Salt n Vinegar Posted June 11 Share Posted June 11 Sorry, there was another bugbear of mine, that persists as long as we have the risible house of lords.... Nobody who is unsuccessful in an election (FPTP or PR) may be "elevated" to the House of Lords for 25 years from the date of the election at which they were most recently unsuccessful. No more Malcolm Offords, thanks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picklish Posted June 11 Share Posted June 11 State religion: copy Rastafarianism, but with Hazel Irvine as Haile Selassie International relations: designate state intelligence agents as terrorist organisations - CIA, FSB, Mi6, mossad, revolutionary guards of Iran, etc Governance: Lottery to select 10% of MSPs, like jury service. Have to be independents, not allowed to represent any party directly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Pele Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 Justice: make the whole country a justice zone a la Red Dwarf, where the consequences of any crime you commit are effected on you. We, of course, do not live three million years in the future so this will have to be done manually, so said justice will be carried out by your victim or a nominated person of their choosing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 Health warning on newspapers. "Warning: Reading this newspaper can seriously affect your ability to think properly". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheese Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 Forced labour camps for Old Firm Fans. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 2 minutes ago, Cheese said: Forced labour camps for Old Firm Fans. Think they’d prefer Tory camps tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 Fix all of the potholes Ban tractors and lorries from the roads during daylight hours 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatchetman Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 Sell westminster and move parliament to a utilitarian building in Berwick/Stoke/Montrose. Except the lord's. They're gone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 12 Author Share Posted June 12 2 hours ago, Richey Edwards said: Fix all of the potholes Ban tractors and lorries from the roads during daylight hours I think SUVs do a lot of damage too and they're the most popular model of car sold in the UK. Road Tax to go up to £10000.00 for SUV drivers. School mums to walk their kids to school like I had to do in the winter in Arbroath when I was 5. It never did me any harm. Apart from pleurisy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 Reduce the speed limit on motorways to 40mph while increasing the speed limit in residential areas to 40mph. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
O'Kelly Isley III Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 Repeats of Mrs Brown's Boys to be banned from all electronic media and Ant and Dec to be forcibly retrained as dental hygienists. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 7 hours ago, O'Kelly Isley III said: Repeats of Mrs Brown's Boys to be banned from all electronic media and Ant and Dec to be forcibly retrained as dental hygienists. I'd ban the first showings. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUcal Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 A few teaser policies to get folk onside before the full manifesto is made public: Doner kebab pies must be available at all football grounds in the country. Failure to provide these will mean a points deduction. New rail lines will be constructed to connect to any town that has a football club but no station. The station must be no more than a 20 minute walk from the ground with pubs in between. The old firm to be banned from competing in organised competitions. The decision is for them to make - do they just play against each other each week to keep the bigots happy, or, do they go begging to the english leagues to let them in. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 The hated sugar tax to be repealed and replaced by a statutory requirement to have eaten your vegetables before you can get any sweets. Royal family to be guillotined. Audience “whooping” in the American style to be outlawed and punishable by death. Mandatory Bren gunners to be installed in all Saturday TV venues to facilitate innovative fast track scheme. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 16 minutes ago, coprolite said: The hated sugar tax to be repealed and replaced by a statutory requirement to have eaten your vegetables before you can get any sweets. Royal family to be guillotined. Audience “whooping” in the American style to be outlawed and punishable by death. Mandatory Bren gunners to be installed in all Saturday TV venues to facilitate innovative fast track scheme. Anyone screaming 'In the hole' on a par 5 hole should be summarily executed on the spot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 UK National Anthem to be changed to Yakety Sax. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 3 hours ago, AUcal said: A few teaser policies to get folk onside before the full manifesto is made public: Doner kebab pies must be available at all football grounds in the country. Failure to provide these will mean a points deduction. New rail lines will be constructed to connect to any town that has a football club but no station. The station must be no more than a 20 minute walk from the ground with pubs in between. The old firm to be banned from competing in organised competitions. The decision is for them to make - do they just play against each other each week to keep the bigots happy, or, do they go begging to the english leagues to let them in. I hope you don’t find your new portfolio at the Ministry of Sports and Transport too onerous. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonS Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 On 11/06/2024 at 20:49, tamthebam said: MPs should only be renumerated by their salary and should be banned from having second incomes such as directorships. There should be an understanding that their job is to represent the electorate first and only. MPs and Ministers should be paid on a formula reflecting what the rest of the country makes. So something like adding Universal Credit, annualised National Minimum Wage, the median full-time salary, the median incomes of women, disabled people and ethnic minorities all together and then dividing by whatever number takes it down to the current level of pay. Then their salary increases are tied to those of the country as a whole. On 12/06/2024 at 00:19, picklish said: Royal Family: Keep a royal family, however not this particular royal family. Any family wishing to become the royal family can submit an application, Eurovision style voting (minus judges) with national holiday to select the new family. Abolish the honours system. Rescind all honours first. I've long said, if they believe in the free market so much, the Royal Family should be put out to competitive tender. The government would draft a specification and then the lowest compliant bid would get the job. You could easily cut costs by 90% and get the same functions. Some bids might fail a criminal background check. On 12/06/2024 at 00:14, Salt n Vinegar said: Any interview by a journalist with a spokesperson of a political party where the politician evades answering a direct question with a direct answer twice will be immediately terminated. Terminate what, the interview or the politician? 4 hours ago, AUcal said: New rail lines will be constructed to connect to any town that has a football club but no station. The station must be no more than a 20 minute walk from the ground with pubs in between. Can't wait to get the train to Orkney. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 13 Author Share Posted June 13 Following on from everything else we should privatise the Royal Family and buy shares in them. "At a shareholders meeting the current incumbent of the post of Duke of York was unseated for, as a spokeperson put it, "being a f*cking nonce" and the shareholders elected Jay Blades into the position as "he seems quite nice".." "Shareholders of BritRoyal PLC decided to accept a proposal from McDonald's that the King's head be replaced on coins by a big golden arch in return for lots of moolah" "The shareholders of BritRoyal PLC decided to accept the takeover bid from the Saudi Royal family. All hail King Mohammed bin Salman" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUcal Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 1 hour ago, GordonS said: Can't wait to get the train to Orkney. "They said it was crazy and impossible. They said it was a ridiculous waste of public money that will never make a return on the investment, just for the sake of football away days to Orkney". "Well they're not laughing now" ^ me on platform 1 of Kirkwall train station as the first ever service leaves for Inverness. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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