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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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11 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Delivery folk who will only chap the door lightly rather than use the obvious doorbell that's custom designed for their needs. At 10pm I could understand, but certainly not during the day.

I hate this.

We have guys round who say they rattled the letterbox and wondered why I didn't come to the door. Difficult to understand seeing as:

we have a bell

the letter box is one of those insulated things with brushes on them and doesn't rattle

if you look through the outer door with the letterbox you can see another door

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2 hours ago, philpy said:

Came out of the gym tonight to be greeted by this. I had to get into my seat from the passenger side. I'm the one on the right. Daft arse had left the driver window open as well.6595d88e37639e21b1ccc260550df28a.jpg

The other person probably had to crawl out the window like Bo Duke cause you can't park for shit.

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50 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said:

The thought process that Philpy must go through before posts such like this really intrigues me.

He must have thought that the person parking on the middle of the bay was outrageous behavior, and presumed everyone here would agree.

Oh, Philpy!

This is absolutely classic "oh, philpy". He's posted that up assuming everyone will join him in slating this woman, when in fact he's the one who has parked like someone out on their first lesson.

Hilarious.

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This is absolutely classic "oh, philpy". He's posted that up assuming everyone will join him in slating this woman, when in fact he's the one who has parked like someone out on their first lesson.
Hilarious.


I can just picture him tomorrow too, one of these guys that'll be going about the workshop moaning about this every time they have a coffee break..

'Aye you'll never guess what happened to me last night when I came ooot the gym..!!!'

Hahah
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New security guard at work.

He's a p***k.

He's in his early 50s and about 5'3" but goes on about his time in the army a lot. Was there not a minimum height at that time? Pretty sure he's talking pish. Anyway I digress.

He talks at ye all the fucking time. Like, no matter what yer doing, and if he walks anywhere near ye he'll let out a loud sigh or start tutting or say "Oh deary me... Well I never" in that annoying way. He's PRETENDING to be talking out loud to himself but, really, he's hoping that you will stop whatever you're doing, turn to him, and say "What's up?"

Anyway some of my favourite stories of his so far

  • He's offered to clear away the "squatters" (a homeless guy who occasionally sleeps in an abandoned shed at the back of the hospital when it rains) with his dogs and the Trust are "thinking about it".
  • He took his van in to get something done to it and he felt he was being shafted so he went down with his dogs and smashed up the place until the mechanic let him off with not paying.
  • He was one of the first soldiers to march into Stanley after they'd "got rid of the Argies" and had women throwing themselves at him (but was married so never touched them).
  • He's going to start coming into work with his old army backpack so when he does his patrols he can carry 50kg of weights with him to keep himself fit.
  • He was a champion amateur boxer into his 40s


I believe the last one (partially) to be fair. He's got the build of a boxer and his nose is bent six ways from Sunday.
West Ham fan as well. Obviously.

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11 hours ago, Granny Danger said:

Most folk on here think I am also 33 years older than I really am.

I've seen you referred to as Methuselah on here by cheeky young whippersnappers; so we they deserve some credit for getting so close, surely.

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This is absolutely classic "oh, philpy". He's posted that up assuming everyone will join him in slating this woman, when in fact he's the one who has parked like someone out on their first lesson.
Hilarious.


What gets me is if, as he says, there was a large bush on the other side of the space and he didn't want his car scratched, why didn't he just park one space over? You know, in the one he's encroached in, in the first place?
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1 hour ago, Swarley said:


Keys in the bowl type party?

Philpy's not daft at swingers partys. Any chancer who's got any ideas of running off with his keys to nick his car is left looking rather foolish when they realise they can't get in the fucking thing.

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9 hours ago, AsimButtHitsASix said:

New security guard at work.

He's a p***k.

He's in his early 50s and about 5'3" but goes on about his time in the army a lot. Was there not a minimum height at that time? Pretty sure he's talking pish. Anyway I digress.

He talks at ye all the fucking time. Like, no matter what yer doing, and if he walks anywhere near ye he'll let out a loud sigh or start tutting or say "Oh deary me... Well I never" in that annoying way. He's PRETENDING to be talking out loud to himself but, really, he's hoping that you will stop whatever you're doing, turn to him, and say "What's up?"

Anyway some of my favourite stories of his so far

  • He's offered to clear away the "squatters" (a homeless guy who occasionally sleeps in an abandoned shed at the back of the hospital when it rains) with his dogs and the Trust are "thinking about it".
  • He took his van in to get something done to it and he felt he was being shafted so he went down with his dogs and smashed up the place until the mechanic let him off with not paying.
  • He was one of the first soldiers to march into Stanley after they'd "got rid of the Argies" and had women throwing themselves at him (but was married so never touched them).
  • He's going to start coming into work with his old army backpack so when he does his patrols he can carry 50kg of weights with him to keep himself fit.
  • He was a champion amateur boxer into his 40s


I believe the last one (partially) to be fair. He's got the build of a boxer and his nose is bent six ways from Sunday.
West Ham fan as well. Obviously.

The Falklands ended 14/06/82*, 35.5 years ago.

If he is say 51 would have made him 16 at the time. Married and a war hero by 16, What a lad.

I once won a pub quiz as got 3 points for day month and year of the end of the Falklands War, and no-one else did (happened to be my 12th birthday and why I remember it).

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New security guard at work.

He's a p***k.

He's in his early 50s and about 5'3" but goes on about his time in the army a lot. Was there not a minimum height at that time? Pretty sure he's talking pish. Anyway I digress.

He talks at ye all the fucking time. Like, no matter what yer doing, and if he walks anywhere near ye he'll let out a loud sigh or start tutting or say "Oh deary me... Well I never" in that annoying way. He's PRETENDING to be talking out loud to himself but, really, he's hoping that you will stop whatever you're doing, turn to him, and say "What's up?"

Anyway some of my favourite stories of his so far
  • He's offered to clear away the "squatters" (a homeless guy who occasionally sleeps in an abandoned shed at the back of the hospital when it rains) with his dogs and the Trust are "thinking about it".
  • He took his van in to get something done to it and he felt he was being shafted so he went down with his dogs and smashed up the place until the mechanic let him off with not paying.
  • He was one of the first soldiers to march into Stanley after they'd "got rid of the Argies" and had women throwing themselves at him (but was married so never touched them).
  • He's going to start coming into work with his old army backpack so when he does his patrols he can carry 50kg of weights with him to keep himself fit.
  • He was a champion amateur boxer into his 40s

I believe the last one (partially) to be fair. He's got the build of a boxer and his nose is bent six ways from Sunday.
West Ham fan as well. Obviously.

Surely the nose being next six ways from Sunday (a saying I've never heard until now btw, so credit for that) suggests he wasn't a champion? Boy sounds like a walloper. We used to have a guy come in to my old work like this, but he was forever winning large sums of money that he bought new carpets with. Boy supposedly bought a new carpet every other week if his pish was true.
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When you want to see a music video or movie clip on You Tube but who ever has posted it has put some stupid intro or title slide on the front of it. 

You didn't produce anything you twat, you uploaded a clip.  No one is interested in you and your imaginary Production company!

Edited by Ya Bezzer!
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