GordonD Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 24 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: IT folk. I know there are plenty on here so Im not talking about the plebian spotty bearded pony tailed (or baldy in Div's case) types who turn up and state "Ah, i'll need to run a batch programme to see if the IP has a POP runtime error and I need to port the FTP to the JCB". Dont care but carry on anyway. Im talking about their bosses who dont have a fucking clue what they are doing and set up a system whereby it takes 3+ days to get anything fucking working again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 At this very moment one of the culprits was actually forced to head over to the printer because whatever he tried to print caused a paper jam. He was just standing looking at it and said "anyone know how to fix this paper jam?" which again is the lazy c**t way of saying "I'm a fucking a moron, can someone please come and fix this for me?". You need to send it The Warthog. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 1 hour ago, The Moonster said: Lazy c***s in my work who are so fucking useless and inept that they're incapable of standing up from their desk and collecting the stuff they've printed off from the printer. "Oh, you heading to the printer? I might have some stuff there..." or worse, when I'm standing at the printer collecting or scanning my stuff, they say "could you stay there a minute, I'm just printing something". First couple of times I thought it was just coincidence but now I'm sure the c***s are just waiting for me to move first before printing their entire days work off. I might bring in a shredder, anyone who asks me to collect their print I will do so and enter it straight into the shredder and the person with the most requests at the end of the week gets showered in the confetti of their laziness. Failing that, I may need to resort to kicking pies. 1 hour ago, The Moonster said: At this very moment one of the culprits was actually forced to head over to the printer because whatever he tried to print caused a paper jam. He was just standing looking at it and said "anyone know how to fix this paper jam?" which again is the lazy c**t way of saying "I'm a fucking a moron, can someone please come and fix this for me?". I have the misfortune to sit beside one of the printers in my place (well, within 10 feet or so). this fact, by association, seems to make me a defacto expert in all things printery. "BR - do you know how to copy double sided?" "BR - how do you clear the jam?" "BR, this has run out of paper, where do I get more /how do I load it?" etc. I know how to do all of those things, but I'm trying to reduce the amount of questions I get per day, so I just give it the Gallic shrug whenever I'm asked. Unless they're one of my work's hot birds of course, in which case I turn into Mr Helpful, the most helpful person in Helpfulshire. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Americans who incessantly use the word "Awesome" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Americans who incessantly use the word "Awesome" At least it's part of their stupid language. Brits mis-using it it worse. A solar eclipse, the angel falls, the great pyramid, may be awesome; some c***s youtube video is probably not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tree house tam Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Gypsies. There are a band of the fuckers just outside Perth at the moment who have been raiding where i pick mushrooms. I go out of an evening in the hope of gathering as much liberty cap as possible before the frost arrives. These c***s are out during the day, the workshy b*****ds are harvesting the majority of the stock. Stick to doing driveways you utter utter c***s. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Just now, tree house tam said: Gypsies. There are a band of the fuckers just outside Perth at the moment who have been raiding where i pick mushrooms. I go out of an evening in the hope of gathering as much liberty cap as possible before the frost arrives. These c***s are out during the day, the workshy b*****ds are harvesting the majority of the stock. Stick to doing driveways you utter utter c***s. Picked a load on the lawns outside Grampian Police Headquarters a while back. No Gypsies in sight. Wee tip for you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 1 hour ago, coprolite said: At least it's part of their stupid language. Brits mis-using it it worse. A solar eclipse, the angel falls, the great pyramid, may be awesome; some c***s youtube video is probably not. Yeah, but it was our stupid language before they got hold of it and totally fucked it up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 2 hours ago, Boghead ranter said: I have the misfortune to sit beside one of the printers in my place (well, within 10 feet or so). this fact, by association, seems to make me a defacto expert in all things printery. "BR - do you know how to copy double sided?" "BR - how do you clear the jam?" "BR, this has run out of paper, where do I get more /how do I load it?" etc. I know how to do all of those things, but I'm trying to reduce the amount of questions I get per day, so I just give it the Gallic shrug whenever I'm asked. Unless they're one of my work's hot birds of course, in which case I turn into Mr Helpful, the most helpful person in Helpfulshire. I had that lucky seat for a while. We had a guy working close by - thankfully since retired - who made a point of printing out every bit of correspondence he generated to store in enormous lever arch files...no idea why, everybody else filed them in an NTFS system we were using. At any rate, he'd been printing stuff off solid for about twenty minutes, came over and said to me in a tone that was more accusatory than I was letting him away with "This printer's run out of paper..." "You fill it - you fuckin' emptied it..." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Applied for a promotion in work last week, and was offered an interview today, which is a RTBC in itself as I think it would be a fairly interesting position, and one which pays significantly more than my current role.Only I was told today, at 11.55am, that the interview is at 1.30pm tomorrow. And I was on an away day this afternoon with work so absolutely no chance to prepare or meet with the head of the team I am hoping to work with. Haven't even got a suitable suit cleaned, so having to go with chinos and a shirt. Absolutely raging, going to make it clear from the off that I had little to no chance to prepare. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Donald Trump saying "loser terrorists" makes my testicles retract inside my abdomen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Dee Man said: Donald Trump saying "loser terrorists" makes my testicles retract inside my abdomen. It's a bit like "cowardly" suicide bombers. What would a brave one do? The "loser" tag is presumably trying to reach teenage boys watching American childrens TV shows whose voices haven't broken yet, but are hot for a bit of jihadi action. Wouldn't surprise me if he gets a semi thinking about it. Edited September 19, 2017 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 15 minutes ago, Dee Man said: Donald Trump saying "loser terrorists" makes my testicles retract inside my abdomen. I would be inclined to seek professional help for that if I was similarly afflicted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 3 hours ago, ICTJohnboy said: Americans who incessantly use the word "Awesome" Hey Bud, you mean there are other words for describing stuff. Wow. That's .. er .. um .. can you tell us one of them? BTW - You should ask them why is "awful" a negative word. "Full of Awe" sounds like a good thing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) 42 minutes ago, Dee Man said: Donald Trump saying "loser terrorists" makes my testicles retract inside my abdomen. Obviously there are a whole bunch of would-be terrorists at their training camps, who have now just dropped their bombs, knives, suicide belts and everything and said "That's it. I'm out of here. I don't want anyone calling me a loser." Edited September 19, 2017 by Fullerene 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 17 minutes ago, Fullerene said: Obviously there are a whole bunch of would-be terrorists at their training camps, who have now just dropped their bombs, knives, suicide belts and everything and said "That's it. I'm out of here. I don't want anyone calling me a loser." Especially as they almost certainly crave his admiration and respect. "Geez, Mr. Trump called me a loser. <Sniffle> Where did I go wrong in life?." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 26 minutes ago, Fullerene said: Hey Bud, you mean there are other words for describing stuff. Wow. That's .. er .. um .. can you tell us one of them? BTW - You should ask them why is "awful" a negative word. "Full of Awe" sounds like a good thing. I could be wrong but I'm guessing you didn't go to school in Inverness. Do you often start a sentence with the word "Hey"..? What does "stuff" mean? Can the word "Wow" be used as a sentence? Were you asking me to come up with alternative word(s) for awesome? Fucking brilliant would generally suffice for me. BTW, My name is not Bud. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said: Top tip. Bit of batter, deep fry, serve with chips. Gypsies? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 43 minutes ago, ICTJohnboy said: I could be wrong but I'm guessing you didn't go to school in Inverness. Do you often start a sentence with the word "Hey"..? What does "stuff" mean? Can the word "Wow" be used as a sentence? Were you asking me to come up with alternative word(s) for awesome? Fucking brilliant would generally suffice for me. BTW, My name is not Bud. Actually I did go to school in Inverness. That was me trying to sound like an American. Didn't pull it off I guess. Obviously it doesn't convince anyone unless I use the word "awesome". Oh well, how disawesome? unawesome? aweless? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 5 minutes ago, Fullerene said: Actually I did go to school in Inverness. That was me trying to sound like an American. Didn't pull it off I guess. Obviously it doesn't convince anyone unless I use the word "awesome". Oh well, how disawesome? unawesome? aweless? So you were just taking the piss then? That's okay... In fact you've now gone up in my estimation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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