The Cricket Thread

[Mr. Brightside]

Done. Aussie's in to bat next methinks.

[garybs]

What the f is going on there today like??

[Swarley]

What the f is going on there today like??

Shooting fish in a barrel

[Highlandmagyar]

Utterly pumped!! Ashes returning to Australia.

[CambCelt]

Shocking stuff. .....

[BucksburnDandy]

I predicted 2-1 England, it looks like I was totally wrong. England look a tired, past it, team and are being ripped apart systematically just now.

Aussies have been different class, bowling with aggression, skill and intent and batting sensibly.

At this moment, the Ashes are gone and 5-0 already isn't beyond the realms of possibility.

Geoffrey Boycott at his brilliant best after the Joe Root dismissal on TMS

[CambCelt]

I predicted 2-2 with one Test drawn. Could still happen but I fcukin' doubt it.

[Highlandmagyar]

I predicted 2-1 England, it looks like I was totally wrong. England look a tired, past it, team and are being ripped apart systematically just now.

Aussies have been different class, bowling with aggression, skill and intent and batting sensibly.

At this moment, the Ashes are gone and 5-0 already isn't beyond the realms of possibility.

Geoffrey Boycott at his brilliant best after the Joe Root dismissal on TMS

Wasn't that Pieters?? And yes it was a meltdown of epic proportions. Just about fell out the bed laughing! You could feel the panic of his fellow commentators during his rant. You gotta admire his passion.

[Highlandmagyar]

I predicted 2-2 with one Test drawn. Could still happen but I fcukin' doubt it.

If England manage to retain the Ashes from this it will go down as an EPIC performance.

[BucksburnDandy]

Wasn't that Pieters?? And yes it was a meltdown of epic proportions. Just about fell out the bed laughing! You could feel the panic of his fellow commentators during his rant. You gotta admire his passion.

He definitely had a go at both, Root had "less sense than a chocolate mouse"! KP was the predictable not got a brain to bat with.

Great honest punditry, some of our football pundits could take a leaf out his book

[Benjamin_Nevis]

Boycott's absolutely brilliant value as a commentator. He's right as well. Pietersen's a fucking idiot, frequently flatters to deceive, and has in the very recent past been a divisive figure in the dressing room. He must be one of the most overrated batsmen in the last 20 years.

[Papad]

They said this was the worst Australian team ever..........

[peasy23]

Carnage again. Bell the only one to use his head, another totally demoralising day for England. Carberry was decent too, but how long can Prior keep his place? That takes him to 5 ducks in 9 tests

[dorlomin]

I have been trying to talk up England but screw it. They are toasted. This series is over. Everyone bar Bell and Broad is way way under performing, so many classy players are simply dialling it in that there needs to be changes at the top.

Look at someone like Finn, he seems to have gotten worse since joining the England set up. The whole team look worn out.

[sjc]

Am thinking that this Series kind of highlights our "British" mentality......on the rare occassions our teams (any sport) become a force in their field the tendancy to rest on larrels as opposed to ruthlessly pushing on and punishing the opposition.

[Reynard]

Englands batting is mentally shot to pieces now. They are getting out doing stupid things at stupid times which is a tell tale. And MJ can feel them fearing his pace which he is absolutely feasting on. Its actually great to watch a genuinely fast bowler like him tearing through a bunch of underpant soiling wankers. Johnsone has always been quick, but when he is toiling for form he is easy enough to play against at test level as he has only got two ways of playing. Fucking brilliant or fucking shite. If he could get himself into an area where he can deliver something half decent when he isn't at his best and the force isn't flowing through his system then he would be a very good bowler. Maybe this series will be the making of him? I hope so, because I like the guy and he is good to watch. Anyone that can swing a ball at over 90mph is going to be devastating at times.

As for England? That was horrible stuff. Cook is suffering from being captain by the look of it. If they had just left him to be a batting obsessive he would have been fine. Carberry is doing a reasonable job for a newbie and you cant really lay into him now. Root? I reckon he WILL become a good test player, but .. Pietersen is class but he gets out stupidly and brainlessly too much before he sets up his innings. Bell is good. Prior is finished. Stokes? Dinno about him as a batsman yet. And then youre into the tail. It has gone from looking formidable to looking like you couldnt wait to bowl at that lot in just over a year. The signs were there in NZ and all last summer, the first innings scores are just not getting racked up enough now.

The bowling attack looks fine to me. Anderson is always going to struggle to do what he does in English condition and with a shitty Kookaburra ball in his hand and on flat dry surfaces he lacks pace to penetrate a batsmans defences. He doesnt get awkward bounce either like Broad can extract. But he is good enough to know his limitations and deal with them down there. He wont be a matchwinner that often though. Broad is the key bowler and has looked ok. Stokes looked OK Swann looks non threatening these days and he isn't getting much turn either now in comparison to what he used to do. He is getting on though so its just nature taking its toll. Monty will do alright this winter if he plays.

Back to back series was a terrible idea from an English perspective. They should have fecked off to the Windies or something like that, enjoyed the ashes win in the summer, rebuilt under less pressure, and tried to get ready for the Saffies series and the Indians at home. Playing a wounded and motivated Aussie side so soon after despatching them while in obvious decline themselves just a few months later was a bad move and it has cruelly exposed the weaknesses. Its not a particularly good Australian side, they have a decent bowling line up when they are all fit and raring to go but their batting will wilt under pressure. England just arent good enough to apply any.

[Benjamin_Nevis]

Englands batting is mentally shot to pieces now. They are getting out doing stupid things at stupid times which is a tell tale. And MJ can feel them fearing his pace which he is absolutely feasting on. Its actually great to watch a genuinely fast bowler like him tearing through a bunch of underpant soiling wankers. Johnsone has always been quick, but when he is toiling for form he is easy enough to play against at test level as he has only got two ways of playing. Fucking brilliant or fucking shite. If he could get himself into an area where he can deliver something half decent when he isn't at his best and the force isn't flowing through his system then he would be a very good bowler. Maybe this series will be the making of him? I hope so, because I like the guy and he is good to watch. Anyone that can swing a ball at over 90mph is going to be devastating at times.

This is probably the best summary of Mitchell Johnson i've ever seen.

I like the guy as well, it's good to see him on this sort of form after the absolutely risible performance he put in against England last time they were down under. One and a half tests in and he's already taken 16 wickets and effectively turned Jonathan Trott into a blubbering wreck.

[Raidernation]

This Mitchell Johnson is an entirely different bowler to the one I've seen before. Instead of the occasional Jaffa amid a lot of scattershot, he's bowling accurate, fast and successfully. And with support from the other end as well. If it wasn't for the fact I've seen Lillee bowl, I'd say it was some of the most aggressive bowling I've seen from the Aussies.

England are done like a kipper here.

[Reynard]

This Mitchell Johnson is an entirely different bowler to the one I've seen before. Instead of the occasional Jaffa amid a lot of scattershot, he's bowling accurate, fast and successfully. And with support from the other end as well. If it wasn't for the fact I've seen Lillee bowl, I'd say it was some of the most aggressive bowling I've seen from the Aussies.

England are done like a kipper here.

He has done things like this before. It is the off days that have always been his issue.

He is a bit like Devon Malcolm for England back in the day. He could be horribly bad sometimes, but when he was in the mood and snorting fire he too must have been a hostile mess to bat against.

He has hadtime away from test cricket and he has mucked around with his run up rythym and trying not to collapse away too much at delivery and it has worked so far. He is maybe being handled better by the team management too as he seems like a lad that needs a bit of looking after at times. He can do the raging bull thing fine but he can be very fragile when its not happening and his captain needs to handle him well.

I thought Clarke was excellent with him in the first test. He gave him a few overs while the England punters jeered him and tried to get under his skin, he was alright, but he was just turning his arm over a bit. Took him off for a bit then threw him the ball again and told him to take some wickets. He hasnt looked back. I'm looking forward to see him skittle through the England side who are now clearly shitting themselves. The bouncer is something we dont get to see much of these days thanks to stupid rule changes and one day cricket wrecking it. But this is test match cricket. Let the umpires decide whether the batsmans lifeis in danger or not and let them play like men.

[WullieBroonIsGod]

Aussies declare...