were exceptional and are a team in the ascendancy. Barcelona were hopeless and are at the bottom of their cycle. I doubt anyone would have been that effective against them last night.

[RiG]

Barcelona's recruitment over the last few season has been honking. Almost as bad AC Milan trying to rebuild their size in years gone by.

[Derry Alli]

21 minutes ago, Carnoustie Young Guvnor said:

Cause he can run about and kick people and they could do with a bit of that. You don't think that would have helped last night?

I thought the topic was about a rebuild and not 'what was needed last night'? 

[Carnoustie Young Guvnor]

3 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I thought the topic was about a rebuild and not 'what was needed last night'? 

Well part of their rebuild will include playing more games in the future

[Comrie]

Barca need to do what Germany did when they were the absolute shits. A complete rethink from top to bottom and maybe have a few years in league and European wilderness to get it sorted. They won't, because of the combination of internal club politics and money from the CL that keeps them just about afloat.

Their whole "we defend and press from the front" gets taken to pieces once teams just bypass the midfield with quicker passing/a slightly more direct approach that means their midfield and wingers running around like idiots means nothing.

[Derry Alli]

Just now, Carnoustie Young Guvnor said:

Well part of their rebuild will include playing more games in the future

Correct - and where does a player of the calibre of Matteo Guendouzi fit in to that? 

Do you, personally, think that he is a player the likes Barcelona should be signing to help them try and regain European cups and league titles? 

It's just, he's absolutely shite. 

[Carnoustie Young Guvnor]

Just now, Mr. Alli said:

Correct - and where does a player of the calibre of Matteo Guendouzi fit in to that? 

Do you, personally, think that he is a player the likes Barcelona should be signing to help them try and regain European cups and league titles? 

It's just, he's absolutely shite. 

Aye, or I wouldn't have listed him above would I?  You're not the sharpest tool in the box are you?

[accies1874]

I'm sure Everton will sign most of their dead wood for £30m each.

[Janne Lindberg's Laces]

15 minutes ago, Comrie said:

Their whole "we defend and press from the front" gets taken to pieces once teams just bypass the midfield with quicker passing/a slightly more direct approach that means their midfield and wingers running around like idiots means nothing.

I'm not sure if it's an age thing or what the situation was but they did next to no pressing from the front last night. Defensively they were a minimum of 2 men down from the start with Messi and Suarez just not interested. It only got worse as the game went on. 

Bayern were very good last night but so much of their success was just through identifying and playing that direct pass you mentioned.

[Carnoustie Young Guvnor]

2 minutes ago, Janne Lindberg's Laces said:

I'm not sure if it's an age thing or what the situation was but they did next to no pressing from the front last night. Defensively they were a minimum of 2 men down from the start with Messi and Suarez just not interested. It only got worse as the game went on. 

Bayern were very good last night but so much of their success was just through identifying and playing that direct pass you mentioned.

They haven't really done that for a while. They don't have the legs for it anymore, you would get rid of all the older players except Messi, even signing Griezmann what a stupid fuckin signing and said so at the time. He is absolute horse, about forty years old and on three million a week.

[Sergeant Wilson]

Pep is incredible. All the player and team names, words that fit the context, but so far off the mark.

[Derry Alli]

20 minutes ago, Carnoustie Young Guvnor said:

Aye, or I wouldn't have listed him above would I?  You're not the sharpest tool in the box are you?

I'm not, although I don't claim to be. 

It's a bit hypocritical using such insults when you're trying to claim Matteo Guendouzi - a player who's. Urrent club finished 8th in their own respective league - would improve a team like Barcelona. 

[Carnoustie Young Guvnor]

3 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I'm not, although I don't claim to be. 

It's a bit hypocritical using such insults when you're trying to claim Matteo Guendouzi - a player who's. Urrent club finished 8th in their own respective league - would improve a team like Barcelona. 

You don't think Aubaumeyang would improve them?  Your argument is pish then isn't it. He would definitely improve them.