BFTD

You're a good son, Zenny. After all, look what happened last time she forgot protection.

On the whole health tip, I've spent the past year saving up for a decent exercise bike. Finally reached the target this month, but I'm convinced that the fatal heart attack will strike before the damned thing arrives. Ah well, the wife knows where the life insurance documents are.

Reported for homophobia. (not really)

Recently finished X-COM: Enemy Within, which was a nice addition to a fine game, but probably a little steep at the RRP of £20. Followed that up with a replay of Duke Nukem Forever for some reason. Utter garbage compared to Duke Nukem 3D, obviously, but worth picking up for a fiver if you like bad games. So many mystifyingly poor design decisions. Made a quick run-through of Zombie Shooter this morning. Old-school 2D graphics, terrible AI, awful collision detection, dreadful English translation...yet it's absolutely cracking stuff if you're in the mood to mow down thousands of mutant zombies. Unparalleled levels of slaughter. Ludicrous at the Steam store price of £10.99, but it's a must-buy when it's reduced to a couple of quid. Often shows up as part of the various bundles that turn up online too.

Just heard from a psychotherapist that I do a good job at passing for a normal person. I'm sure some on here would disagree.

Penguins of Madagascar. Wee bit disappointing, but the penguins themselves are still good value.

Genuinely don't know if you're kidding. Does he live in Scotland?

Why is there a bit of graffiti on Cowane Street in Stirling that reads, "VOTE YES, GABRIEL BYRNE!"

I'm still scarred by a Christmas CD that played on a loop in a shop I worked at seventeen years ago. Instantly transported back to that horrible job whenever I hear Santa Baby, Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time, Fairytale of New York...

Food is tasty, and we don't give a f**k. Case closed.

Overheard a lassie begging the manager of a local club to allow her son back in to the premises. Apparently he should have just been giving a warning for dealing drugs in the lavvies. So much WTF.

The Sacrament - journalists follow a man on a journey to visit his estranged sister, who has joined a new-age cult at a jungle hideaway of their own making. This is a pretty decent found-footage thriller by Ti West, whose House of the Devil won plaudits a few years back, and who seems to have Eli Roth as a mentor. The whole thing is quite well-acted, and has an interesting story. There's just one big elephant in the room, which is I'm a tad annoyed that I already knew the story, because I think it would've been really quite entertaining. Recommended, with the above caveat.

I'm sure a few of us have, and you haven't even provided us with pics yet. Or GTF, for that matter.

I'd imagine that depression among the student body is more common than the average. Your counsellor might have some suggestions about organisations that can help until you get to the top of the waiting list. There are some really good voluntary counselling groups out there; my wife's involved in one in the Forth Valley. Universities really ought to make signing up with a local GP part of the matriculation process. I seem to remember that Edinburgh Uni were going to do just that about a decade ago. There's a lot of students end up running around like headless chickens when they have a broken condom get sick and don't have their parents to take them to the doctor anymore.

Keep at it; most employers rate attendance and consistent employment over virtually everything else. It might not seem like it, but it'll make a difference when you do start getting interviews in your field. Also, get some insoles for your boots to help with the blisters. Your feet will adjust over time, as will the rest of you Presumably you're in the warehouse - keep your spirits up by regaling us with tales of WTFery

I remember there being some semi-decent nudes of Gail Tilsley about 25 years ago, shot on some balcony from an enterprising pap. I think she was Tilsley last time I watched the show - how many husbands is she on now?

YouTube's utterly useless for recommendations. They're currently trying to persuade me to introduce a little Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj into my life. I can only assume that I watched something with 'suicide' in the title and they're trying to help me along.

Brilliant. I'd actually read your agony aunt column.

Jesus, battered Mars bars and pizzas are one thing, but that's just a step too far in my book

In fairness, they drop like flies. Ultimate Warrior, Randy Savage, Owen Hart...all deid before old age could claim them, and probably crippled before that. £36 a year seems pretty reasonable if it helps in any way.

^^^ This. Also, I never met a PE teacher for whom arthritis would particularly be a problem. All they ever did was stand on the sidelines, cross their arms, and scream abuse. Mr Woolshed, I'm sure you're a very different breed

Seriously, give the voluntary thing a try, if you can. Sounds like it would deffo help to feel needed. (can't believe I used the abbreviation 'deffo')

Thanks. You boys know how it feels to beat The Rangers

Driver's legally responsible for whatever's going on inside the vehicle, so aye. Perfectly entitled - nay, EXPECTED - to pull over and dump any p***k who disagrees on their arse at the side of the road. Have fun

Been many a moon since I played Vice City, but I believe that the Americans pronounce Maibatsu as 'prohs-teh-tuut'. Edit: my 1337 quoting skillz let me down