Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) I've done more farts today than McGee gets red dots in a week. Edited July 25, 2012 by Zen Archer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Why do junkies always ask for 20p? Why is it never 50p or a quid? "can I have 20p for ma bus fare intae Paisley mate?", erm sorry pal but you are gonna need more than 20p to get from Glasgow city centre into Paisley. Remember one time a junkie asked me the above question and I offered him my all day ticket which I no longer needed so he could get the no. 9 bus to Paisley, he called me a w****r and walked off! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifergaz Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Getting home with a takeaway and realising somethings missing from the bag.tonight was 2 poppadoms-only £1 worth but still,it's a stupid mistake to make.mcds is bad for that too-getting home to find a cheeseburgers missing or the burgers no plain like you asked for. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffcsam Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) Not sure if it's hayfever or the cold but I feel lousy as fook Took Piriton earlier but to no effect. Wandered round to my brothers to hand something in and had a beer. Now I feel worse than before. Yes it's my own fault but when beer is free, ye just gotta have one. Edited July 25, 2012 by ffcsam 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 When beer is free, ye just gotta have one. If beer was free I doubt one would be the first number on your mind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffcsam Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 If beer was free I doubt one would be the first number on your mind. Was only the one Mr P . Hard to believe eh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Why do junkies always ask for 20p? Why is it never 50p or a quid? "can I have 20p for ma bus fare intae Paisley mate?", erm sorry pal but you are gonna need more than 20p to get from Glasgow city centre into Paisley. Remember one time a junkie asked me the above question and I offered him my all day ticket which I no longer needed so he could get the no. 9 bus to Paisley, he called me a w****r and walked off! They can't count anymore than 20p at a time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Got engaged to my missus on holiday the other week there and my mate then got engaged to his missus ten days later. Now I personally wouldn't have done it so quick after a mate as I would want them to enjoy their engagement for a while and celebrate etc but whatever, we're all friends so we can all celebrate together no big deal. Or so I thought. For the whole ten days after I got engaged, my missus and my mates missus were talking nonstop about my missus' engagement ring and my mates missus seen numerous pictures of it and talked about it in length so it came as a surprise to me that when they got engaged they went out and bought the exact same engagement ring. But only theirs is a little bit more than a carat than ours and they claim they didnt know that it was the same ring. If thats not a case of one upmanship I dont know what is. Would anyone else do this? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Kick your mates missus in the pie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the jambo-rocker Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 (edited) Got engaged to my missus on holiday the other week there and my mate then got engaged to his missus ten days later. Now I personally wouldn't have done it so quick after a mate as I would want them to enjoy their engagement for a while and celebrate etc but whatever, we're all friends so we can all celebrate together no big deal. Or so I thought. For the whole ten days after I got engaged, my missus and my mates missus were talking nonstop about my missus' engagement ring and my mates missus seen numerous pictures of it and talked about it in length so it came as a surprise to me that when they got engaged they went out and bought the exact same engagement ring. But only theirs is a little bit more than a carat than ours and they claim they didnt know that it was the same ring. If thats not a case of one upmanship I dont know what is. Would anyone else do this? Lie about planning to have the most extravagent wedding ever. If they are one-uppers, then they will try to do the same and probably bankrupt themselves in the process while you pig out on the free bar. Edited July 27, 2012 by the jambo-rocker 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyh Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Would put a junkies 20p on your mate having little to do with that. That's definatly the work of a devious split erse! My mates bird was raging after they announced their engagement and set a date and one of her mates then went and booked a date before it. Wimen are pure evil at times! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Who cares? You're happy to be engaged, so enjoy it. If that scenario happened to me I can honestly say I wouldn't care in the slightest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Who cares? Spot on Fudge. Who gives a monkey's what the rest of the world is doing if you are genuinely in love and looking forward to spending the rest of your lives together. I speak with the experience of 32 years of being in that Love Boat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 People who leave the foil on the top of margarine tubs after using them. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Who cares? You're happy to be engaged, so enjoy it. If that scenario happened to me I can honestly say I wouldn't care in the slightest. Yep, totally agree. It's the sort of thing a woman should probably get annoyed at, and guys just nod along and agree for the some peace. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Why do junkies always ask for 20p? Why is it never 50p or a quid? "can I have 20p for ma bus fare intae Paisley mate?", erm sorry pal but you are gonna need more than 20p to get from Glasgow city centre into Paisley. Remember one time a junkie asked me the above question and I offered him my all day ticket which I no longer needed so he could get the no. 9 bus to Paisley, he called me a w****r and walked off! They're not hooked on junk, they're addicted to those sweeties you get out of the wee red dispenser that's chained up outside the dry-cleaners. Can't put an all day ticket into one of those! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 People who leave the foil on the top of margarine tubs after using them. Ad Lib, please take note. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Ad Lib, please take note. He doesn't do notes, only huge paragraphs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Got engaged to my missus on holiday the other week there and my mate then got engaged to his missus ten days later. Now I personally wouldn't have done it so quick after a mate as I would want them to enjoy their engagement for a while and celebrate etc but whatever, we're all friends so we can all celebrate together no big deal. Or so I thought. For the whole ten days after I got engaged, my missus and my mates missus were talking nonstop about my missus' engagement ring and my mates missus seen numerous pictures of it and talked about it in length so it came as a surprise to me that when they got engaged they went out and bought the exact same engagement ring. But only theirs is a little bit more than a carat than ours and they claim they didnt know that it was the same ring. If thats not a case of one upmanship I dont know what is. Would anyone else do this? My ex-boss's fiancee (nowadays wife, but fiancee then) asked to see my wife's engagement ring when we got engaged a few years back. She then proceeded to compare it to her own and coo "Oh, darling, why couldn't I have gotten a wee cute ring like that, instead of this big flashy thing?" and flash her rock in everyone's face. Hatchet faced boot. Some people simply aren't capable of the necessary level of self-awareness required to have humility and grace. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, folk with that mindset are inevitably unhappy due to their own inability to be satisfied. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 My ex-boss's fiancee (nowadays wife, but fiancee then) asked to see my wife's engagement ring when we got engaged a few years back. She then proceeded to compare it to her own and coo "Oh, darling, why couldn't I have gotten a wee cute ring like that, instead of this big flashy thing?" and flash her rock in everyone's face. Hatchet faced boot. The fact that you didn't respond to this by going out and buying your then fiancee a far bigger ring means you don't love her enough. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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