mjw Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Half wits that go on holiday and teach the locals to say things like- Och ay the noo,See you Jimmy etc. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 The obligatory Monday morning 'How was your weekend chat' at work...always first thing people ask as well. It's Monday morning FFS I just want to be left alone on a Monday morning - If I choose to speak to you about my weekend I will do it this afternoon when I'm not so tired/hungover. Almost as tedious as the usual Friday "So what are you doing at the weekend?" conversations. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audaces Fortuna Juvat Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Almost as tedious as the usual Friday "So what are you doing at the weekend?" conversations. Easily dealt with. Tell them you plan to watch animal porn and masturbate copiously. They tend not to ask again after that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blootoon87 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Biting your tongue! I'm 26 now ffs yet somehow I haven't learnt to eat without injuring myself 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 The obligatory Monday morning 'How was your weekend chat' at work...always first thing people ask as well. It's Monday morning FFS I just want to be left alone on a Monday morning - If I choose to speak to you about my weekend I will do it this afternoon when I'm not so tired/hungover. You should work next to me. I don't give a shit whether you live or die, never mind your shitey weekend. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 First time I really agree with the sarge 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikebhoy123 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Weegie shop assistants that keep calling you 'darling'. I went into Greggs in George square yesterday and asked " is that a custard slice or a meringue " ? The shop assistant said " Nah ( darling ) yer no wrang, it's a custard slice " ( I'll get my coat ) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 How is that job at the Health and Safety Executive going, Sarge?Thought he worked for the Samaritans? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Thought he worked for the Samaritans? That's not work, I volunteer...."Jump, your kind never dae". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I'm the quizmaster for a work pub quiz on Friday. I'm basing it on Who Wants to be a Millionaire but making up my own questions. I thought there would be a surfeit of free "make yer own Millionaire" type quizzes oot there, but sadly my colleague's expectations have been raised quite high... i.e. they expect the correct tunes, decent visuals, me not jumping in and out of Powerpoint slides after every answer and quite possibly Chris Tarrant himself. Unless I fancy paying a small fortune, downloading a shedload of shady software on my work PC that might not work or signing a pact with Beelzebub himself, I reckon there'll be some quite disappointed workies on Friday night. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Having to start the car ten mins before you drive 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrunitedfw Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 The 'going home' song on Radio 1. Just f**k off 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RawB93 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 People that listen to radio 1 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 People who shout that "Against Who?" pish during Flower of Scotland 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 People who shout that "Against Who?" pish during Flower of Scotland Or "guess who" as some mug from the tartan army forum thought it was. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Having to start the car ten mins before you drive Our local paper had a story last week of someone who did this and lost an Audi. I understand they caught the thief though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WullieBroonIsGod Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 c***s that bring their new baby into the workplace 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 When you're watching a programme, the adverts come on midway through and then you totally forgot that you were watching it when the second half comes on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Do dodgem cars have to be gritted? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrfields_Largs Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Seen a page on Facebook that one of my "friends" liked called Glasgows Known Peados. It was a page to share notes on dodgy people in your area. My PTTGOYN is that the page was closed before I could get on to wind them up 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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