SEETHING

5-0 Livi or you're not a proper Edinburgh team imo.

I thought Duffy wiping out Kent was more of a red card tbh.

I'm sure that means a lot to him mate.

I think you'll find we have Dundee tonight actually.

Post-Christmas Hibs collapse, you say?

Actually quite sweet to see Dundee fans getting excited about this game in the same way they were excited about the opening fixture of the season.

CHAMPIONS 3 - 1 ARBROATH Another TEDIOUSLY EASY win for the Champions against these NON-ENTITY teams, to go MANY points clear. I am on the verge of EXHAUSTING my reserves of WITHERING CONTEMPT for this PATHETIC league, to be replaced with a sense of ENNUI in contemplation of how much of my life will have EBBED AWAY by the time Hearts will bid farewell to the teams of POSTIES and PLUMBERS forever.

Hearts' Scottish Cup dream died for the sake of Lennon's Celtic chucking the league away at the final hurdle. Alternatively: Craig Wighton has won the league for Rangers.

False.

They were 3-0 down after 36 minutes m8.

Christ, can the SPFL not just give us this silly wee title now and save everyone some petrol money.

If you're watching the away stream, your team will lose.

Why are you posting this BORING nonsense about ye olde footeballe on this thread you CRETINS

Good lord.

The emotional cost of witnessing your daft wee team being steamrollered will be far greater.

Lovely news - I enjoyed that opening day result a great deal.

CHAMPIONS 5 (FIVE) - 3 AYR UNITED Yet another ROUTINE VICTORY for the EDINBURGH EXCELSIOR, seeing off the latest iteration of the MEAN STREET POSSE at Tynecastle. Ayr were so LAMENTABLE that even bottling JACKANAPES Steven Kingsley and Craig Wighton could get on the scoresheet. I had BETTER THINGS TO DO than watch this game, but I assume that their goals were the sort of LIMP-ANKLED SIDE FOOTER finishes that one can get away with in this LEAGUE OF MISFIT TOYS.

Champions-Elect 6 (six) - 1 Queen of the South Believe it or not, FOLLOWERS, it is a BITTERSWEET feeling for me tonight, as my BIG team TROUNCED my WEE team. It is a SAD DAY for Queens fans as even CONFIRMED DIDDY Elliot Frear managed to bag a goal against their HAPLESS side. The juggernaut's PATH OF DESTRUCTION shows no sign of abating, which will surely strike IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME into the disgestive tracts of all PUB LEAGUE fans.

WRONG thread MUPPET

MORTON 0 (NIL) - 2 CHAMPIONS-ELECT As promised, FOLLOWERS, I have returned to this thread in TRIUMPH, having witnessed the Champions-Elect's latest BRUSHING ASIDE of a PROVINCIAL CLUB. I dropped Geography after INTERMEDIATE TWO, but I'm fairly sure that Greenock is a TIER THREE area at present. Quite frankly, their silly little club belongs in tier FOUR of the Scottish leagues, given the ABSENCE OF THREAT they posed on their POTATO FIELD of a pitch. The juggernaut rolls on, friends.

It was outwith my personal control, yes. HMFC bafflingly went with Joel Pereira in goals instead.

Thoughts and prayers with St Mirren fans in this difficult time; being arbitration arbitrarily punished for circumstances outwith their control.

It's a diddy competition anyway tbf.