Edinburgh - what is wrong with the place?

[Darren]

23 hours ago, hk blues said:

Still not forgiven us for 1986 I see!

Before my time.

I also lived in Dundee for three years and enjoyed it.

The V&A is not definitively Dundee.

[velo army]

23 hours ago, ICTChris said:

One thing that is annoying about Edinburgh is I have a bad back and am trying to find somewhere I can go for a sauna but Googling 'Edinburgh sauna' is giving me a very different sort of result.

It keeps giving you the names of actual saunas? 

[topcat(The most tip top)]

31 minutes ago, velo army said:

It keeps giving you the names of actual saunas? 

How do you think he got the "bad back"

 

[topcat(The most tip top)]

On 05/10/2021 at 10:56, ICTChris said:

One thing that is annoying about Edinburgh is I have a bad back and am trying to find somewhere I can go for a sauna but Googling 'Edinburgh sauna' is giving me a very different sort of result.

Most of the council swimming pools have actual Saunas but I assume you'll need to wait till after Covid calms down a bit further before sitting in a warm humid wooden box with other people

 

[topcat(The most tip top)]

On 04/10/2021 at 23:40, Dunning1874 said:

This seems as good a thread as any to ask for Edinburgh pub recommendations that are a) not a significant trek from Waverley or Haymarket as opposed to just knowing where to look and b) not tourist trap shiteholes verging on London prices.

From Haymarket

Dalry Road only has Dickens and the Balmoral left as gentrification has swept away the other old fashioned pubs but not yet delivered a craft beer palace. Dickens has more character of the two

Glasgow Road is Suburban with nothing till you get towards Murrayfield

Grosvenor Street is the start of proper posh west End so unless you're staying in the Grosvenor hotel we can ignore it.

Shandwick Place is heading towards Princes Street and while Au Bar isn't an intrinsically terrible place and there are a few places hidden off on William Street running parallell to Shandwick place that are good they're pricy and  there's a certain lack of soul that you get from a city centre bar which isn't really anybody's local. And you do risk meeting someone called Baxter or Campbell who wears red trousers.

So you most likely want to head up Morrison Street.

Ignore "the Haymarket" a pub that isn't a weatherspoons but feels like it might be

What used to be the splendidly dodgy Dianes Pool Hall is now "Malones" and irish themed place that makes great play of serving a really good pint of Tennent's lager from their tank. If you like green paint and Tennents lager this might be your personal heaven

Monty's on the right is a tardis of a place, two floors and a beer garden packed into an unassuming building. It's got the balance between locals and blow in's spot on. I recommend it

Across the road and up a bit is "Froth andFlames" which used to be "Cuba Norte" and will probably have had another "fire" and reopened under a different name so there's no point reviewing it

A little further up still is Thomson's. A genuine contender for best real ale in Edinburgh but I feel like the youth policy there and I'm in my '40s. I prefer it in the summer when you can get an outside table and enjoy excellent beer while avoiding the tiresome old men.

From here there's a gap as you get past the conference centre and then you're onto Lebowskis which is essentially the same vibe as the one in Glasgow. From that point you can carry on straight forward to Bread Street. The Blue Blazer is equal parts people who've lived round there for ages, people who've come from work nearby, weird art school people and tourists (exact proportions vary throughout the year). It serves very good beer and I recommend it highly

The Chanter is basically like one of those barns on Sauchihell street (The Hall?) and  If you like sitting on your own getting drunk while shouting at Sky Sports then the Footlights on a Sunday Afternoon might be the place for you

Continuing on this path will lead you to the Pubic triangle the famous trio of strip joints. So I'll gloss over that and suggest that you double back along bread street and go south along Lothian Road towards tollcross.

The hanging bat is craft beer wankery, that even the good people of Leith would find a bit much. All the beer is extra strong and the glasses are correspondingly smaller. Some of them especially the 10% porters (served by a 1/3 pint) are delicous but it's not really a place for a session.

You've then got the Raging bull. Which used to have a variety of rough identities but successfully reinvented itself. If you like Fizzy lager, cocktails, rap music and student lassies then this might be your jam

From there keep going towards the meadows and you'll get to the Ventoux which is the sister of the Tourmalet in Leith that was mentioned earlier. But it's in Tollcross so it's better (or at least closer to my house, which is pretty much the same thing)  and Cloisters another contender for best real ale pub in Edinburgh but with a far cheerier clientele

By this point you've walked a mile, are presumably plastered and should have found at least a couple of places that suit you

ETA
Or you may have ended up watching the strippers, I'm not judging

Edited October 6, 2021 by topcat(The most tip top)

[Enigma]

23 minutes ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

From Haymarket

Dalry Road only has Dickens and the Balmoral left as gentrification has swept away the other old fashioned pubs but not delivered a craft beer palace. Dickens has more character of the two

Glasgow Road is Suburban with nothing till you get towards Murrayfield

Grosvenor Street is the start of proper posh west End so unless you're staying in the Grosvenor hotel we can ignore it.

Shandwick Place is heading towards Princes Street and while Au Bar isn't an intrinsically terrible place and there are a few places hidden off on William Street running parallell to Shandwick place that are good they're pricy and  there's a certain lack of soul that you get from a city centre bar which isn't really anybody's local. And you do risk meeting someone called Baxter or Campbell who wears red trousers.

So you most likely want to head up Morrison Street.

Ignore "the Haymarket" a pub that isn't a weatherspoons but feels like it might be

What used to be the splendidly dodgy Dianes Pool Hall is now "Malones" and irish themed place that makes great play of serving a really good pint of Tennent's lager from their tank. If you like green paint and Tennents lager this might be your personal heaven

Monty's on the right is a tardis of a place, two floors and a beer garden packed into an unassuming building. It's got the balance between locals and blow in's spot on. I recommend it

Across the road and up a bit is "Froth andFlames" which used to be "Cuba Norte" and will probably have had another "fire" and reopened under a different name so there's no point reviewing it

A little further up still is Thomson's. A genuine contender for best real ale in Edinburgh but I feel like the youth policy there and I'm in my '40s. I prefer it in the summer when you can get an outside table and enjoy excellent beer while avoiding the tiresome old men.

From here there's a gap as you get past the conference centre and then you're onto Lebowskis which is essentially the same vibe as the one in Glasgow. From that point you can carry on straight forward to Bread Street. The Blue Blazer is equal parts people who've lived round there for ages, people who've come from work nearby, weird art school people and tourists (exact proportions vary throughout the year). It serves very good beer and I recommend it highly

The Chanter is basically like one of those barns on Sauchihell street (The Hall?) and  If you like sitting on your own getting drunk while shouting at Sky Sports then the Footlights on a Sunday Afternoon might be the place for you

Continuing on this path will lead you to the Pubic triangle the famous trio of strip joints. So I'll gloss over that and suggest that you double back along bread street and go south along Lothian Road towards tollcross.

The hanging bat is craft beer wankery, that even the good people of Leith would find a bit much. All the beer is extra strong and the glasses are correspondingly smaller. Some of them especially the 10% porters (served by a 1/3 pint) are delicous but it's not really a place for a session.

You've then got the Raging bull. Which used to have a variety of rough identities but successfully reinvented itself. If you like Fizzy lager, cocktails, rap music and student lassies then this might be your jam

From there keep going towards the meadows and you'll get to the Ventoux which is the sister of the Tourmalet in Leith that was mentioned earlier. But it's in Tollcross so it's better (or at least closer to my house, which is pretty much the same thing)  and Cloisters another contender for best real ale pub in Edinburgh but with a far cheerier clientele

By this point you've walked a mile, are presumably plastered and should have found at least a couple of places that suit you
 

 

Finish the night in the International Bar, surely?

[topcat(The most tip top)]

Just now, Enigma said:

Finish the night in the International Bar, surely?

Possibly. If I was looking for a seedy dive in that area I'd have gone for Burlington Berties but that's been relaunched by people whose other bar is a cocktail bar off rose street. Hopefully that fails and Berties returns to being a late night drinking den for lost souls who shouldn't really be there (but with refurbished toilets)

 

[The Moonster]

1 minute ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

Possibly. If I was looking for a seedy dive in that area I'd have gone for Burlington Berties but that's been relaunched by people whose other bar is a cocktail bar off rose street. Hopefully that fails and Berties returns to being a late night drinking den for lost souls who shouldn't really be there (but with refurbished toilets)

 

When I was about 17 the band I played in got offered a gig at Burlington Berties. Being young we treated this as basically a tour of Scotland, hired a minibus and took a load of our mates through for it. The joy and excitement of our group very quickly changed when we walked in. Some of the looks we got from what I assume were the regulars was enough to make your arse collapse. Great night though once it go going. 

[topcat(The most tip top)]

Incidentally as @Thorongil(the OP) is clearly a Celtic supporting reprobate with issues the International Bar is probably the best call for him.

I think they still run a bus to Parkhead from there and they serve buckfast behind the bar (although in port glasses).
 

Edited October 6, 2021 by topcat(The most tip top)

[velo army]

3 hours ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

From Haymarket

Dalry Road only has Dickens and the Balmoral left as gentrification has swept away the other old fashioned pubs but not delivered a craft beer palace. Dickens has more character of the two

Glasgow Road is Suburban with nothing till you get towards Murrayfield

Grosvenor Street is the start of proper posh west End so unless you're staying in the Grosvenor hotel we can ignore it.

Shandwick Place is heading towards Princes Street and while Au Bar isn't an intrinsically terrible place and there are a few places hidden off on William Street running parallell to Shandwick place that are good they're pricy and  there's a certain lack of soul that you get from a city centre bar which isn't really anybody's local. And you do risk meeting someone called Baxter or Campbell who wears red trousers.

So you most likely want to head up Morrison Street.

Ignore "the Haymarket" a pub that isn't a weatherspoons but feels like it might be

What used to be the splendidly dodgy Dianes Pool Hall is now "Malones" and irish themed place that makes great play of serving a really good pint of Tennent's lager from their tank. If you like green paint and Tennents lager this might be your personal heaven

Monty's on the right is a tardis of a place, two floors and a beer garden packed into an unassuming building. It's got the balance between locals and blow in's spot on. I recommend it

Across the road and up a bit is "Froth andFlames" which used to be "Cuba Norte" and will probably have had another "fire" and reopened under a different name so there's no point reviewing it

A little further up still is Thomson's. A genuine contender for best real ale in Edinburgh but I feel like the youth policy there and I'm in my '40s. I prefer it in the summer when you can get an outside table and enjoy excellent beer while avoiding the tiresome old men.

From here there's a gap as you get past the conference centre and then you're onto Lebowskis which is essentially the same vibe as the one in Glasgow. From that point you can carry on straight forward to Bread Street. The Blue Blazer is equal parts people who've lived round there for ages, people who've come from work nearby, weird art school people and tourists (exact proportions vary throughout the year). It serves very good beer and I recommend it highly

The Chanter is basically like one of those barns on Sauchihell street (The Hall?) and  If you like sitting on your own getting drunk while shouting at Sky Sports then the Footlights on a Sunday Afternoon might be the place for you

Continuing on this path will lead you to the Pubic triangle the famous trio of strip joints. So I'll gloss over that and suggest that you double back along bread street and go south along Lothian Road towards tollcross.

The hanging bat is craft beer wankery, that even the good people of Leith would find a bit much. All the beer is extra strong and the glasses are correspondingly smaller. Some of them especially the 10% porters (served by a 1/3 pint) are delicous but it's not really a place for a session.

You've then got the Raging bull. Which used to have a variety of rough identities but successfully reinvented itself. If you like Fizzy lager, cocktails, rap music and student lassies then this might be your jam

From there keep going towards the meadows and you'll get to the Ventoux which is the sister of the Tourmalet in Leith that was mentioned earlier. But it's in Tollcross so it's better (or at least closer to my house, which is pretty much the same thing)  and Cloisters another contender for best real ale pub in Edinburgh but with a far cheerier clientele

By this point you've walked a mile, are presumably plastered and should have found at least a couple of places that suit you

ETA
Or you may have ended up watching the strippers, I'm not judging

This might be one of the most valuable posts I've ever read on this forum. A pub crawl next time I'm through there (I'll try and squeeze in The Abbotsford as it's ace; lovely real ale, nice food and, crucially, no music or screens) is now on the cards.

[topcat(The most tip top)]

30 minutes ago, velo army said:

This might be one of the most valuable posts I've ever read on this forum. A pub crawl next time I'm through there (I'll try and squeeze in The Abbotsford as it's ace; lovely real ale, nice food and, crucially, no music or screens) is now on the cards.

The crucial thing is to avoid George Street as it's full of tiresome wanks paying high prices for cheap drinks.

 

Edited October 6, 2021 by topcat(The most tip top)

[Wee-Bey]

Bet your city doesn't have a *checks notes* tram-pedo

[tamthebam]

I once got chucked out of Thomson's with a workmate for singing "In my Liverpool town" at our Scouse workmate.

I'm afraid I was very, very, drunk

[Darren]

On 06/10/2021 at 12:37, topcat(The most tip top) said:

Hopefully that fails and Berties returns to being a late night drinking den for lost souls who shouldn't really be there (but with refurbished toilets)

 

A lick of paint would probably be enough. Bigger toilets under stairs in people's houses.

I've only been there once, on a date (her choice). Went back to hers and fell between the two single mattresses she had chucked together on a double bed frame and promptly passed out.

[Gordon EF]

On 06/10/2021 at 12:02, topcat(The most tip top) said:

From Haymarket

Dalry Road only has Dickens and the Balmoral left as gentrification has swept away the other old fashioned pubs but not yet delivered a craft beer palace. Dickens has more character of the two

Glasgow Road is Suburban with nothing till you get towards Murrayfield

Grosvenor Street is the start of proper posh west End so unless you're staying in the Grosvenor hotel we can ignore it.

Shandwick Place is heading towards Princes Street and while Au Bar isn't an intrinsically terrible place and there are a few places hidden off on William Street running parallell to Shandwick place that are good they're pricy and  there's a certain lack of soul that you get from a city centre bar which isn't really anybody's local. And you do risk meeting someone called Baxter or Campbell who wears red trousers.

So you most likely want to head up Morrison Street.

Ignore "the Haymarket" a pub that isn't a weatherspoons but feels like it might be

What used to be the splendidly dodgy Dianes Pool Hall is now "Malones" and irish themed place that makes great play of serving a really good pint of Tennent's lager from their tank. If you like green paint and Tennents lager this might be your personal heaven

Monty's on the right is a tardis of a place, two floors and a beer garden packed into an unassuming building. It's got the balance between locals and blow in's spot on. I recommend it

Across the road and up a bit is "Froth andFlames" which used to be "Cuba Norte" and will probably have had another "fire" and reopened under a different name so there's no point reviewing it

A little further up still is Thomson's. A genuine contender for best real ale in Edinburgh but I feel like the youth policy there and I'm in my '40s. I prefer it in the summer when you can get an outside table and enjoy excellent beer while avoiding the tiresome old men.

From here there's a gap as you get past the conference centre and then you're onto Lebowskis which is essentially the same vibe as the one in Glasgow. From that point you can carry on straight forward to Bread Street. The Blue Blazer is equal parts people who've lived round there for ages, people who've come from work nearby, weird art school people and tourists (exact proportions vary throughout the year). It serves very good beer and I recommend it highly

The Chanter is basically like one of those barns on Sauchihell street (The Hall?) and  If you like sitting on your own getting drunk while shouting at Sky Sports then the Footlights on a Sunday Afternoon might be the place for you

Continuing on this path will lead you to the Pubic triangle the famous trio of strip joints. So I'll gloss over that and suggest that you double back along bread street and go south along Lothian Road towards tollcross.

The hanging bat is craft beer wankery, that even the good people of Leith would find a bit much. All the beer is extra strong and the glasses are correspondingly smaller. Some of them especially the 10% porters (served by a 1/3 pint) are delicous but it's not really a place for a session.

You've then got the Raging bull. Which used to have a variety of rough identities but successfully reinvented itself. If you like Fizzy lager, cocktails, rap music and student lassies then this might be your jam

From there keep going towards the meadows and you'll get to the Ventoux which is the sister of the Tourmalet in Leith that was mentioned earlier. But it's in Tollcross so it's better (or at least closer to my house, which is pretty much the same thing)  and Cloisters another contender for best real ale pub in Edinburgh but with a far cheerier clientele

By this point you've walked a mile, are presumably plastered and should have found at least a couple of places that suit you

ETA
Or you may have ended up watching the strippers, I'm not judging

Fantastic summary. The only notable exception I can think of is maybe Brauhaus. Once you get to Tollcross, turn left up Lauriston Place instead of straight on to Ventoux. It's small and a bit shabby looking but it has a pretty bewildering choice of Belgian / German beers in there and usually has at least one decent beer on tap that you might never have tried before, if that's your thing. It's rarely rammed and the clientele is fairly mixed. If you get too loud you might get shooshed though.

[Shandon Par]

On 05/10/2021 at 10:56, ICTChris said:

One thing that is annoying about Edinburgh is I have a bad back and am trying to find somewhere I can go for a sauna but Googling 'Edinburgh sauna' is giving me a very different sort of result.

Maybe stretching the definition of Edinburgh but the Dalmahoy has a decent health club with very hot sauna and steam room. 

[renton]

4 minutes ago, Gordon EF said:

Fantastic summary. The only notable exception I can think of is maybe Brauhaus. Once you get to Tollcross, turn left up Lauriston Place instead of straight on to Ventoux. It's small and a bit shabby looking but it has a pretty bewildering choice of Belgian / German beers in there and usually has at least one decent beer on tap that you might never have tried before, if that's your thing. It's rarely rammed and the clientele is fairly mixed. If you get too loud you might get shooshed though.

Is it even open again? It's been fairly average for a few years now since they changed owners and got all those sewing machines on the tables.

The only quibble I would have with Topcat's guide is Montys - it's just a bit dull now, was fantastic when it was Carters.

[RiG]

Nice to see the tram pedo stuff doing the rounds on social media. It was made up when someone posted it in 2018 and it's still made up now.

Edited October 7, 2021 by RiG

[Gordon EF]

2 minutes ago, renton said:

Is it even open again? It's been fairly average for a few years now since they changed owners and got all those sewing machines on the tables.

The only quibble I would have with Topcat's guide is Montys - it's just a bit dull now, was fantastic when it was Carters.

Aye, I walked past it a couple of weeks ago and it was open. I've not been in for a couple of years to be fair. Used to live 2 minutes away and was in fairly regularly. Agree about the sewing machines though. Bizarre addition.

[renton]

5 minutes ago, Gordon EF said:

Aye, I walked past it a couple of weeks ago and it was open. I've not been in for a couple of years to be fair. Used to live 2 minutes away and was in fairly regularly. Agree about the sewing machines though. Bizarre addition.

Aye, I mind when you'd go in there, and it was rammed full, there was all those football flags on the ceiling, music pounding and Bundesliga on the TV... went in a few weeks later, and it was civilised to a fault: Just a few groups of what you'd stereotypically think of as art school folk, some post grad looking folk, a few obvious dates - all huddled round their sewing machines and fake foliage.

Tonal whiplash.

Edited October 7, 2021 by renton