Rugster Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 Just now, Bairnardo said: On the way out the door to drop the wean at nursery this morning, Mrs B asks if I can swing by Farmfoods and get cans of juice. Fair enough, shitehole of a place but quality deals on crates of juice. She then says, wait the now il just phone my mum and asks if she needs anything... Aye nae fucking bother. And if you get your sister too il go ask the neighbours and by the time im back you should have a decent list for me. GTF It is a jakey shop but they do some great deals on juice and crisps. I probably go once every couple of months to stock up on Roysters, and assorted branded frozen goods etc (like Auntie Bessie's chips which Tesco have for some inexplicable reason stopped doing - non of the cheap shite they sell). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: On the way out the door to drop the wean at nursery this morning, Mrs B asks if I can swing by Farmfoods and get cans of juice. Fair enough, shitehole of a place but quality deals on crates of juice. She then says, wait the now il just phone my mum and asks if she needs anything... Aye nae fucking bother. And if you get your sister too il go ask the neighbours and by the time im back you should have a decent list for me. GTF That makes angry just reading it. In similar vein, my mate phoned me up and asked if I was able to give him a lift somewhere as the weather was pretty hellish. I wasn't busy and he didn't need to go far so happily obliged. He got into the car and said "Could you just swing by the bookies quickly on the way?". No bother, thinking he had a bet in mind and just wanted to jump in and place it. Park up at the bookies and he jumps in. 20 minutes later he comes back out with 4 absolutely massive betting slips. f**k it, I think, it's done now, just drop him off where he's going and get back home. Then he asks if he can jump into the shop for something. So I drive round to the shop and he jumps in. 10 minutes later he comes out with 2 bags of shopping. I just sat and stared at him when he got back in, he looks at me confused and says "what?". He's my best mate and I love the guy but he has absolutely no awareness of time and I honestly felt like smashing his face into the dashboard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I just know Tynieness lives near the canal to be honest. As for Slippery P, I think he's probably just overdone the drinking recently. A likely excuse. On the Mr P front, I would assume you’re right. I hope there’s a decent story to try and decipher on his return. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I'm quickly turning into Miguel Sanchez and his Glenn Hoddle posts but - Driving in Dumfries. Full of complete fuckwits. Left the house quite happy at half 10, just back now and the sheer stupidity of folk who shouldn't be allowed to drive has turned me into a miserable seething mess. If you don't know how to use a roundabout go and research it. Don't continue to use it wrongly. If you are uncomfortable driving at 60mph or are a tractor, stay off the fucking bypass and go through the town with the other slow moving traffic. If you drive around Tesco carpark/pull out of your space at a speed quicker than 10mph then you're a c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 13 hours ago, Gaz FFC said: Bought 40 fags as part of my brother in-laws xmas - Its what he wants before the abuse starts - £18 fucking quid and all the c**t is gonnae do is burn my cash. Smokers suck I wish they would just stick to the sucking part. The exhaling is the minging part for the rest of us... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 Receptionists who don't have a fucking clue what they are doing. I was first in the queue. If you take out my notes and put them in a new pile then proceed to put other's notes on top as they check in......... how do you think that'll work out in a clinic without appointment times? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blootoon87 Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 Wrapping Xmas presents. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 The big deal being made of the passport changing colour after Brexit. I couldn't give a f**k if it fluorescent, it's a passport ffs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 They should take off the changed unicorn representing Scotland and just have one massive knob on it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 3 hours ago, The Moonster said: That makes angry just reading it. In similar vein, my mate phoned me up and asked if I was able to give him a lift somewhere as the weather was pretty hellish. I wasn't busy and he didn't need to go far so happily obliged. He got into the car and said "Could you just swing by the bookies quickly on the way?". No bother, thinking he had a bet in mind and just wanted to jump in and place it. Park up at the bookies and he jumps in. 20 minutes later he comes back out with 4 absolutely massive betting slips. f**k it, I think, it's done now, just drop him off where he's going and get back home. Then he asks if he can jump into the shop for something. So I drive round to the shop and he jumps in. 10 minutes later he comes out with 2 bags of shopping. I just sat and stared at him when he got back in, he looks at me confused and says "what?". He's my best mate and I love the guy but he has absolutely no awareness of time and I honestly felt like smashing his face into the dashboard. Can I be your mate? Fucking hell 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 Mods FFS. Far more acceptable than 'Crimbo' IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 hour ago, Stellaboz said: They should take off the changed unicorn representing Scotland and just have one massive knob on it. I think your autocorrect has got you there. Anyhoo, I've just noticed it says 'QUIM' at the top of the Royal Standard. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 2 hours ago, Stellaboz said: They should take off the changed unicorn representing Scotland and just have one massive knob on it. It already has the word QUIM. (Have a look.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 16 hours ago, Gaz FFC said: Bought 40 fags as part of my brother in-laws xmas - Its what he wants before the abuse starts - £18 fucking quid and all the c**t is gonnae do is burn my cash. Smokers suck You could buy him some beer but I suppose he'd just piss it away. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 (edited) 7 hours ago, Bairnardo said: On the way out the door to drop the wean at nursery this morning, Mrs B asks if I can swing by Farmfoods and get cans of juice. Fair enough, shitehole of a place but quality deals on crates of juice. 2 x 24 packs for a tenner just now. I was in Stenny shop this morning, got 2 Irn Brus. Guy in front of me in the queue had 2 Irn Brus. Guy in front of him had 2 Irn Brus. it was like a @G_Man1985 tribute act. Edited December 22, 2017 by Boghead ranter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 Just now, G_Man1985 said: 2 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said: 2 x 24 packs for a tenner just now. I was in Stenny shop this morning, got 2 Irn Brus. Guy in front of me in the queue had 2 Irn Brus. Guy in front of him had 2 Irn Brus. Flying out the door. Can tell already they are good c***s One guy fell for the till marketing and paid £1 for an impulse pack of cheesy biscuit snacks. Lost a couple of respect points there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 hour ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: I think your autocorrect has got you there. Anyhoo, I've just noticed it says 'QUIM' at the top of the Royal Standard. 1 hour ago, GordonD said: It already has the word QUIM. (Have a look.) Great minds... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: Great minds... We must have posted at the same time because yours wasn't there when I wrote mine! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 Different coloured passports will help ISIS fast track your beheading in a hostage situation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 “Can I get your email address to send you an e-receipt?”f**k off. This happened to me in a taxi to leuchars train station.I had 2 minutes until my train and had to pay by card, was hoping for a contactless job.If you could just enter your email address.FIT? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.