Small and indiscriminate behaviours or acts which you judge to be unhygienic atrocities committed by the unthinking, unknowing hands of a manky bas

[scottsdad]

15 hours ago, BTFD said:

Many moons ago, the wife wasn't getting knocked up no matter how many times we tried - washing our hands afterwards, naturally - so I was referred to the fertility clinic at the old Stirling Royal. On arrival, I got handed a sample cup and pointed in the direction of a wee bathroom in the reception area. Trying to knock one out in a spunk-scented dingy jobby closet with a handful of other men waiting for their turn on the other side of the door just wasn't doing it for me, so I had to call the wife in to help.

Anyway, there was no soap at the sink. Disgusting.

Haud oan...

You're in a dingy, disgusting gents bog, separated from other guys shiteing/pishing, in a cubicle and trying to do the Spiderman one-off-the-wrist. I can picture it.

But how did the next part go? Trying to picture standing at a urinal, say, and some guy is locked in a cubicle making suspicious sounds. Then the guy leaves the cubicle - wee sample cup in hand - heads out the bogs, and returns with a woman in tow and they lock themselves in the same cubicle. And the suspicious noises resume. Is that it?

And some say romance is dead...

[D Angelo Barksdale]

[bennett]

20 hours ago, Jives Miguel said:

Just glanced at my colleagues mouse and its caked in this coagulated, black sweat and grime.

 

Thank you

 

Poor wee moose, maybe you should contact the sspca?

[DA Baracus]

19 hours ago, MEADOWXI said:

Generally it's amazing that a couple of years ago people would not enter a building without sanitising their hands and washed their hands constantly. and we already back to a country that at least 50% of blokes can't be bothered to wash their hands before leaving the gents in the pub.

I always got the impression that there was a sizable chunk of the populace, who weren't happy about having to wash their hands but grudgingly did so, who were absolutely desperate to be able to go back to not having to wash their hands after going to the toilet.

People are disgusting.

[alta-pete]

18 hours ago, BTFD said:

It's also frightening how many videos are on the internet of people surreptitiously stuffing their hand into their arse cleavage, having a good scratch, then giving it a sniff before going about their day. 

Whatever you do today Dave, do not Google ‘vabbing’. 

[Sugar_Army]

Been travelling around Japan last few weeks.  Peopke are so polote and place is amazingly clean. 

Transport immaculate, on time and well organised for getting around. No drunken arseholes bothering people on it.  Rail staff bow upon entering and exiting each carriage. 

Streets have no chewing gum.  Nobody spitting.  Everybody takes their litter home. 

In some places toilet lids lift when you walk in. Seat of the pan is warmed for you. Option to play some water noise to cover you plopping or pissing like a Clydesdale horse. You can get a wee jet of warm water to wash your bits and copious amounts of toilet paper as well as the option to get it all blow dried.  Public bogs everywhere and free!

Only weird thing is that while your can soap and wash your hands, hardly anywhere has a drier or paper towels.  You have to supply your own means of drying your hands.  To counter this, shops sell wee hand towels just for this reason.  There must a guy coining it in somewhere.

Anyways, Mrs SA and I have had a look at these for when we do up the downstairs loo.  If we get one and my internet works in it I doubt I will ever leave the house again!

Once you've experienced a japanese toilet you will wonder how you ever managed without one

https://www.victorianplumbing.co.uk/toilets/japanese-toilets

Ps.  Other toilet companies are available.

Edited May 5, 2023 by Sugar_Army

[mathematics]

1 hour ago, Sugar_Army said:

Been travelling around Japan last few weeks.  Peopke are so polote and place is amazingly clean. 

Transport immaculate, on time and well organised for getting around. No drunken arseholes bothering people on it.  Rail staff bow upon entering and exiting each carriage. 

Streets have no chewing gum.  Nobody spitting.  Everybody takes their litter home. 

In some places toilet lids lift when you walk in. Seat of the pan is warmed for you. Option to play some water noise to cover you plopping or pissing like a Clydesdale horse. You can get a wee jet of warm water to wash your bits and copious amounts of toilet paper as well as the option to get it all blow dried.  Public bogs everywhere and free!

Only weird thing is that while your can soap and wash your hands, hardly anywhere has a drier or paper towels.  You have to supply your own means of drying your hands.  To counter this, shops sell wee hand towels just for this reason.  There must a guy coining it in somewhere.

Anyways, Mrs SA and I have had a look at these for when we do up the downstairs loo.  If we get one and my internet works in it I doubt I will ever leave the house again!

Once you've experienced a japanese toilet you will wonder how you ever managed without one

https://www.victorianplumbing.co.uk/toilets/japanese-toilets

Ps.  Other toilet companies are available.

It has been my favourite destination so far. Wonderful country.

[Derry Alli]

14 hours ago, BillyAnchor said:

Worst thread ever. Manky bas? Bas needs another s.

 

Manky bass.

Billy's all about that bass, about that bass. 

[Derry Alli]

3 hours ago, Marlo Stanfield said:

My mate used to do this all the time. Fucking revolting. 

We were in Lloret de Mar (also fucking revolting) and he was mingling with these two absurd 10's when they looked at him and said "WTF?!". He then proceeded to offer them a sniff.

I miss that c**t.

[tamthebam]

@BTFD at the clinic.... 

 

[carpetmonster]

19 hours ago, BTFD said:

Many moons ago, the wife wasn't getting knocked up no matter how many times we tried - washing our hands afterwards, naturally - so I was referred to the fertility clinic at the old Stirling Royal. On arrival, I got handed a sample cup and pointed in the direction of a wee bathroom in the reception area. Trying to knock one out in a spunk-scented dingy jobby closet with a handful of other men waiting for their turn on the other side of the door just wasn't doing it for me, so I had to call the wife in to help.

Anyway, there was no soap at the sink. Disgusting.

I got a nice wee room with a telly (Amazon firestick for the browser so trying to search anything was as slow as death) and a big stack of Penthouses. Been reading about these folks who set up an email address for their kid and send them an email every day so they've got a 'diary' of their baby years; would be an idea, but I can't remember the specific video that 'inspired' the boy to send him the link. Can you put movies into those digital photo frames? Would look lovely on the mantelpiece if I get a flashback. 

[Jives Miguel]

Owning a dog.

Dogs are reekin. Owners houses are very often reekin because the dog is so reekin. Owners very often let their dogs shit on the street without cleaning it up.

Imagine preferring dogs to cats. An absolutely mental opinion to hold IMO.

 

 

Edited May 5, 2023 by Jives Miguel

[Steve_Wilkos]

12 minutes ago, Jives Miguel said:

Owning a dog.

Dogs are reekin. Owners houses are very often reekin because the dog is so reekin. Owners very often let their dogs shit on the street without cleaning it up.

Imagine preferring dogs to cats. An absolutely mental opinion to hold IMO.

 

 

A dog just done a shit in our office.

[scottsdad]

Just now, Steve_Wilkos said:

A dog just done a shit in our office.

Aye, aye. Blame the dog, as usual. 

[coprolite]

My mate when i was younger had a spitting rug in his house. Him and his dad used to sit smoking tabs and hocking up phlegm gems onto this wee carpet. 

He was amazing at spitting though, could get it miles. 

[RuMoore]

47 minutes ago, Jives Miguel said:

Owning a dog.

Dogs are reekin. Owners houses are very often reekin because the dog is so reekin. Owners very often let their dogs shit on the street without cleaning it up.

Imagine preferring dogs to cats. An absolutely mental opinion to hold IMO.

 

 

Cat owners houses are usually reeking as their cat spends aw the time outside whilst also managing to shit and piss in the owners reeking gaff alongside bringing in reeking dead rodents. 

Also the likelihood of the owner being a mink is trebled through their cat ownership decision. 

[Sugar_Army]

1 hour ago, Jives Miguel said:

Owning a dog.

Dogs are reekin. Owners houses are very often reekin because the dog is so reekin. Owners very often let their dogs shit on the street without cleaning it up.

Imagine preferring dogs to cats. An absolutely mental opinion to hold IMO.

 

 

As mentioned earlier, currently  touring Japan.  Seems like everybody that owns a wee dug dresses them up and pushes them about in a pram.  Definitely  for the watchin'.

[Sugar_Army]

3 hours ago, mathematics said:

It has been my favourite destination so far. Wonderful country.

Done a few countries in Asia but as you say, wonderful country.  The contradiction between staying in a monastery in Koya San and the tiny box room inTokyo and the life that surrounds them is mental.

[Newbornbairn]

5 hours ago, Sugar_Army said:

Been travelling around Japan last few weeks.  Peopke are so polote and place is amazingly clean. 

Transport immaculate, on time and well organised for getting around. No drunken arseholes bothering people on it.  Rail staff bow upon entering and exiting each carriage. 

Streets have no chewing gum.  Nobody spitting.  Everybody takes their litter home. 

In some places toilet lids lift when you walk in. Seat of the pan is warmed for you. Option to play some water noise to cover you plopping or pissing like a Clydesdale horse. You can get a wee jet of warm water to wash your bits and copious amounts of toilet paper as well as the option to get it all blow dried.  Public bogs everywhere and free!

Only weird thing is that while your can soap and wash your hands, hardly anywhere has a drier or paper towels.  You have to supply your own means of drying your hands.  To counter this, shops sell wee hand towels just for this reason.  There must a guy coining it in somewhere.

Anyways, Mrs SA and I have had a look at these for when we do up the downstairs loo.  If we get one and my internet works in it I doubt I will ever leave the house again!

Once you've experienced a japanese toilet you will wonder how you ever managed without one

https://www.victorianplumbing.co.uk/toilets/japanese-toilets

Ps.  Other toilet companies are available.

Dundee Council had these in the toilets at Tayside House 30 years ago. Just the staff toilets though, not the public ones. 

[tongue_tied_danny]

Pishing on the seat in a public toilet.