Estragon

I've made several attempts to authentically use the phonetic alphabet when on the phone to these tossers, never seems to work. It's as though my brain filters out the actual phonetic alphabet, plus all the myriad of relatable words beginning with the letter in question leaving you like "......paleontology.........eh.....quixotic.......Montrose...."

I wonder if St Johnstone will be stopped at 8iaR....

Part of me wants to see those unbearable young Celtic fans have their first taste of life altering failure, the other part thinks Sevco are the absolute pits of humanity. Ultimately I don't care who wins so long as Craig Levein is still in the driving seat at Tynecastle come May.

Why are you lot always so totally joyless? Don't worry, we're probably going to wait until at least the end of the season before commissioning a lego replica open top bus.

If we're on 30 points or above by the break I'd expect us to invest in the attack in January and have a real tilt again. Defence is exceptional - and the next two home games are a big opportunity.

The Irish Backstop* *credit = some moment of genius on kickback.

Honestlydon't see how the Hearts "support" can have a problem with Levein. Talk about ideas above your station? Embarrassing.

I really like the fact that you typed the word "fanny" and then immediately lost the ability to construct a sentence.

This is the one that sprung to mind as soon as I read the title. For me, a song that goes absolutely nowhere - never understood its popularity. Tell ye what's better than Purple Rain? November Rain.

I would agree if it was the TV show that was more OF-y than the podcast, but it's the opposite way round. Nary a mention of the ugly sisters on Friday.

"So, woman from Clyde 1....how does it feel to win a treble treble?" f**k. Off.

I quite liked the item on Cove Rangers tbh. Some have said it was overlong, but it was an introduction - for c***s like me - to the league's newest club. Since the SC final I've really felt like the podcast has become more OF-friendly, pleased to see the tv version hasn't followed suit.

Giving up isn't the same as moving on.

St Johnstone shutout continues. Pleasing.

Or the 4 by 2s. I thought "4 by 2s" meant Jews.

Agreed, I thought we had a definite penalty at the beginning of the second half but them's the breaks sometimes. McKenzie could, for me, have gone at the following points; during the Porteous debacle. immediately afterwards for a foul on Lewis Stevenson (I think). for chucking the ball away after scoring his penalty. Also, are the refs just going to complete shit the bed on the rule that players are to go directly off when substituted? It's as though they just take their cue from the player in question. Maybe a bit harsh on St Clair - he showed some good touches but couldn't get into the game. It'll take him a while to get up to playing these sort of games - felt he was taken off at the right time.

God, this is frustrating. We're generally very comfortable at the back, so feel like a team who will only need to score once to win a decent number of matches....but at the moment we don't look like getting them. Our atrocious cup record continues. How long does it have to take before we get a glamourous curse to refer to? A la Benfica/Boston Red Sox/Hibernian FCC?

Do you lads not know how mince we've been in the cups of late? Hibs have been to 4 finals since we last played at Hampden.

Somewhere in an airport in Turkey, there's a flightless gammon who is in sheer #turmoil. Wonderful.

This mock outrage about how Boris "lied to the Queen" is doing my head in. All very gammon-y, surprised at a few. Jo Swinson's face contorted in a mask of disgust as she said it earlier on. As far as I've been led to understand, the Queen doesn't exactly have a right to be convinced about a request to prorogue, the Privy Council just ask her permission and she says aye. At least, that was according to Lord Hope on the day of the Court of Sessions verdict. The PM and his acolytes have misrepresented this prorogation to parliament, and to the public - this is enough to be disgusted about. To attempt to make the situation seem worse by exaggerating the extent to which it's an offence to our collective consciousness to lie to the Queen is pure theatre, and more what we've all come to associate with Francois, JRM, Gove, and the rest of they c***s.

Do we still provide Empire biscuits in the colours of the visiting team? Re:the game, tougher than the #hibsbois are currently making out. While I'd say that if we get an early goal I'd fancy us to make it comfortable...early goals aren't particularly our thing.

I think you're c***s win, lose, or draw. All of you. From the goggle eyed sow, to the monobrowed simpleton, and everything in between.

The standard of debate on this subject is utterly laughable.

^^^ Kens the score...

Guaranteed whoever wrote this absolutely fucking adores Top Gear.