BFTD Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 23 hours ago, tamthebam said: If you'd been staunch you could have turned Elgar over to the other side and "stood to attention" in the presence of HM It doesn't say much for the nurses of Stirling Infirmary either if there were no wee tidies to think about One lassie who popped her head out a doorway when we arrived and handed me the sample cup when I showed the letter. She was well buttoned up and stern faced, so I don't think she fancied being anybody's inspiration, understandably. Happily, no staff to be seen when we emerged, just a tray on the counter with a note indicating this was where the samples were to be left, so I plonked it down with the others and went on my way. 13 hours ago, scottsdad said: Haud oan... You're in a dingy, disgusting gents bog, separated from other guys shiteing/pishing, in a cubicle and trying to do the Spiderman one-off-the-wrist. I can picture it. But how did the next part go? Trying to picture standing at a urinal, say, and some guy is locked in a cubicle making suspicious sounds. Then the guy leaves the cubicle - wee sample cup in hand - heads out the bogs, and returns with a woman in tow and they lock themselves in the same cubicle. And the suspicious noises resume. Is that it? And some say romance is dead... No cubicle, it was just a wee bathroom with a single lavvy and sink, the door to which opened directly out to the reception area. The wife had joked about whether I'd need help beforehand, so I poked my head out after a few minutes and gave her a resigned, "right, get in here". Didn't take long after that, thankfully. They're bound to get guys who have to ask if they can try again later. 12 hours ago, alta-pete said: Whatever you do today Dave, do not Google ‘vabbing’. Now I know how @KnightswoodBear feels when we tag him in on the Nope thread Spoiler 9 hours ago, carpetmonster said: I got a nice wee room with a telly (Amazon firestick for the browser so trying to search anything was as slow as death) and a big stack of Penthouses. Been reading about these folks who set up an email address for their kid and send them an email every day so they've got a 'diary' of their baby years; would be an idea, but I can't remember the specific video that 'inspired' the boy to send him the link. Can you put movies into those digital photo frames? Would look lovely on the mantelpiece if I get a flashback. Aye, that's always how the experience is represented in US TV and movies. Bit different here. This is where Dawson Park Boy would normally chime in with, "well, when I went private, there was a chap with a cane and mints who took care of all that". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 19 hours ago, coprolite said: My mate when i was younger had a spitting rug in his house. Him and his dad used to sit smoking tabs and hocking up phlegm gems onto this wee carpet. He was amazing at spitting though, could get it miles. That's possibly one of the most horrid things I've read. Did they get the rug out for a smoke or did it just sit as a big puddle of phlegm permanently in the middle of the room? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 I'm choosing to believe that @coprolite's lying about the phlegm rug. Not because he's ever seemed like a fibber, it's just a world that I don't want to live in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 2 hours ago, The Moonster said: That's possibly one of the most horrid things I've read. Did they get the rug out for a smoke or did it just sit as a big puddle of phlegm permanently in the middle of the room? I think the latter, i guess their wife/mum cleaned it but couldn't vouch for that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 1 hour ago, BTFD said: I'm choosing to believe that @coprolite's lying about the phlegm rug. Not because he's ever seemed like a fibber, it's just a world that I don't want to live in. I'm very sorry. It's a true story. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'WellDel Posted May 7, 2023 Share Posted May 7, 2023 Manky, manky b*****d in front of me in the toilets at the game yesterday pished and walked straight out without washing his hands. I followed the correct procedure and, after using the slowest hand drier on earth, walked out and passed him coming back from the kiosk carrying 4 pies for him and whatever poor unsuspecting cnuts he was with. Just disgusting, lazy behaviour. You don't see it much any more, but my old local was one which would often stick out wee bowls of crisps or nuts on your table which folk would all readily take handfuls of. Not a chance for me with subhuman scum like that lurking among us. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 7, 2023 Share Posted May 7, 2023 (edited) On 04/05/2023 at 18:04, BTFD said: It's vile, but particularly egregious considering they always do it in the middle of the pavement, and there's a perfectly serviceable gutter to the other side of them. I think it must be a territory-marking thing, since pissing in the street became unfashionable. When did this happen? Edited May 7, 2023 by Jacksgranda 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 7, 2023 Share Posted May 7, 2023 3 hours ago, Jacksgranda said: When did this happen? Seemed to be around the same time they replaced all the red phone boxes. For our younger viewers, there's a gap of about a foot at the bottom of modern phone boxes to let the pish flow out, and they're as transparent as possible to shame those pishing within them. For our even younger viewers, phones used to be attached to switchboards by wires, and they lived in these wee coffins on the street... Of course, none of this will be of any concern to yourself or @Granny Danger, with your modern absorbent undergarments. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ICTFCwife Posted May 12, 2023 Share Posted May 12, 2023 People who after they finish a plate of food drag their fingers around the remaining sauce on their plates and sook their fingers. Gives me the boke 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnash Posted May 12, 2023 Share Posted May 12, 2023 46 minutes ago, ICTFCwife said: People who after they finish a plate of food drag their fingers around the remaining sauce on their plates and sook their fingers. Gives me the boke Your standards for getting the boke are somewhat inconsistent. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Diego De la Vega Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 There is someone at work who regularly misses the bowl when pissing, Nothing worse than pulling up your boilersuit and having a soaking wet arm, makes your blood run cold, I now boycott No2s while on shift 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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