tamthebam

You're like the dyslexic agnostic who sat up all night wondering about the existence of Dog.

The right wing don't particularly care to have the pish taken out of them so you could be on to a winner. I find one of the funniest things in Private Eye is the letters from gammons cancelling their subscription because they're objecting to satire in a satirical magazine.

You used to be able to find a pump down Salamander Street....

Ripped jeans Mainly because you feel like saying "yer ma would have been wearing the same fashion around about 1989 so it's nothing new or cool"

A similar thing happened at an Edinburgh City game back in EOSL days. Goalkeeping coach had a disagreement with a defender at half time and booted him one. The Coach left the ground never to be seen again and the defender had to be subbed injured for the second half.

To start you off: You once played on a pitch at Heriot Watt University roughly where the Oriam is now. It was a pre-season against Meadowbank Thistle c.1992 Obscurity...

You're safely midtable obscurity so gonnae no bother next week...

You're only unbeaten thanks to refereeing incompetence at Meadowbank. Nothing personal.

I saw this chap on the Union Canal near Broxburn a fortnight ago

I'm bringing down the UK public sector from the inside but so far North Korea have been late with the payments...

A pal's dug Name: Lily Likes: Sticks. Chasing sticks. Biting sticks. Breaking sticks in half by biting them. Making you look for another bloody stick

Maybe Livingston could lend a few players to their neighbours in Deans next year if they were keen for them to get East of Scotland League experience...

You reckon? I don't.

Land in Edinburgh is expensive and likely to have a hotel or student halls built on it. The ordinary Edinburgher doesn't get a look in now in Scotland's Disneyland. Decent facilities for native Edinburgh people?! Ha! Try buying an affordable house on the average Scottish wage and you'll find why a lot of ex-Edinburgh people are travelling into work from Fife and East, Mid and West Lothian now. The debacle regarding banning the Ultras for making too much noise also doesn't fill me with confidence that any other football ground wouldn't be subject to petitions from greeting faced busybodies. The Council don't like noise unless it's a concert at the Castle or a Festival Fringe event. If a rich and particularly benevolent billionaire whose favourite colours are black and white is out there then I'd build something at Shawfair as there's a station there and it's quite handy for coming off the by-pass and there's a big housing estate planned there. Saughton Enclosure could conceivably be converted into a fairly decent wee ground too (even better if you rip up the running track there on the grounds that there's a perfectly good one at Meadowbank so f*ck off you twatty athletes)

It's got me Sam Foxed anyway