BFTD

What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Uncle Walt Disney? Bing respects the accepted societal norms regarding sexual behaviour in the presence of minors. Mmm, not quite as catchy

In the past, I have been complimented on my lovely wide smile. This puts a very different slant on things ^^^ me, yesterday.

Snuff Movie - a retired filmmaker returns to make one last film about the terrible slaughter that destroyed his family and friends decades before. No bones about it, this is a no-budget fantasy about what might have happened if Roman Polanski had lost his mind (in a non-BEASTly way) after his wife's brutal murder at the hands of the Manson family. As such, it's in pretty poor taste, and is a poor movie besides, with a "will this do?" vibe about it. The plot is almost non-existent, with a group of actors (played by actors - OMG META!!!) running around the director's house being snuffed. This isn't helped by weak, half-hearted attempts to provide an artsy note of doubt about whether or not what we're seeing is "real" (clue: it's isn't, because IT'S A FUCKING MOVIE), culminating in an ending that sits on the screen like a flaccid penis in a bored housewife's mouth. The worst part is that this mess was entirely conceived by Bernard Rose, the respected music video director, who also directed films like Candyman and Immortal Beloved. Apparently he withdrew from the studio system of making movies some time ago to make motion pictures that he personally finds interesting, free from the shackles of base financial considerations. Pretty depressing if this was the kind of thing he had in mind. Edit: just remembered that the main actress spends half the film in the nuddy, occasionally getting her box munched for no good reason, and there's also a slutty blonde with stupidly fake norks who spends a fair bit of time randomly bonking. So, possibly a classic if approached from a one-handed point of view.

Facebook took down a picture of my arse once. I understood their jealousy, but I've never quite forgiven them for it.

It's good to read you've found an alternative to the socks, at least.

<ladyboy.jpg> Yowza! That's one hot momma. Nary a trace of a tuckback

Too late, Facebook already has your pictures; closing the account won't make any difference. The wean's probably already being used in advertising campaigns in foreign climes. If it makes you feel any better, the two chancers you're talking about are more likely to work for other advertising companies than to be looking for cheap thrills.

I think you've just been unfortunate enough to be sending the reference to an office where they don't have a clue what they're doing, although there are quite a few of those. Only had to write one personal reference so far, which was for a lassie entering the civil service, and all they wanted was a quick email. If anyone would be a nightmare for red tape, you'd think it'd be the government. But yeah, MozzaMozza FTW

The Stepfather - a serial killer posing as a bereaved family man crosses America, hooking up with single mothers in his quest for the perfect family. It's been a quarter of a century since I saw them, but the originals in this series weren't bad. I vaguely remember them having more of a mystery element, whereas this film lays out the titular character's proclivities in the opening titles, which probably isn't a bad thing at this stage. Our antihero is played by one of the dudes from Nip/Tuck this time around, and he does a decent job of portraying an utter psychopath. The rest of the cast are decent too, including Dr House's ex-wife. The film's fairly entertaining, but there aren't any surprises in the plot; it's an exercise in waiting for everything to inevitably unravel. Worth a look if there's nothing else on the telly, as there wasn't tonight.

I've been having hallucinations again lately. Hold me, P&B

Boyle is an absolute beast in my Montrose Football Manager game. Uhh...not sure what that has to do with anything. Carry on

Without trying to be mean at all, I've always had the impression that the benches outside Falkirk Asda are where the patients from the hospital's psych ward gather. Always seems to be someone there in a dressing gown and slippers, with the kind of look on their face that tells you they've seen some horrible shit, some of which was visible only to them.

...I remember, not that I want to. Worst part is that, IIRC, that was the only thing that wasn't done to the girl in real life.

I'm thinking this is the kind of thing that the Wayback Machine was invented for. Do we have a rough time that this thread was up?

I'm developing a fine pair of tits, if that helps any. We know the presence of cock isn't necessarily a deal-breaker

I think I was more into 40 Plus back in '92. I guess they'll all be 60 Plus now, so I might give it a miss

Must admit I've been missing her. Guess I'll have to spend the rest of the evening looking for her on Google *sigh*

Sounds like a quality move to me. Do they still do Slaine? I don't think any of the magazines I read in 1992 still exist

Aye, I ken that. How about the one on your finger?

Always worth assuming in a work situation. I had a boss once who brushed his teeth once per hour, and kept his toothbrush next to the sink in the work toilets. Bless.

Are you, Chris, actually my ex? If so, can I have my ring back please?

She'd never seen it before and had no idea what it was about, to be fair to her

Must not be used to a flat, even surface these days. It would explain why we played the better passing football, to be fair. Maybe the Championship clubs should organise a wee whip-round for pitch upkeep at Ibrox?

Are you ever going to tell us? You know what a compassionate, supportive bunch we are.

The wife's been receiving occasional hateful messages through sites like Facebook for the past year or two - gloating when relatives or pets die, that kind of thing. Nothing too exciting, just the typical trolling stuff you get with social media if you're daft enough to accept requests from people you don't know. However, I just got an anonymous email from the same person, and it's obviously the work of an ex-girlfriend that I haven't seen or heard from in fifteen years Not sure whether to be flattered that I left such an impression, or sad that she's in such a bad place that she spends her Friday nights bitterly attacking people from her past