BFTD

I'll distract the hefties for you. My anaconda, etc.

Jesus, it's real. Small business' worst nightmare.

No funeez whatsoever. Lost a lot of respect for Graham Linehan. Bit of grooming going on halfway through, however. The dropping of Mickey Mouse is supposed to represent loss of innocence IMO.

The Food Ratings website linked to in the comments makes for interesting reading: http://ratings.food.gov.uk/authority-search I just discovered that our favourite takeaway was listed as 'Needs Improvement' this year Anyone that's ever gone on a food hygiene course will never look at food outlets the same again. Some of the pictures of places with lovely clean exteriors and horrific kitchens that you wouldn't keep pigs in...*shudder* Worst part is that they aren't allowed to tell you where the local authority took the pictures

Wow. That really tells quite a story

Is she in quarantine?

Genuinely don't understand what Mon The Candy is saying. Am I being whooshed?

Threaten to show their "darling husbands" what they've been telling the internet behind their backs. Should go very quiet very quickly. Or escalate into open warfare, depending on the time of the month

My headache trumps all of these things TBF. And none of you c***s even care!

Wow Reads like the work of an ex.

Stuck in the house yesterday with a raging headache that had been building all week, so no Hertz game for me. Our internet connection dies at 2:45pm and doesn't come back up until about fifteen minutes after the Scotland game has finished. Radio Scotland's coverage of virtually every club game in Scotland consisted of an early confirmation that the games were taking place, and practically f**k all else until time for final scores. Also, more than four hours of, "Dad, is the internet working yet?" while I cower in the dark.

The police will ask themselves; worth pointing that out to them. Although I'd be surprised if they haven't already. Get a wriggle on though, as who knows how long they keep the recordings.

Might also want to suggest that the students have a wee drinkie after classes to relax. I doubt that'll have occurred to them either.

Took two men in the Golden Hole...lost for days in the bush...went on a bender...matron! <kennethwilliams.jpg>

Noble, Jupitus, Toksvig, Perkins...not a lot of QI fans on the board, I take it. Leave wee Sandi alone - she was my first crush as a four-year-old

Tell her they're repelled by the smell of semen. There's bound to be a website to back that up.

The plug-ins do f**k all that repels spiders so, if they've disappeared from your house of late, the only explanation is that she's eating them. Also, conkers are well known props in satanic rituals, so I'd be pretty worried if I were you.

Hiding-in-plain-sight-type post IMO.

Something like this, perhaps? Phwoar.

God, I'd no idea that computers were so sexy. I really didn't take advantage of my time as a technician.

I believe that P&B's antidepressant of choice is alcohol. Or the BRALT, but only at certain times. I understand November is currently scheduled for maximum effect. You'll feel better soon, don't worry *strokes hair*

Which would make you my...uncle?

Enter The Void - an American drug dealer living in Tokyo experiences aspects of the Tibetan Book of the Dead after a drug deal goes wrong. This is definitely a cinema film, and I kinda wish I'd seen it in that environment, as it would certainly work better as a sensory experience. Forget about narrative, because there's very little and what's there is poor and obvious. This is all about the neon backdrop of Tokyo and the inventive drug hallucinations, which brought to mind Ken Russell's Altered States. That said, the film is almost three hours long, and is interminably dull when viewed on a small screen. Ghost Rider - a young motorcycle stuntman is tricked into selling his soul to the Devil in exchange for becoming his supernatural problem-solver. I can't stand Nicolas Cage, so I avoided the hell out of this, but it has a great deal of comic value for the patented 'Cage Hysterical Freakout' scenes that litter the running time. I like to think that these are just shots of Cage between takes, just being himself. Sam Elliott's presence amusingly highlights Cage's lack of charisma, while excellent PG use is made of Eva Mendes' assets. The film itself is fluff, but is made more entertaining by the silliness of the plot, so it definitely qualifies for a bad movie night. Shockingly bad CG too.

My granny came from over by Aberfoyle and, to my knowledge, never set foot in Clackmannanshire. For some reason, she used to call me Tullibody when I was a young hatchling. I never knew that Tullibody existed until I randomly ended up driving through the place as an eighteen year old. Luckily I wasn't driving when I saw the "you are entering..." sign, as my mind was blown Sadly, my gran was long dead by then. So many questions.

^^^ yet to hear that he's never seeing his hole again