Jump to content

Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


Recommended Posts

I just watched a film called Eden Lake . its the first time I've actually been properly unsettled by a film. It was amazing, but man its made me look at neds in a new way. Feart to sleep now. :(

Edited by xbl
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So.

There I was.

Taken a lassie back to my flat. I'll be honest, not my finest. Infact, given my low number and relatively high standard, it'd have been one for the "Ugliest birds..." thread. Unreal body, not so great in the chops. A proper get in, get out, get her out job.

Nevertheless, we got down to business. Clothes on the floor, she's as wet as an otter's pocket and the wee man is standing to attention and is being tugged like a dry well in Ethiopia. Good times, thinks McMuffin. Port. Storm.

"Give me a second."

*Reaches for the bedside table*

"I'm sorry."

"Whit?"

"I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend."

"WHIT?"

The game was over quicker than a Ryu Hadouken to finish. Why, oh why, could you not have given me this fairly important information when I started cracking onto you 3 hours ago, or when you were rubbing your arse against my thigh as if Shere Khan was about and you needed man's red flower for protection?

And the worst thing? Despite being fucked around (or not as it happens), being a nice chap I walked her to a taxi. Being Glasgow at 2.45am, we had to walk all the way to fucking Central. So not only did I not get laid, I got cold aswell.

I'm curiously mad and relieved at once.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I fell over my arse in Tesco garage and have been rewarded with a 'fashion' rip in my best jeans. Not to mention the mirth of ScuoboMuff etc...

Just knee'd myself in the face while typing this, time for bed...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And the worst thing? Despite being fucked around (or not as it happens), being a nice chap I walked her to a taxi. Being Glasgow at 2.45am, we had to walk all the way to fucking Central. So not only did I not get laid, I got cold aswell.

:lol: at the story plus you walked from the strath flats to Central and back?

What a genitle man.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why, oh why, could you not have given me this fairly important information when I started cracking onto you 3 hours ago, or when you were rubbing your arse against my thigh as if Shere Khan was about and you needed man's red flower for protection?

This is maybe the single most greatest thing I have ever read.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...