tongue_tied_danny

I was staying overnight at the a Euro Hostel on Clyde street in Glasgow last week. I fell asleep and started to dream that I was shagging Agyness Deyn. Just as I was about to shoot my load a bunch of Celtic fans gathered outside my window and started singing anti-rangers songs. The c***s woke me up at exactly the wrong possble moment. c***s!

I doubt it Trump will accuse Stormy Daniels of being "^^^rattled" though...

Abso-fucking-lutely

That is exactly what I was about to recommend. The Nowy Swiat Pavilions is a slightly run down shanty town of punky counterculture bars. They are tucked away at the bottom of Novy Swiat street. If you can find this artificial palm tree you are almost there... The bars are through an alleyway just on the right at the very bottom of the street as you walk away from the palm tree towards the old town. Aside from that the Warsaw uprising museum is well worth a visit. It's quite possibly the best military history museum i have been to.

To Live And Die in L.A. classic 80s crime thriller about a maverick FBI agent hell bent on taking down a counterfeit operation. Very stylish, violent in places, a cool 80s soundtrack and the sleazy backstreets of L.A. have never looked so good. 10/10

The ladies love these...

Trevor Cleaver seems to be enjoying himself there...

I'm a wee bit disappointed with the last episode there but I suppose they're trying to take the show in a different direction. I was really hoping Michonne would decapitate the blonde bitch who grassed on Dwight.

Drink venom.

I love Threads. I would have been about 8 or 9 when it was on. My dad let me stay up to watch it and I was too scared to go bed afterwards. Very powerful, despite the low budget...

Brewdog Cocoa Psycho This is a chocolatey stout weighing in at a hefty 10%. Tbh it's not very nice. It tastes like a tin of Kestrel Super that's has a teaspoon of hot chocolate powder stirred through it.

Listen to Avicii.

Matthew Broderick is a fucking fanny. I don't think I would ever get bored of punching his smug coupon.

Yeah, but most of Scotland was late to the party by a good 5 or 10 years. I remember getting turned away from the Mardi Gras in Dundee for wearing Stan Smiths while all these scheme goblins in Burton's trousers and black shoes were marching straight in. There's also the famous story about Norwegian pop stars A-Ha getting the KB from the Coconut Grove because the singer was wearing jeans.

Refer to their mates on Facebook as "the biys".

Ready Player One Not perfect but very entertaining in a mindless way. Excellent visuals and I'm glad I paid the couple of extra quid for 3d. It was good fun spotting the pop culture references. I would say the film is better than the book, the action scenes are more exciting and the references are slightly less geeky. 7/10

If you don't stop it.... you'll go blind. Cheesy 70s comedy. A series of sketches rather than one storyline with plenty of gratuitous nudity and crude, juvenile humour. About as subtle as a boot in the steens but amusing in places. Any film starting Uschi Digatd gets a thumbs up from me. 5/10

Muriel Spark fucking pisses me off. I'll admit that I don't know a single thing about her and that I have never read any of her books but there is just something about her name that makes me wish I had the opportunity to boot her in the pie...

Bomber is really good. You can almost taste the tension in the part where they being pursued by a nightfighter.

The Long Good Friday I thought I'd celebrate Good Friday with this classic British gangster movie. It's dated and its production values are closer to a TV crime show from that era, like "The Sweeney", than a cinematic release, but it is still fucking brilliant. Bob Hoskins is very convincing as the old school cockney villain attempting to embrace the modern age while his empire is being attacked. 8/10

The 40s were great, rationing, V2 rockets, what's not to love?

Red Sparrow It's no masterpiece but it was interesting enough. 7/10

I haven't found them in any local shops or pubs yet but I'm drinking William's Midnight Sun right now. Lovely stuff...