WhiteRoseKillie Posted December 16, 2016 Share Posted December 16, 2016 Bloody media referring to "specially trained police" going in to sort out problems in prisons. They're fucking PRISON OFFICERS, you morons.Give the poor buggers credit where it's due, especially when they're putting their lives at risk to protect all of us 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RadgerTheBadger Posted December 16, 2016 Share Posted December 16, 2016 Mods. Bantz 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Ted Posted December 16, 2016 Share Posted December 16, 2016 Nah this one was right in the middle of Biggar. If you're signing off with your initials can you add Director or Dancer to the end of your name? For the 'Bantz' ken? Had a fish supper from there, a wee while ago. Fish was ok but it was rank frozen chips with it. Frozen chips are sacrilege at chippies, imo.One up top in Biggar, ST is right on it.Pepe's in Lesmahagow, just off M74 is top notch 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 4 hours ago, RadgerTheBadger said: Posts on here where there's a quote with "mods" underneath Cheers. Couldn't think of a film to watch but your post has inspired me to watch Quadrophenia. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-38340748 Everyone who buys a pair of these Apple Airpods for the princely sum of £159 should have to read out the following sentence to a member of the human race that has no access to clean drinking water. "He added that one benefit of wireless, miniaturised devices like the Airpods was the fact that connecting wires would not snag on clothing, for example." Definition of '21st century problem' right there. Absolutely superfluous techo-w**k for the emptiest and most bereft human beings that ever lived. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 Wimmin on 'a girls' night out' who can't remember what the round is and who are constantly surprised they have to pay for said drinks and ferret around in their bag for cash or card.. Just wimmin, really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 1 hour ago, The_Kincardine said: Wimmin on 'a girls' night out' who can't remember what the round is and who are constantly surprised they have to pay for said drinks and ferret around in their bag for cash or card.. Just wimmin, really. You can tell if a woman is attractive or not by how surprised she is to be paying for drinks. The more attractive the more surprised and the worse she will be at bar etiquette. You can also tell If a woman is attractive by how much you want to ride her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 2 minutes ago, Gaz FFC said: You can tell if a woman is attractive or not by how surprised she is to be paying for drinks. ^^^ And don't I fall for it every fucking time? "Oh don't worry....it's my shout..." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 People who snore within 5 seconds of trying to get to sleep. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 4 hours ago, Gaz FFC said: You can also tell If a woman is attractive by how much you want to ride her. How much I've drank can occasionally be a factor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 9 hours ago, The_Kincardine said: Wimmin on 'a girls' night out' who can't remember what the round is and who are constantly surprised they have to pay for said drinks and ferret around in their bag for cash or card.. Just wimmin, really. It's the same at supermarket checkouts. It tends to go like this. Cashier tells the woman what the cost of her shopping is. The woman then goes through the following procedure: 1 Open handbag, search for purse. 2 Take out purse, close handbag 3 Open purse, take out money 4 Close purse, open handbag, put purse in handbag 5 Close handbag, give money to cashier 6 Get change from cashier, open handbag, search for purse she put in there five seconds ago 7 Take out purse, close handbag 8 Open purse, put change in 9 Close purse, open handbag, put purse in 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 4 minutes ago, GordonD said: It's the same at supermarket checkouts. It tends to go like this. Cashier tells the woman what the cost of her shopping is. The woman then goes through the following procedure: 1 Open handbag, search for purse. 2 Take out purse, close handbag 3 Open purse, take out money 4 Close purse, open handbag, put purse in handbag 5 Close handbag, give money to cashier 6 Get change from cashier, open handbag, search for purse she put in there five seconds ago 7 Take out purse, close handbag 8 Open purse, put change in 9 Close purse, open handbag, put purse in What's worse is when an utter bimbo like this stands with her bag hanging off her elbow and empties her trolley one item at a time onto the conveyor belt and the same at the other end. Put the bag down you fucking airhead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 There's one in Biggar that's outstanding. The best fish and chips I've ever had. Port-leth-inHere to help 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 9 hours ago, The_Kincardine said: Wimmin on 'a girls' night out' who can't remember what the round is and who are constantly surprised they have to pay for said drinks and ferret around in their bag for cash or card.. Just wimmin, really. The thing that gets me is when you end up going up for one of those co-ed works night out rounds that take about five minutes to communicate and ten minutes to pull together: "Long vodka. Dark rum and diet coke - is that definitely diet? Two large white wines - one dry, one sweet...no, one dry...White Russian...Sidecar...no, I don't know what's in that either - only just heard of it..." Compare it to a guys-only round: "Five lager." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 8 hours ago, Gaz FFC said: You can tell if a woman (thinks she) is attractive or not by how surprised she is to be paying for drinks. Fixed no charge etc, etc. It's chrismas after all 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 1 minute ago, Hillonearth said: The thing that gets me is when you end up going up for one of those co-ed works night out rounds that take about five minutes to communicate and ten minutes to pull together: "Long vodka. Dark rum and diet coke - is that definitely diet? Two large white wines - one dry, one sweet...no, one dry...White Russian...Sidecar...no, I don't know what's in that either - only just heard of it..." Compare it to a guys-only round: "Five lager." What you do is order your own drink first, then drink it while the barman is pouring the rest of the round, then order another one for yourself at the end and bring it back to the table with the rest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 19 minutes ago, Hillonearth said: The thing that gets me is when you end up going up for one of those co-ed works night out rounds that take about five minutes to communicate and ten minutes to pull together: "Long vodka. Dark rum and diet coke - is that definitely diet? Two large white wines - one dry, one sweet...no, one dry...White Russian...Sidecar...no, I don't know what's in that either - only just heard of it..." Compare it to a guys-only round: "Five lager." "It hus tae be diet - she's diabetic" is normally the instruction given to the barman. Quite often by someone who themselves could do with a few diet cokes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 8 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said: "It hus tae be diet - she's diabetic" is normally the instruction given to the barman. Quite often by someone who themselves could do with a few diet cokes. Aye, I always think it's a bit strange that somebody insists on having diet coke as a mixer with something that's actually made from sugar. Used to be a big wumman in our place who'd bring in cream cakes - she could have done with offering them round, but never did - and would inhale them like the Visitors in "V" would have dealt with a rodent. She'd then chase them down with a can of Diet Coke like that would undo the damage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 6 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said: How much I've drank can occasionally be a factor. Very much this ^^^ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 4 hours ago, throbber said: Ewan McGregor What's he done now, Dark Helmet? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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