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The Scottish horror movie


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Hi all,

 

I think there is a distinct lack of Scottish horror movies so I have decided to make one.

 

The movie is set in the Ayrshire village of Catrine and involves a giant rabid cat that comes out at night and kills people, pisses in gardens and flips cars over.

 

I require some actors. Are there any actors on here? 

I can't promise any payment, but it's an opportunity to put yourself in the shop window.

 

Eric P xxx

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1 minute ago, Eric Paterson said:

Hi all,

 

I think there is a distinct lack of Scottish horror movies so I have decided to make one.

 

The movie is set in the Ayrshire village of Catrine and involves a giant rabid cat that comes out at night and kills people, pisses in gardens and flips cars over.

 

I require some actors. Are there any actors on here? 

I can't promise any payment, but it's an opportunity to put yourself in the shop window.

 

Eric P xxx

If the first victim is Janey Godley I'm in for 10%. That could make it the new "Springtime for Hitler"

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3 minutes ago, alta-pete said:

Just put a postcard advert in the Catrine post office window, no? 

Na  I wanted actors, not extras.

1 minute ago, tamthebam said:

If the first victim is Janey Godley I'm in for 10%. That could make it the new "Springtime for Hitler"

Deal.

1 minute ago, tamthebam said:

George Galloway found

I asked him but he's too busy trying to create unity by being a divisive c**t. His loss.

2 minutes ago, Jimi Shandrix said:

Would you like me to be the cat?

Yes. Can you meow? I would have used a real cat, but I'm actually allergic.

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3 minutes ago, Eric Paterson said:

Na  I wanted actors, not extras.

Deal.

I asked him but he's too busy trying to create unity by being a divisive c**t. His loss.

Yes. Can you meow? I would have used a real cat, but I'm actually allergic.

I can meow. I can also lick my own balls. Feeling good about all this.

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Scottish films always manage to get an American actor, whether it be Michael Keaton, Robert Duvall or Burt Lancaster.

Needs a Samuel L Jackson line, even if it's just a "I don't f***ing care.  Just get this motherf***ing cat out of this motherf***ing town".   Possibly a good description of Catrine too.

Eta: the cat has to partly live in one of the abandoned coal mines, leading to a cracking scene when some folk go down a shaft and suffer light failure (SLJ says "Jesus H Christ, which motherf***er forgot to charge the motherf***ing batteries?!").  A few secs of silence with intermittent dripping and sobbing  is broken by a growl, followed by piercing screams as the love interest is mauled / torn apart by cats in the pitch blackness. No special effects (and no guns), just a black screen accompanied with a brutal noise that makes the start of Saving Private Ryan seem like a kid's film in comparison.

Starts off with some wifie doing the dishes at the kitchen window, looking up and then shouting "Gary, there's a big panther 'hing oot in the back gairden pishing aw ower yer lupines"

Edited by Hedgecutter
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55 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Scottish films always manage to get an American actor, whether it be Michael Keaton, Robert Duvall or Burt Lancaster.

Needs a Samuel L Jackson line, even if it's just a "I don't f***ing care.  Just get this motherf***ing cat out of this motherf***ing town".   Possibly a good description of Catrine too.

Eta: the cat has to partly live in one of the abandoned coal mines, leading to a cracking scene when some folk go down a shaft and suffer light failure (SLJ says "Jesus H Christ, which motherf***er forgot to charge the motherf***ing batteries?!").  A few secs of silence with intermittent dripping and sobbing  is broken by a growl, followed by piercing screams as the love interest is mauled / torn apart by cats in the pitch blackness. No special effects (and no guns), just a black screen accompanied with a brutal noise that makes the start of Saving Private Ryan seem like a kid's film in comparison.

Starts off with some wifie doing the dishes at the kitchen window, looking up and then shouting "Gary, there's a big panther 'hing oot in the back gairden pishing aw ower yer lupines"

Survivors could be chased along the mine tunnel Raiders of the Lost Ark style by a giant ball which turns out to be a furball.

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34 minutes ago, tamthebam said:

Survivors could be chased along the mine tunnel Raiders of the Lost Ark style by a giant ball which turns out to be a furball.

... riding a red and yellow Little Tykes Cozy Coupe that they'd found dumped inside the mine.

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